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Old 06-08-2010, 09:13 AM   #1
HellFish
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getting back with gf after six months

Me and my girlfriend were together for four years and have been broken up for six months. I know this is insecure of me but i cant help it. I wonder if she had sex with anyone else. I asked her and she would not say no but implied that she would not have sex with someone that was not her boyfriend, and said she didnt ever have one (she did not say it as clearly as that)

I guess i wont know but i guess i am looking for a way to deal with it. Please spare me the insensitive comments....
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Old 06-08-2010, 09:43 AM   #2
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Don't ask, you don't want to know. If you love her, forget about it.

If she says yes... does that really change anything besides making you upset about it?
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Old 06-08-2010, 09:46 AM   #3
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She's had sex guaranteed. It's just too easy for women to get it. Just to be safe, wear a condom. If she caught VD it may not show up for up to a year.
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Old 06-08-2010, 09:56 AM   #4
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she did. u know she did. if it bothers u, dont ask, but i think it will eventually come up.
she will be a lil different girls constantly change and these changes bring questions.

i did the same thing, but we had split for a year.
we"re back together and i think better than before.
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Old 06-08-2010, 10:27 AM   #5
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she did. u know she did. if it bothers u, dont ask, but i think it will eventually come up.
she will be a lil different girls constantly change and these changes bring questions.

i did the same thing, but we had split for a year.
we"re back together and i think better than before.
How did you deal with it?
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Old 06-08-2010, 10:35 AM   #6
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she was like why do i care, well i wanted to know how i compare to the douchebag. so we talked about it, some things got me a lil upset, some questions got her upset. she was just baffled that i wanted to know so much. maybe im weird like that.

i got comfortable and felt i was still the man, maybe she made me feel that way, i dont know, shes a different girl than she was before we split. but i like the new her so its cool.

Eventually she got tired of talking about him and me bringing it up. that led to a lil fuss, but we're both over it... we communicate better than we did before the split. I think we both grew and learned from it.

More than anything u have to learn to trust her again, if u felt betrayed in the break up, or vice versa, and the weird feelings go away with time, its not an overnight process, but the sooner both of u accept that the past is the past, and communicate effectively and openly, the better.

trust that, GL.

oh, some people will say ex's are ex for a reason, just remember, we rarely get 2nd chances at great things in life, so if u two feel like it was great and worth trying again, fuk what the haters say, because only the two of u know what the two of u went through
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Old 06-09-2010, 10:34 AM   #7
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Can't undo it. What difference will it make. Assume she did and move on.
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Old 06-09-2010, 01:44 PM   #8
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that would bother me if she did, but if it were me i wouldn't want to get back together, and would tell her i wouldn't want a relationship and i'd sleep with her a couple times and move on
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Old 06-09-2010, 03:37 PM   #9
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What I learned in past relationships, everyone deserves a second chance. What I learned from giving my ex a second chance. Don't ask any questions because it doesn't matter what she did in the past, just be happy you guys are back together. If you do that, she will love you more, and she'll give you the best sex ever, trust me!

And I don't mean to mess with your head (even more), but when I got back with my ex, the first thing that went through my mind, I know she got f#cked, because there are not a lot of women that can last more than 3 mos., yet alone 6mos. without having sex. Since she will not admit it, nor do I want to ask, I'm just going to f3ck her even harder now.
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Old 06-10-2010, 10:12 AM   #10
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I completely disagree. Once you break up, never go back. I wasted a lot of time getting back with girls that I should have been done with the first time. That is one lesson my wife and I definitely agree on and will pass on to our kids.
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Old 06-10-2010, 10:17 AM   #11
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^
I completely disagree. Once you break up, never go back. I wasted a lot of time getting back with girls that I should have been done with the first time. That is one lesson my wife and I definitely agree on and will pass on to our kids.
thats the problem, if they wernt worth it in the 1st place why would u give them a second chance.
Now if they were worth it the 1st time, i bet youd sing a different tune.
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Old 06-10-2010, 10:58 AM   #12
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thats the problem, if they wernt worth it in the 1st place why would u give them a second chance.
Now if they were worth it the 1st time, i bet youd sing a different tune.
If you broke up with them the first time, you obviously thought they weren't worth seeing. Ya dig? Meh, maybe just a different point of view...I always found it to be a waste of time getting back together (after I broke up the second time) with someone who wasn't working out the first go 'round.

My wife and I never broke up, thankfully
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Old 06-10-2010, 11:09 AM   #13
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If you broke up with them the first time, you obviously thought they weren't worth seeing. Ya dig? Meh, maybe just a different point of view...I always found it to be a waste of time getting back together (after I broke up the second time) with someone who wasn't working out the first go 'round.

My wife and I never broke up, thankfully
there is a 1st time for everything.
sometimes circumstances cause things. then when these things change, a different view is seen, and people learn from there mistakes, and become better people.

But yeah, some people just look at it differently.
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Old 06-10-2010, 11:16 AM   #14
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Well after reading some good advice here, what do you plan to do OP?
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Old 06-10-2010, 11:51 AM   #15
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^
I completely disagree. Once you break up, never go back. I wasted a lot of time getting back with girls that I should have been done with the first time. That is one lesson my wife and I definitely agree on and will pass on to our kids.


there is a reason you broke up in the first place.... 6 months of thinking about it + loneliness = skewed opinion... possible bad decision making

very seldom do people change, therefore chances of it actually working out in the long run are slim to none... possible, but not probable



as far as the sex thing...... honestly...... not to be insensitive but be a man and stop being a pvssy..... if she had sex, so what... why, you didn't have sex? if not, what about before you even met her? i know what it is like thinking about it.. i spent my teenage years thinking about it and when i hit 20, i realized it just isn't anything to worry about, since you can't change the past

I'm not trying to sound cocky, but thinking/worrying about it will KILL you on the inside... good luck trying to fix a relationship when your mind is creating a vendetta against her, trust me.. if it continues to bother you, that will happen

You need to look inside and come to terms with yourself... does it really honestly/truly matter? can you learn (eventually) to not give a shiit? if so... then good for you, man up an get this relationship back on the right track

if you can't let it go (understandable...) then you need to call the quits right now, becuase you will never let it down and it will eat you from the inside out

Good luck man, you definitely have some serious thinking to do
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Old 06-10-2010, 02:03 PM   #16
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She's had sex guaranteed. It's just too easy for women to get it. Just to be safe, wear a condom. If she caught VD it may not show up for up to a year.

Bingo. Bag it man, just be safe.
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Old 06-10-2010, 02:07 PM   #17
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Of course she did, but either way, you guys were apart, who cares wtf she did. U can't do sh!t about it now, and she probly won't tell you unless you either

a) break up again or
b) get her drunk and on a guilt trip about not telling you the truth

Just make sure she's clean (get tested, if she's forreal she'll do it) Simple fix...oh and u have to GET OVER IT or this will not work out
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Old 06-10-2010, 02:40 PM   #18
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I have some time to think about it. She is going to be gone for four of the next 6 weeks so we are going to take it slow when she gets back. It still really bothers me to think about her being with someone else - but not to the extent it did when we first broke up. I think it is something I can live with. Either way - I have 6 weeks. We had dinner and she talked a big game about how much she has matured since we broke up (She's 21, I just turned 25). I am curious to see if she backs up her talk with action or not. Time will tell. I guess the title was a little misleading by stating we are getting back together. It is tentative at this point.
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Old 06-10-2010, 02:49 PM   #19
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I have some time to think about it. She is going to be gone for four of the next 6 weeks so we are going to take it slow when she gets back. It still really bothers me to think about her being with someone else - but not to the extent it did when we first broke up. I think it is something I can live with. Either way - I have 6 weeks. We had dinner and she talked a big game about how much she has matured since we broke up (She's 21, I just turned 25). I am curious to see if she backs up her talk with action or not. Time will tell. I guess the title was a little misleading by stating we are getting back together. It is tentative at this point.
I will give you a very valuable piece of advice... you are 25 and you seem to be mature...

date someone older than you.... please, do it.... just try it out, and see if you have a different aspect in what pleases you


relationships shouldn't cause a knot in your stomach, under any circumstances

I can tell you right now.. her being 21... she is still going to want to go out and be a girl with her girls and flirt, etc etc etc.... maybe she doens't know it yet, but she might not be ready for a relationship (take this paragraph as a general statement, i have no clue what she is like, just trying to make a hypothetical statement)

i'm 26... few years ago, i broke up with my gf... both 23 at the time... started dating a 27 year olf for a few months, then dated a 30 year old... who is still my gf... 32 now

dude... SO MUCH BETTER... no drama, none of those "is she cheating" feelings, so chill, friendly, mature, doesn't give a fvck about anything, trusting, no drama... etc etc etc

i know what you've been through, been there done that.... 21 years olds for me are good for a hit it and quit it night... thats all (no offense)

but stay away from that drama man... it'll drown you
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Old 06-10-2010, 03:15 PM   #20
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I will give you a very valuable piece of advice... you are 25 and you seem to be mature...

date someone older than you.... please, do it.... just try it out, and see if you have a different aspect in what pleases you


relationships shouldn't cause a knot in your stomach, under any circumstances

I can tell you right now.. her being 21... she is still going to want to go out and be a girl with her girls and flirt, etc etc etc.... maybe she doens't know it yet, but she might not be ready for a relationship (take this paragraph as a general statement, i have no clue what she is like, just trying to make a hypothetical statement)

i'm 26... few years ago, i broke up with my gf... both 23 at the time... started dating a 27 year olf for a few months, then dated a 30 year old... who is still my gf... 32 now

dude... SO MUCH BETTER... no drama, none of those "is she cheating" feelings, so chill, friendly, mature, doesn't give a fvck about anything, trusting, no drama... etc etc etc

i know what you've been through, been there done that.... 21 years olds for me are good for a hit it and quit it night... thats all (no offense)

but stay away from that drama man... it'll drown you
I actually know exactly what you are talking about.

I met a girl about a month ago that is 32. We hooked up for 2 days thinking it was just going to be a "2 night" stand but have talked every day sense. There is a real connection there - but she moved to Florida. No way the long distance thing would work but the maturity just radiates from her. It is incredible the difference. We talked about our situation and both agreed that long distance wouldn't be a good idea - and i disclosed to her that I wasn't over my last relationship. It is pretty much a no strings attached agreement right now, but I am gaining valuable experience as to what its like being in a health, mature, "quasi" relationship with her.

Intellectually I agree with everything you are saying. But emotionally, itt is just hard to let the old one go as we dated for like 4 years. (Even though we've been broken up for 6 months or so).
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