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Old 06-10-2010, 03:25 PM   #21
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I completely disagree. Once you break up, never go back. I wasted a lot of time getting back with girls that I should have been done with the first time. That is one lesson my wife and I definitely agree on and will pass on to our kids.
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If you broke up with them the first time, you obviously thought they weren't worth seeing. Ya dig? Meh, maybe just a different point of view...I always found it to be a waste of time getting back together (after I broke up the second time) with someone who wasn't working out the first go 'round.

My wife and I never broke up, thankfully
other than Jesus, we seem to agree on everything

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I will give you a very valuable piece of advice... you are 25 and you seem to be mature...

date someone older than you.... please, do it.... just try it out, and see if you have a different aspect in what pleases you


relationships shouldn't cause a knot in your stomach, under any circumstances

I can tell you right now.. her being 21... she is still going to want to go out and be a girl with her girls and flirt, etc etc etc.... maybe she doens't know it yet, but she might not be ready for a relationship (take this paragraph as a general statement, i have no clue what she is like, just trying to make a hypothetical statement)

i'm 26... few years ago, i broke up with my gf... both 23 at the time... started dating a 27 year olf for a few months, then dated a 30 year old... who is still my gf... 32 now

dude... SO MUCH BETTER... no drama, none of those "is she cheating" feelings, so chill, friendly, mature, doesn't give a fvck about anything, trusting, no drama... etc etc etc

i know what you've been through, been there done that.... 21 years olds for me are good for a hit it and quit it night... thats all (no offense)

but stay away from that drama man... it'll drown you
Most guys will not be able to find an older chick like that. I know I couldn't haha.
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Old 06-10-2010, 03:27 PM   #22
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I completely disagree. Once you break up, never go back. I wasted a lot of time getting back with girls that I should have been done with the first time. That is one lesson my wife and I definitely agree on and will pass on to our kids.
I agree. I believe the breakup was for a reason in the first place. Never go back. Doesnt matter if you still love her. In time, it will go away. Its better not knowing what she did in the past; however it will always be at the back of your mind if you get back together with her. There will be more tension now than before because of false expectations.
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Old 06-10-2010, 05:01 PM   #23
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other than Jesus, we seem to agree on everything.
Haha, that's true....annnnnnndddd is now living in my sig.
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Old 06-10-2010, 05:09 PM   #24
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I actually know exactly what you are talking about.


Intellectually I agree with everything you are saying. But emotionally, itt is just hard to let the old one go as we dated for like 4 years. (Even though we've been broken up for 6 months or so).
coming from the guy that's done/doing what youre asking, and everyone says u shouldnt, that statement is the answer to your question. so move on.
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Old 06-10-2010, 07:17 PM   #25
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Most guys will not be able to find an older chick like that. I know I couldn't haha.
lol who are you kidding.... don't you remember how big n'sync was way back when... you'll remind them of 9th grade, they'll LOVE IT

its called regression... take advantage of it sweetheart
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Old 06-10-2010, 07:26 PM   #26
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I actually know exactly what you are talking about.

I met a girl about a month ago that is 32. We hooked up for 2 days thinking it was just going to be a "2 night" stand but have talked every day sense. There is a real connection there - but she moved to Florida. No way the long distance thing would work but the maturity just radiates from her. It is incredible the difference. We talked about our situation and both agreed that long distance wouldn't be a good idea - and i disclosed to her that I wasn't over my last relationship. It is pretty much a no strings attached agreement right now, but I am gaining valuable experience as to what its like being in a health, mature, "quasi" relationship with her.

Intellectually I agree with everything you are saying. But emotionally, itt is just hard to let the old one go as we dated for like 4 years. (Even though we've been broken up for 6 months or so).
i hear ya dude.. trust me.. been there done that with a couple girlfriends

it definitely sucks but the one thing i have learned from all of them... you have to stand your ground and not give in... because its cyclical... feels great one week, then ugh the next, then great, then not, then awesome, then worse, then worst..... etc

you just have to realize that for whatever the actual reason was that you guys broke up (after all this heartache and time, can you really single out why you guys broke up?).... you need to remind yourself, "at the time, we didn't belong together, and history repeats itself..." that alone should keep you confident enough to try to push through and move on

now...

as for dating.. have you dated anyone else? don't let anyone give you the rebound bullshit... get out there and date... i think i made a thread about it a year or so back, some good pointers (and uplifting energetic info) on how to date, what to look forward to, what not to worry about, and a whole slew of bullshit from my fvcked up head

if you want to try to work things out with the current one... i'll tell you one thing, and try to stick to it.... i'm not trying to be negative, however you need to watch YOUR BACK day in and day out

treat every day as a new one, and don't look into anything... you guys are bound to have a really romantic "perfect" night (or several)... you are bound to argue, you are bound to get physical/sexual, and so forth... you gotta take it as it comes, and let it go come next morning...

is it hard to do? yes... does it suck? kinda, but you get used to it... and the end of the road, you need to protect yourself and keep your guard up... because if 6 months rolls around the corner and everything is great, and then she says "nope, sorry bye bye..." you are going to want to put a 45 in your mouth.... so i say again, keep your guard up, and regardless how good things get, try to look at the whole picture and keep you cool... still be you, do what you want, when you want, and you'll be straight... if things don't work out, hopefully you'll still have the "fvck it" attitude, if things do work out, then good for you for putting the time in... hopefully it pays off


as far as the 32 year old... ya man, nothing but a learning experience... makes you look at relationships a completely different way

good luck in anything that you decide to do... any questions, hit me up any time

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Old 06-10-2010, 08:08 PM   #27
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i hear ya dude.. trust me.. been there done that with a couple girlfriends

it definitely sucks but the one thing i have learned from all of them... you have to stand your ground and not give in... because its cyclical... feels great one week, then ugh the next, then great, then not, then awesome, then worse, then worst..... etc

you just have to realize that for whatever the actual reason was that you guys broke up (after all this heartache and time, can you really single out why you guys broke up?).... you need to remind yourself, "at the time, we didn't belong together, and history repeats itself..." that alone should keep you confident enough to try to push through and move on

now...

as for dating.. have you dated anyone else? don't let anyone give you the rebound bullshit... get out there and date... i think i made a thread about it a year or so back, some good pointers (and uplifting energetic info) on how to date, what to look forward to, what not to worry about, and a whole slew of bullshit from my fvcked up head

if you want to try to work things out with the current one... i'll tell you one thing, and try to stick to it.... i'm not trying to be negative, however you need to watch YOUR BACK day in and day out

treat every day as a new one, and don't look into anything... you guys are bound to have a really romantic "perfect" night (or several)... you are bound to argue, you are bound to get physical/sexual, and so forth... you gotta take it as it comes, and let it go come next morning...

is it hard to do? yes... does it suck? kinda, but you get used to it... and the end of the road, you need to protect yourself and keep your guard up... because if 6 months rolls around the corner and everything is great, and then she says "nope, sorry bye bye..." you are going to want to put a 45 in your mouth.... so i say again, keep your guard up, and regardless how good things get, try to look at the whole picture and keep you cool... still be you, do what you want, when you want, and you'll be straight... if things don't work out, hopefully you'll still have the "fvck it" attitude, if things do work out, then good for you for putting the time in... hopefully it pays off


as far as the 32 year old... ya man, nothing but a learning experience... makes you look at relationships a completely different way

good luck in anything that you decide to do... any questions, hit me up any time

Great stuff - Really appreciate it.
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Old 06-11-2010, 12:24 AM   #28
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no prob man
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Old 06-11-2010, 01:01 AM   #29
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it is no different than if she dated someone before you
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Old 06-11-2010, 04:58 AM   #30
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i only read the first post, but tell her to get tested or it's over.
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Old 06-11-2010, 08:31 AM   #31
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Haha, that's true....annnnnnndddd is now living in my sig.
hahaha that's hilarious

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lol who are you kidding.... don't you remember how big n'sync was way back when... you'll remind them of 9th grade, they'll LOVE IT

its called regression... take advantage of it sweetheart
Dude, I don't think I mentioned it on this forum but my gf was a hugeee Lance fan back in the day. And the ex before her too. I've been milking this sh1t since 99'. People can call me Lance all they want haha.
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Old 06-11-2010, 08:38 AM   #32
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(She's 21, I just turned 25)
so let me do this math thingy...u were together 4 years apart 6 months...

when u started dating she was 16 or 17 u were 20 or 21

jailbait much?!!? A lot of times chicks can't let go of their "1st love" when you tie them down that young. You might be setting yourself up for failure.


PS: If she's only 21 she def banged the sh!t outta some yung dudes during your little hiatus from one another

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Old 06-12-2010, 10:56 AM   #33
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I wish I had gotten such great advice when I was with my girl before I left the States... I remember asking her questions about guys she slept with while we dated. Yes, *****, but I feel in love with her and tried to look passed that... after we broke up and split, I thought of our past and I did realize that if she would have said yes to the question: did you fvck with this guy etc. I would still be pissed but it wouldn't have changed how I feel about her, maybe a little. But this constant asking has lead to several arguments. So you need to be sure if you want her back. If you do, find a way to deal with it, assuming she did fck with guys.

gl man! And again, great advice guys!
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Old 06-14-2010, 01:41 PM   #34
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so let me do this math thingy...u were together 4 years apart 6 months...

when u started dating she was 16 or 17 u were 20 or 21

jailbait much?!!? A lot of times chicks can't let go of their "1st love" when you tie them down that young. You might be setting yourself up for failure.


PS: If she's only 21 she def banged the sh!t outta some yung dudes during your little hiatus from one another
Dude stop bring a prick.
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Old 06-14-2010, 01:52 PM   #35
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Dude stop bring a prick.
say what? u want some prick now?
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Old 06-19-2010, 03:59 AM   #36
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Dude stop bring a prick.
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Old 06-25-2010, 04:40 PM   #37
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I completely disagree. Once you break up, never go back. I wasted a lot of time getting back with girls that I should have been done with the first time. That is one lesson my wife and I definitely agree on and will pass on to our kids.
I hear ya bro but some times we need to take a break from relationships (so we don't feel trap), especially when you're young, still going to school. That was our case back then. And after few months we realized it wasn't that fun to be away from each other...so we gave it a second chance.

However, we broke up 4mos later - in good terms. On her end, she told me she enjoyed the freedom of dating (which basically means f#cking) different guys. I said, ok...have fun!

The best part of the story (to me), few mos. down the road, she called me. She said, "you know I like girls as well...care to join us for some fun."
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Old 08-30-2010, 04:12 PM   #38
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she was like why do i care, well i wanted to know how i compare to the douchebag. so we talked about it, some things got me a lil upset, some questions got her upset. she was just baffled that i wanted to know so much. maybe im weird like that.

i got comfortable and felt i was still the man, maybe she made me feel that way, i dont know, shes a different girl than she was before we split. but i like the new her so its cool.

Eventually she got tired of talking about him and me bringing it up. that led to a lil fuss, but we're both over it... we communicate better than we did before the split. I think we both grew and learned from it.

More than anything u have to learn to trust her again, if u felt betrayed in the break up, or vice versa, and the weird feelings go away with time, its not an overnight process, but the sooner both of u accept that the past is the past, and communicate effectively and openly, the better.

trust that, GL.

oh, some people will say ex's are ex for a reason, just remember, we rarely get 2nd chances at great things in life, so if u two feel like it was great and worth trying again, fuk what the haters say, because only the two of u know what the two of u went through
qft.


there are two schools of thought. The "exs are exes for a reason, the behavior is cyclical" is based on the fact people don't change.

I'm currently barring witness to my roomie and his girl going through all this, and I can tell you right now they both have changed.

If its meant to be its mean to be..getting back together is no harm no foul. My gf and I split up last year for a few months, got back together and are better than ever.

It all comes down to communication.




Listen to russo though..I dated a 28 year old for a while during my breakup...a GREAT learning experience.
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Old 08-30-2010, 05:51 PM   #39
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Ya me and the ex have still not gotten back together. I dated a 32 year old for a while and absolutely loved it - right up until she ended it a few weeks ago. I might go into why later but I am baffled at her reasons. I thought she adored me. File that one away in the "live and learn" folder.
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