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Love Line

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Old 07-08-2010, 11:22 PM   #1
Breezy
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How to react to this

Hey guys, my gf (long distance, i know i know, doesn't work don't bother) told me shes going out with the girls to some party later this summer. It's pretty far away so they are staying at a hotel. No biggie, whatevs. Here's where it gets kinda interesting. She's is going with her girlfriends, but they don't have transportation. One of my gf's friends knows some guys who are going to give them a ride, and in exchange they stay in the hotel with them. It's a three day beach party, lots of alcohol, lots of fun, sex, etc. My gf does not know the guys, but she will be staying in the same room with her friend, and two dudes....

Right. Now of course, I know you should always trust and all that, but cmon..we know how we as men are. We don't give a fock if the girl has a bf, and if he's long distance? Fair game. Plain and simple, that's how we operate. I just let my girl know I want her to have fun, but I wish that she knew who these dudes were at least, and yeah, I feel a little uncomfortable. She doesn't really know them at all. Sketch? Was I out of line in saying anything? I feel like if I didn't it would just be hiding in how I felt, and almost seem that as a bf, I don't care..

Of course she was tried to turn it around on me and say why were you listening to my convo? (Happened during a skype convo and her phone rang) I mean honestly, I dont want some dudes shacking up in the same room as my girl...yeahhh I trust her but alcohol and a young girl (20, im 23). Argghhhh.

But I said what I did,being extra careful to word it properly and not come off like a psychopath and I could tell she felt a way, but in the end she was like "I understand where you are coming from, I wouldn't want to disrespect you, don't feel like you shouldn't have said anything" but it definitely brought her mood down a little. What do you guys think, was it cool if I just said what I felt about the situation?

Last edited by Breezy; 07-08-2010 at 11:29 PM.
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Old 07-08-2010, 11:28 PM   #2
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Do you have a clear, exclusive dating agreement with this woman?
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Old 07-08-2010, 11:33 PM   #3
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Do you have a clear, exclusive dating agreement with this woman?
Yeah, we agreed to be committed and laid out the rules when we parted, and I just got back from visiting her for a month, and plan to go out again in Nov. Just don't want to look stupid, I don't blow up her phone when she goes out with the girls clubbing or whatever. but knowing beforehand that there WILL be two unknown dudes sleeping in the same hotel room during a three day crazy party fest? Yeah....I'm uneasy about that part.

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Old 07-08-2010, 11:40 PM   #4
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Well. You cannot control what other people do or say. My experience, the younger the girl, the more they are not sure of what they want in life. They will make bad decisions and will learn from it. If it happens then its probably not meant to be. However, distance can also make the heart grow fonder if she has interest in you.
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Old 07-08-2010, 11:43 PM   #5
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Well. You cannot control what other people do or say. My experience, the younger the girl, the more they are not sure of what they want in life. They will make bad decisions and will learn from it. If it happens then its probably not meant to be. However, distance can also make the heart grow fonder if she has interest in you.
truth

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Old 07-09-2010, 12:56 AM   #6
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How would you guys react? Was I justified in voicing what i thought? It sucks because I can't tell her not to go, people will do what they want as mentioned earlier, and let's be honest...people want to do something even more when someone tells them not to, common logic. FACK. Never bring it up again and just trust her I guess is all I can do. At least I said something I suppose
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Old 07-09-2010, 01:08 AM   #7
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How would you guys react? Was I justified in voicing what i thought? It sucks because I can't tell her not to go, people will do what they want as mentioned earlier, and let's be honest...people want to do something even more when someone tells them not to, common logic. FACK. Never bring it up again and just trust her I guess is all I can do. At least I said something I suppose
I would have as much fun while your (physically) with her AND while you are not as you can.

Don't have a ride?!? Get a fvcking bus ticket/cab ride depending on how far the trip is.

To be blatant: IMO exclusivity is a fvcking joke at this age... so I wouldn't get feelings tangled up in a surefire sh;tshow situation like that.

While she is out partying, you should do the same. Don't be bumming about it- go out and party with friends.
-Chris
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Old 07-09-2010, 01:11 AM   #8
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yeah, true. no point in bumming about it..thanks for the advice everyone
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Old 07-09-2010, 01:15 AM   #9
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Truth spoken in this thread
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Old 07-09-2010, 01:18 AM   #10
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^****ing gay
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Old 07-09-2010, 01:19 AM   #11
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dude^ I already told you Im not into you like that
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Old 07-09-2010, 07:12 AM   #12
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be honest and ask her to do you a favor, if she ends up hooking up with a dude, drunk or not, to let you know so you can break it off.
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Old 07-09-2010, 09:34 AM   #13
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Breezy -

To me, it's really simple: you have a right to express your feelings about her/the situation. The more clear you can be, the better. If in the unlikely event her feelings for you are mature/genuine, then she will understand and take your feelings into account. If she doesn't, best to remove some of those feelings for her and look at this as a casual thing.

It was stated earlier than girls of that age are not aware of what they want... truer words were never spoken! At that age they have one person in mind... themselves.

Your new motto: have fun, and don't take it too seriously. In a few years maybe she's settled enough to talk to about stuff like this. For now, you might open up her head and find.... nothing at all.
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Old 07-09-2010, 11:22 AM   #14
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be honest and ask her to do you a favor, if she ends up hooking up with a dude, drunk or not, to let you know so you can break it off.
That's the dumbest thing you can do. If you say this it indicates that there is a part of you that does not trust her.

The best thing to do is tell her how you feel and move on. If she fuucks around then oh well. If not, then great. There really isn't anything you can do but you have to act like you trust her even if you don't. We can't control what other dudes will say or try but we like to think our gf's aren't those skanks other dudes run their mouths about.
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Old 07-09-2010, 07:08 PM   #15
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Let her go have fun, if something happens, it was bound to happen eventually anyways
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Old 07-09-2010, 10:20 PM   #16
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My gf just blew up on me at this, saying i was coming at her.....Why did i even bother saying anything? I said what I did in the most calm, rational, way without accusing her, or saying anything about trust. And now she just blew up on me, saying things like "I don't like people telling me what to do"...I even told her to go..wtf..guess I see where this relationship is going
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Old 07-09-2010, 11:46 PM   #17
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Great, now she's going to a three-day booze filled sex-fest with two dudes....angry at you.
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Old 07-10-2010, 12:16 AM   #18
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Great, now she's going to a three-day booze filled sex-fest with two dudes....angry at you.
yup...but earlier she sent me an email saying not to worry, she understands where im coming from, and if i dont want her to go let her know...then went into cant wait to see you in dec and nov balh blah...then i come home to that..women sure do make sense

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Old 07-10-2010, 01:03 AM   #19
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yup...but earlier she sent me an email saying not to worry, she understands where im coming from, and if i dont want her to go let her know...then went into cant wait to see you in dec and nov balh blah...then i come home to that..women sure do make sense
It's a trap. She just successfully got your permission to **** them 2 guys. First she tells you how much she wants to see you to calm you down and make you think you are her #1. Then she says she won't go if you don't want her to. You would rather she didn't, but really can't say anything and most likely she'll go anyways. So when she does get banged by them 2 other guys, she'll just say that she offered to stay home, but you told her to go have fun.
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Old 07-10-2010, 01:34 AM   #20
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It's a trap. She just successfully got your permission to **** them 2 guys. First she tells you how much she wants to see you to calm you down and make you think you are her #1. Then she says she won't go if you don't want her to. You would rather she didn't, but really can't say anything and most likely she'll go anyways. So when she does get banged by them 2 other guys, she'll just say that she offered to stay home, but you told her to go have fun.
It's such a double standard thing in life...she always accuses me of talking to girls at parties, asking me who im talking to, and i just express that im not cool with 2 random dudes being in the room and now this...
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