need some advice.... Dating a friends sister

Ok... this is the deal... I have this friend that i have known for quite sometime... id say about 6-7yrs...actually known him a little longer but didnt hang out as much... well i met his older sister about 3yrs ago, while i helped them move. ever since then me and his sister when we talk, its like we are in a relationship but not really.. and he is always teasing me "have u hit it" "go get it" now he has known me long enough that im not a player, and that im the type a guy that would preffer a relationship then a **** buddy.... so me and the sister kind of like talked but nothing serious... so i let it slip... she started to date this guy that used to work with me and her brother.... but for a little while... now i wouldnt say that him and her brother were friends like me and him... but they were... and he was fine with it... well she really didnt like the kid... so to end they broke up... so lately me and her started to tlk again and she invites me over and cooks dinner.. we always joke around about being in a relationship and what not, her brother just left last month to hawaii to work at a cruiseship for 5 months... he knows that i come over all the time and stuff.... she even gave me a key to the apt...... well this past weekend it was my bday, so we went out clubbin with some friends... had a few drinks and we made out a few times.... now i kind of get mixed signals from her...


my question to you guys is....

How would i tell him that me and her made out last weekend ?

and

How would i go about getting his approval and being on the clear to date the sister.... ????


i really like her, she is different, nice, caring, can keep up with the going out... so she is fun to be around and i would like to date her and possibly get something serious going....

so im turning to the fanatics.....

Help a brotha out!!!!!

Sounds like shes a "playa"

Your going to lose your friend.

/thread.

Tell him that you love him dearly and want nothing more than to be with him. But since it's against God's law, you'll just have to settle for his sister. He'll be flattered.

lmao @ jailonmacs99

honestly... i think tht if i tlk to him... he is not going to be upset... as i really havent done anything with her... but im just trying to see how it would be best to tell him or ask him if he gives me the green light seriously (he has said it b4 but im not sure if it was jokingly or serious) like i mentioned b4 he has mentioned b4 tht i should date his sister.... he knows the type of person that i am and knows that i wouldnt screw her over

yo man, if you wanted some advice you coulda hit me up on my cell bro lol you know im always down to help you out man.

first of all, dont tell the brother, he doesnt need to know, shes a grown woman, what she does in her personal life (as long as its not harmful to her or her health) is her business and in this case, would be between you and her, done deal.

if you like this girl, make your move, try not to come off too strong or blatantly tell her that you like her, not yet... if you are not 100% sure where you stand with this girl at the moment, take things slow, like i said before, coming on too strong will scare her off or could even make her a tad uncomfortable, play it cool and offer to take her out to dinner, dress up, take her to a nice place or something that she enjoys, pick her up in your car, etc... basically set up a date type situation without actually asking her out on a date, get her used to being out with you in a one on one setting, eventually she will start to get the hint and start warming up to the thought of taking things a step further with you. if you feel that there is chemistry between you guys, make your move, be confident, and dont hesitate... hesitation comes off as uncertainty, and NOTHING scares a woman away from a potential relationship faster than doubt or uncertainty.

when you ask her out, set it up nicely, it will help lol an important thing to remember is ask her out on neutral ground, and by that i mean not in a situation where she potentially has to rely on you for a ride home or feel stuck in a situation where she has to stay, for example, dont do it in the middle of dinner, in the middle of a movie, when youre back at your place after dinner, etc., asking her out in those situations can make it awkward for her or "put her on the spot" because if she says no, it will make her feel uncomfortable because shes sorta "stuck" in a situation that she feels awkward in, instead, make your move when youre dropping her off at home after dinner, before you say goodnight, make her laugh, keep her smiling, tell her how you feel, that you have a great time with her everytime youre with her, and then ask her out... ive found that to be the most effective method lol and remember, the worst she could say is no, just be confident, you got this!

as far as telling her brother goes, its one of those things that the sooner you do it, the better. be humble about it, the fact that youre asking for his approval will mean a lot to him, he will respect you for it, the sooner you tell him the better because he wont feel like you kept it from him. just set aside some time with him and talk to him about it, dont tell him straight up you want to date his sister, tell him that you'd like to but you want to know how he would feel about it, give off the impression that his opinion matters to you and that you value what he will have to say, if he likes you and thinks youre a good guy, he wont have an issue with it.

hit me up on PM or FB if you wanna talk bro, im here for ya!

just ended a relationship of 2 yrs with my best mates sister if anything it brought me and my mate closer as friends i spent christmas with him haha that being said me and the sister ended on good terms would not like to see it on bad terms

Tell him you know F2B and that should take care of the issue!!

Originally Posted by estrellajon

Sounds like shes a "playa"

+1

If your friend asks you again if you hit it, say Yes and see his reaction... hopefully he hasn't asked everyone that lol

Originally Posted by jailonacs99

Tell him that you love him dearly and want nothing more than to be with him. But since it's against God's law, you'll just have to settle for his sister. He'll be flattered.

OMG.... I just fell off my chair!

Keep your mouth shut until you're sure which way the wind is blowing.

At the moment, there isn't a whole lot to gain by telling the brother that you and big sis made out on this one occassion. Drunk makeout sessions are generally the kind of thing you keep on the low until you sober up and have time to properly evaluate the situation.

This happened very recently. At the moment, she may be just as confused about it as you are, she may be embarrased about how she acted, she may feel bad about hooking up with her little brother's friend, hence the mixed signals. You need to find out.

You talk to her first, with the goal of finding out if she's woman enough to admit that there is a mutual spark there that you are both willing to explore. If you guys come to that agreement, THEN you talked to her brother. Then you will be able to explain how you feel, how she feels, and how you both HOPE he feels about it. He should appreciate that.

If she's not up to the challenge, then forget about the makeout session and take the secret to your grave. Bringing it up will lead to nothing but drama.

Sort this matter out soon, while the iron is hot and the incident is still fresh in your minds. Don't let the situation dwell in the awkward zone too long.