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Love Line

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Old 05-10-2010, 05:21 PM   #1
ara
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Ever "not feel it" then get it back?

i'm at a crossroads with my g/f, i haven't been feeling it lately, i like her, she hasn't done anything wrong, she's a nice g/f, good person etc. But something is not there anymore and the sparks are gone, why i donno.

So i had a talk with her last night, she obviously wants it to work out, she REALLY likes me, she'll do anything to keep it going, she feels she did something wrong, but she didn't.

I'm torn, on one side i tell myself if i don't "feel it" anymore, then there is no hope. But on the other hand, i feel bad, and she's a great person, so what if i'm making a mistake.

Has anyone been in my shoes, and stuck through it only to have it improve?
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Old 05-10-2010, 05:23 PM   #2
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Originally Posted by ara View Post
i'm at a crossroads with my g/f, i haven't been feeling it lately, i like her, she hasn't done anything wrong, she's a nice g/f, good person etc. But something is not there anymore and the sparks are gone, why i donno.

So i had a talk with her last night, she obviously wants it to work out, she REALLY likes me, she'll do anything to keep it going, she feels she did something wrong, but she didn't.

I'm torn, on one side i tell myself if i don't "feel it" anymore, then there is no hope. But on the other hand, i feel bad, and she's a great person, so what if i'm making a mistake.

Has anyone been in my shoes, and stuck through it only to have it improve?
i was in the same situation recently, and i just broke up with her. She is probably in love with you, and your not in love with her, so at this point your just leading her on....Best advice is to break up, date alittle, and see if you miss her
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Old 05-10-2010, 05:25 PM   #3
ara
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and how did you break it off, what was your breaking up talk?

did you feel bad for her too? **** this sucks

i get what you mean by leading her on, but what if i fell in love with her eventually? or that's just dumb
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Last edited by ara; 05-10-2010 at 05:27 PM.
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Old 05-10-2010, 05:28 PM   #4
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Yes, i felt like the biggest jerk, and felt like crap for a few days. But that feeling goes away once you get back out there. Unfortunately the talk has to be to the point, and just build her up saying she is great but your just too busy with alot of things right now and stresses that you just need to focus on and you can't focus on her right now. You gotta lie alittle or you will feel even more like crap. But make sure you cut off all communications after that talk.
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Old 05-10-2010, 05:40 PM   #5
ara
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it's hard, i just finished school so i have more time to deal with stuff, but at 26 maybe i'm still too young to get involved seriously with someone. It's just not there, and there is no way one can say i'm not in love with you or don't like you as much, so i have to find another way.

so far in short, this is what i've told her.

there is something missing, the spark isn't there, i'm just not feeling it anymore.

but she's holding on for dear life, which kinda influences me too
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Old 05-10-2010, 05:43 PM   #6
Ant Anthem
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it's hard, i just finished school so i have more time to deal with stuff, but at 26 maybe i'm still too young to get involved seriously with someone. It's just not there, and there is no way one can say i'm not in love with you or don't like you as much, so i have to find another way.

so far in short, this is what i've told her.

there is something missing, the spark isn't there, i'm just not feeling it anymore.

but she's holding on for dear life, which kinda influences me too
Your 26 dude, grow some balls and just break up. You asked for advice, your breaking up with someone, trust me, its impossible to break up in a nice way. Just tell her the truth, and the rest is history. You will feel so much better after.
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Old 05-10-2010, 05:55 PM   #7
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Depends. If you were in love with the person but it isn't as exciting anymore, that is fine and normal. If you are just not feeling the love in general and never have, then don't force it. I spent many years of my life with the wrong women waiting for something that would never have happened just because they were nice and loved me and I thought at the time that I loved them. I was wrong. You can care for a person a lot without being in love with them. Recognize the difference. Save yourself a lot of time.
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Old 05-10-2010, 06:00 PM   #8
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wise words, thanks

i was not and am not in love with her, i like her, that's all, we made it "official" in December, but were hanging out for a few months before hand.
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Old 05-11-2010, 02:03 PM   #9
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we went out last night, and talked a bit, i just told her i need to make up my mind and decide what's right for ME, even though i care for her.

I sent her an email a few hours ago, explaining my decision to end it, and i hope she does ok. kinda sucks, i'll see in a while if i made the right or wrong choice, but i think and believe it was the right choice.
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Old 05-11-2010, 04:55 PM   #10
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OMG email breakup at age 26

buuuuuurn
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Old 05-11-2010, 06:13 PM   #11
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its the new bike, thats your new g/f...lol

but seriously, you did the right thing by ending it.....email wasn't best option though. but at least you're not leading her on
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Old 05-11-2010, 06:20 PM   #12
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you gotta be joking. i am 19 and i got more balls then you. a ****ing EMAIL? i hope somebody tells you some serious **** in an email at some point so you can get a taste for it. face to face intereactions are more than just the words coming out of you mouth numbnuts.
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Old 05-11-2010, 07:00 PM   #13
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could have atleast seen how far she's willing to "go" to make it work out.....damn, talk about missed opportunities here
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Old 05-11-2010, 07:32 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by mvrk10256 View Post
you gotta be joking. i am 19 and i got more balls then you. a ****ing EMAIL? i hope somebody tells you some serious **** in an email at some point so you can get a taste for it. face to face intereactions are more than just the words coming out of you mouth numbnuts.
calm down captain saver.....they already had a face to face talk about it, so it wasn't totally unexpected
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Old 05-11-2010, 07:40 PM   #15
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could have atleast seen how far she's willing to "go" to make it work out.....damn, talk about missed opportunities here
I like the way you think.
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Old 05-11-2010, 09:26 PM   #16
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meh, I had this girl that would give blow jobs every time the wind shifted direction....at the end of the day, it just made me feel worse since I wasn't feeling her and she was obviously putting so much into it.....it wasn't a pleasant break-up
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Old 05-12-2010, 12:10 AM   #17
ara
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i'm officially single, and i had the face to face, the email was just to clarify my position and for her to read it while not face to face with me, when we're talking face to face she's emotional. And she thanked me for the email and for being honest. We'll probably remain friends, but not now, i'm on good terms with most of my exes

i think this is my first summer being single since being 16 years old

no school, no g/f, just work, my bike, and summer.

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Old 05-12-2010, 01:44 PM   #18
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i'm officially single, and i had the face to face, the email was just to clarify my position and for her to read it while not face to face with me, when we're talking face to face she's emotional. And she thanked me for the email and for being honest. We'll probably remain friends, but not now, i'm on good terms with most of my exes

i think this is my first summer being single since being 16 years old

no school, no g/f, just work, my bike, and summer.

you did the right thing. If you're not feeling it there's nothing you can do.
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Old 05-12-2010, 05:30 PM   #19
ara
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4 girls coming over tonight to watch hockey game, then we're going clubbing tonight and tomorrow, and i'm the only guy
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Old 05-13-2010, 02:06 AM   #20
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another reason to be happy tonight then: HABS in 7!!!! let the good times roll
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