E46 BMW Social Directory E46 FAQ 3-Series Discussion Forums BMW Photo Gallery BMW 3-Series Technical Information E46 Fanatics - The Ultimate BMW Resource BMW Vendors General E46 Forum The Tire Rack's Tire Wheel Forum Forced Induction Forum The Off-Topic The E46 BMW Showroom For Sale, For Trade or Wanting to Buy

Welcome to the E46Fanatics forums. E46Fanatics is the premiere website for BMW 3 series owners around the world with interactive forums, a geographical enthusiast directory, photo galleries, and technical information for BMW enthusiasts.

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact contact us.

Go Back   E46Fanatics > Everything Else > The Off-Topic > Love Line

Love Line

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 05-31-2010, 01:40 PM   #1
DGBMW11
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Florida
Posts: 137
My Ride: 2003 325i
Send a message via AIM to DGBMW11 Send a message via MSN to DGBMW11
Need advice

I know this is a long story but I seriously need help and all my friends have preconceived notions of the situation so I cant talk to them.


Ok so my freshman year of college (Fall 2008) I met a girl from NJ and we hit it off so good, like creepy good. We started dating and got very close I even went up to her hometown to visit during the Christmas break. It was awesome and we got so much closer, her family loved me and it was a good experience. Anyway, around march of 09 she started to get into the Sorority stuff at school and we saw less of each other. I was in the middle of baseball season so we had limited time together anyway and we drifted further apart.

So, all the sketchy people associated with Greek life started to get to me and we mutually broke up before summer break (Mid April 09). It was hard but I eventually got back on my feet and was enjoying my summer, it was easier since she was 1,000 miles away. In Mid June I was invited to play in Cape Cod for a couple weeks on a tryout and I was planning on driving up there. About that time she called me for the first time since classes ended and I told here where I was going. She insisted that I went and saw her when I was done with the league. Well I tore my rotator cuff so the league was cut short for me, and the guy I took the road trip with (his car) was staying for another month so I had to fly home. I decided to fly out of NJ so I could take a trip to see her (public transport in the NE is wayyyy better than in Florida btw) I had to navigate the NY subway system to get on a train to NJ which is no small feat for a Florida boy. Anyway I stayed with her a couple days and everything was awesome. We got back together and just had a long distance relationship until the next school year.

Well when school started again (August 09) we were together for a couple weeks until the sorority thing ruined our relationship again, I was busy rehabbing from my surgery and she couldn't find the time to spend with me during that hard time. We broke up but stayed kinda close until January when she said we should move on and see other people so I started dating a girl in February and we didn't talk after that. Before the semester ended we saw each other between classes one day and hung out that night and decided we needed to be together again but since it was the end of the semester (April '10) she thought it would be better to wait until next year to do it. I still have the girlfriend but the NJ girl keeps talking about life after college and marriage and things like that, I don't know if I should ruin a decent relationship to go back to someone I actually love but has screwed me over before. She says she know what she wants now and knows what she lost, she wont do it again blah blah.

Soo what say you? Should I give it a shot or stay with what I have. I do have all summer to make a decision though.

In b4 "she just wants to sleep with other guys" shes not a slvt
__________________
DGBMW11 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-31-2010, 01:55 PM   #2
undercover foO
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Bay Area, CA
Posts: 112
My Ride: 03 C230 Coupe
Quote:
Originally Posted by DGBMW11 View Post
I know this is a long story but I seriously need help and all my friends have preconceived notions of the situation so I cant talk to them.


Ok so my freshman year of college (Fall 2008) I met a girl from NJ and we hit it off so good, like creepy good. We started dating and got very close I even went up to her hometown to visit during the Christmas break. It was awesome and we got so much closer, her family loved me and it was a good experience. Anyway, around march of 09 she started to get into the Sorority stuff at school and we saw less of each other. I was in the middle of baseball season so we had limited time together anyway and we drifted further apart.

So, all the sketchy people associated with Greek life started to get to me and we mutually broke up before summer break (Mid April 09). It was hard but I eventually got back on my feet and was enjoying my summer, it was easier since she was 1,000 miles away. In Mid June I was invited to play in Cape Cod for a couple weeks on a tryout and I was planning on driving up there. About that time she called me for the first time since classes ended and I told here where I was going. She insisted that I went and saw her when I was done with the league. Well I tore my rotator cuff so the league was cut short for me, and the guy I took the road trip with (his car) was staying for another month so I had to fly home. I decided to fly out of NJ so I could take a trip to see her (public transport in the NE is wayyyy better than in Florida btw) I had to navigate the NY subway system to get on a train to NJ which is no small feat for a Florida boy. Anyway I stayed with her a couple days and everything was awesome. We got back together and just had a long distance relationship until the next school year.

Well when school started again (August 09) we were together for a couple weeks until the sorority thing ruined our relationship again, I was busy rehabbing from my surgery and she couldn't find the time to spend with me during that hard time. We broke up but stayed kinda close until January when she said we should move on and see other people so I started dating a girl in February and we didn't talk after that. Before the semester ended we saw each other between classes one day and hung out that night and decided we needed to be together again but since it was the end of the semester (April '10) she thought it would be better to wait until next year to do it. I still have the girlfriend but the NJ girl keeps talking about life after college and marriage and things like that, I don't know if I should ruin a decent relationship to go back to someone I actually love but has screwed me over before. She says she know what she wants now and knows what she lost, she wont do it again blah blah.

Soo what say you? Should I give it a shot or stay with what I have. I do have all summer to make a decision though.

In b4 "she just wants to sleep with other guys" shes not a slvt
So, how do you feel about the girl you're with right now if the NJ girl is the one you actually love? Do you see a future with her, or are you with her just to have someone there?

Something to think about I guess.
__________________
undercover foO is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-31-2010, 10:27 PM   #3
CMT247
Registered User
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: seattle
Posts: 74
My Ride: 07 VW GTI
lot of back and forth man. So she wants to start back up again basically next school year? Is she still going to be part of the sorority again? Probably best to move on man, you 2 have been through a lot and it has never worked out. Just because she is in a sorority, doesn't give her the excuse to be some flaky drama queen. I know plenty of sorority girls who DON'T get caught up in the whole scene. Find someone with a good head on their shoulders.
CMT247 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-31-2010, 10:33 PM   #4
DGBMW11
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Florida
Posts: 137
My Ride: 2003 325i
Send a message via AIM to DGBMW11 Send a message via MSN to DGBMW11
Quote:
Originally Posted by CMT247 View Post
lot of back and forth man. So she wants to start back up again basically next school year? Is she still going to be part of the sorority again? Probably best to move on man, you 2 have been through a lot and it has never worked out. Just because she is in a sorority, doesn't give her the excuse to be some flaky drama queen. I know plenty of sorority girls who DON'T get caught up in the whole scene. Find someone with a good head on their shoulders.
She is going to still be a part of it but I guess shes learned to keep it separate from her normal relationships but idk. It really easy to tell someone deep things like she does over the phone, way harder in person and when they're in the situation.
Problem is I have moved on, I think, and she keeps coming back into the picture. But I totally agree, it is not an excuse at all.
__________________
DGBMW11 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-31-2010, 10:56 PM   #5
N89
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: United States
Posts: 4,342
My Ride: 330Ci
Basically she wants to do what she wants to do and still have you in her back pocket when she's ready to finally commit, dumb, if it didn't work the last two times it won't work the third, you might be more in love with the idea than the girl, move on.

aka she wants to have her cake and eat it too @ your expense.

Last edited by N89; 05-31-2010 at 10:59 PM.
N89 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-01-2010, 04:00 AM   #6
mcr_driver
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: los angeles
Posts: 27,308
My Ride: my favorite two feet
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nineteen89 View Post
Basically she wants to do what she wants to do and still have you in her back pocket when she's ready to finally commit, dumb, if it didn't work the last two times it won't work the third, you might be more in love with the idea than the girl, move on.

aka she wants to have her cake and eat it too @ your expense.
this ^ don't be her back up cus at that point she has your balls in a cup on her mantle...
__________________
http://img164.imageshack.us/my.php?image=ken10hm2.jpg
mcr_driver is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-01-2010, 09:50 AM   #7
DylloS
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: NY
Posts: 672
My Ride: nothing
I'd wait until she's out of school.
DylloS is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-01-2010, 10:16 AM   #8
AfghanScarface
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Moreno Valley CA
Posts: 2,349
My Ride: Debadged M3
Send a message via AIM to AfghanScarface
Quote:
Originally Posted by DylloS View Post
I'd wait until she's out of school.
+1, her "entourage" is fvcking sh1t up for you.

Also, you didn't seem to mention much about the girl you're currently with. How do you see her in comparison the girl you're trying to get at now? From what you describe it seems like the outcome of this situation would be something like you drop the current girl to get with this chick and the same thing happens again but for different reasons this time. I mean honestly if it didn't work out the first couple of times, what makes you so convinced it will work this time? You guys will still have to be a LDR, which will only increase the emotional strain on an already fragile relationship and just screw you over down the line. From what you say it really does sound like shes got feelings for you but she doesn't really know what she wants.

Like Led Zeppelin says, you need to find out which of these two girls is the "feather in the wind" and stop going after/trying to be with that one.
__________________



Quote:
Originally Posted by Bimmer4Lyfe View Post
Either pursue her and risk getting Mono, or don't pursue her,...stay home and use your Mano.

It's either Mono or Mano .... You decide
AfghanScarface is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-01-2010, 07:32 PM   #9
DGBMW11
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Florida
Posts: 137
My Ride: 2003 325i
Send a message via AIM to DGBMW11 Send a message via MSN to DGBMW11
Quote:
Originally Posted by AfghanScarface View Post
+1, her "entourage" is fvcking sh1t up for you.

Also, you didn't seem to mention much about the girl you're currently with. How do you see her in comparison the girl you're trying to get at now? From what you describe it seems like the outcome of this situation would be something like you drop the current girl to get with this chick and the same thing happens again but for different reasons this time. I mean honestly if it didn't work out the first couple of times, what makes you so convinced it will work this time? You guys will still have to be a LDR, which will only increase the emotional strain on an already fragile relationship and just screw you over down the line. From what you say it really does sound like shes got feelings for you but she doesn't really know what she wants.

Like Led Zeppelin says, you need to find out which of these two girls is the "feather in the wind" and stop going after/trying to be with that one.
Yea, if i did get back with her I would have to dump my current gf, but we wouldnt be back together until the end of summer anyway. It wouldn't really be a LDR once she got back, just different breaks and stuff from school would be long distance.
And I'm not convinced at all, she says she will prove it... idk we'll see. And the Zepplelin quote is perfect, I have to figure all this stuff out.
I really appreciate the input guys, everyone is making a lot of good points.

By the way, my current girlfriend is crazy for me which would make all this harder because shes done nothing to deserve any of this. But I just cant shake the thought of liking somebody more than my gf, no relationship can grow like that.
__________________
DGBMW11 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-02-2010, 05:59 AM   #10
Gaz_jones
Registered User
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Milton Keynes, UK
Posts: 43
My Ride: 330Ci Clubsport
The same thing will happen again man. She's done it twice already without learning her mistakes so why do you think this time will be any different?

I know it's hard to move on from one you love, but you'll end up scrwing yourself up if you cant get over her.
Gaz_jones is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-02-2010, 09:34 AM   #11
DGBMW11
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Florida
Posts: 137
My Ride: 2003 325i
Send a message via AIM to DGBMW11 Send a message via MSN to DGBMW11
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gaz_jones View Post
The same thing will happen again man. She's done it twice already without learning her mistakes so why do you think this time will be any different?

I know it's hard to move on from one you love, but you'll end up scrwing yourself up if you cant get over her.
I agree man, but she says shes learned. Idk. Ill just have to see how she acts the next couple months apart. Btw Ive got a friend who lives in MK, nice place.
__________________
DGBMW11 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Censor is ON





All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:13 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
(c) 1999 - 2011 performanceIX Inc - privacy policy - terms of use