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Love Line

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Old 07-16-2010, 02:50 PM   #21
M3Inline6
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I like my privacy, even when I'm not doing anything wrong.
I'm the same way. It's ingrained in me; I value my sovereignty...my privacy. It's an area that my gf and I have had many lengthly discussions about. It's not about disrespecting the relationship (..although many people assume that it is); it's the simple principle of having space.

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Old 07-17-2010, 09:59 PM   #22
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i'm really sorry for you but..
i'm a lot younger but i'm female as well. there's some other guy in the picture or someone she wants to meet.

but then.. rather have her leave now than you trying really hard and her screwin some other guy.

I usually don't check my guys phone but i think after a while he should trust me enough for me to either answer his phone or look at it to see who texted when hes not in the room.
cuz i dont have anything to hide and would be fine with him doing the same.
but then. im glad im single


still, sorry for you, you'll find someone better! (and maybe more mature...as apparently that has nothing to do with age...)
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Old 07-18-2010, 05:20 AM   #23
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No, letting her go through your phone will not teach her to trust you. Next she'll be going through your e-mail, then your bank statements, then your sock drawer, then your mail, etc etc etc

Either she trusts you on her own, or she doesn't. By letting her go through your stuff, you're simply giving her the idea that it's ok to go through it. Eventually, you'll have something you don't want her to see (ie, e receipt for a present, who knows) and suddenly she's not allowed to go look. She gets pissed, accuses you of hiding things from her, etc etc etc.

My wife and I trust each other enough that we answer each other's phones, respond to text messages and so forth, but still, she doesn't just pick up my phone and go looking through all my messages and calls, just like I don't go through hers. That's a privacy line.

No, she's probably not cheating on you, and it's only a minor maturity issue. The issue there is trust.
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Old 07-18-2010, 07:35 AM   #24
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Honestly I have found that girls who are insecure with trust issues are 90% of the time the ones cheating. The fact that they are cheating makes them insecure that you might be doing something. Not saying that it is 100% all the time, but it is defiantly a red flag. In this case though it seems that it is almost for sure that she was cheating.
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Old 07-18-2010, 08:48 AM   #25
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Trust and communication are the two most important parts of a good relationship.

You two have neither.

Dump her and move on.

My girl or I could go to Vegas for a week without the other and neither would think twice about the other being up to no good.

Its a different world.

Try it; you'll like it.
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Old 07-20-2010, 03:35 AM   #26
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Trust and communication are the two most important parts of a good relationship.

You two have neither.

Dump her and move on.

My girl or I could go to Vegas for a week without the other and neither would think twice about the other being up to no good.

Its a different world.

Try it; you'll like it.
muthafin

this is what most of the threads in the loveline forum boil down to
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Old 07-21-2010, 02:20 PM   #27
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Yes.....the lack of trust was my fault. Like I said, I screwed up early on in the serious relationship and she caught me. I flirted and made out with another girl. It meant nothing, but it destroyed the trust. Since then I literally did all in my power to restore the trust. I was straight as an arrow. I loved this girl and really wanted to having something enduring with her.

However she was no saint either. Before we started dating, we were F buddies. Well back then I started to develop feelings for her and then found out she also F'ed some other guy one drunken night when she told me she was just out with her girls.

I know...logic says let it go, move on and learn from it. But you all know what I mean....the emotional pain lasts a long time when you really do fall for a girl and I know for a fact that she was really deeply in love with me too.

Nothing I can do now but come to terms with it. She has no intentions of getting back with me.
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Old 07-21-2010, 10:19 PM   #28
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Yes.....the lack of trust was my fault. Like I said, I screwed up early on in the serious relationship and she caught me. I flirted and made out with another girl. It meant nothing, but it destroyed the trust. Since then I literally did all in my power to restore the trust. I was straight as an arrow. I loved this girl and really wanted to having something enduring with her.

However she was no saint either. Before we started dating, we were F buddies. Well back then I started to develop feelings for her and then found out she also F'ed some other guy one drunken night when she told me she was just out with her girls.

I know...logic says let it go, move on and learn from it. But you all know what I mean....the emotional pain lasts a long time when you really do fall for a girl and I know for a fact that she was really deeply in love with me too.

Nothing I can do now but come to terms with it. She has no intentions of getting back with me.
my gf (now wife) sort of cheated on me very early in our relationship. ("Sort of?" You ask? It's complicated.) I had a hard time trusting her for a while, but realized at one point that it was my responsibility to trust her if I wanted to continue the relationship, not her responsibility to continually try to make it up to me.

In this case, it's up to the two of you to trust each other. "She was no saint either" is no excuse. You can't hold that sh!t over her head, just like she can't hold your indiscretion over yours. Grudges do not make for good relationships.

That goes for both of you.
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Old 07-22-2010, 12:13 AM   #29
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my gf (now wife) sort of cheated on me very early in our relationship. ("Sort of?" You ask? It's complicated.) I had a hard time trusting her for a while, but realized at one point that it was my responsibility to trust her if I wanted to continue the relationship, not her responsibility to continually try to make it up to me.

In this case, it's up to the two of you to trust each other. "She was no saint either" is no excuse. You can't hold that sh!t over her head, just like she can't hold your indiscretion over yours. Grudges do not make for good relationships.

That goes for both of you.
do tell
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Old 07-22-2010, 03:57 AM   #30
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do tell
not pertinent to the thread
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Old 07-22-2010, 04:18 AM   #31
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she seems like an immature ****
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Old 07-23-2010, 09:16 AM   #32
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Trust: It's there, or it isn't. The past is just that.
Has anybody changed anything about a relationship by stressing/freaking out about their significant other? Has it added a single day to your life/relationship? I hate it when/if my wife goes through my phone and gives my the 20 question thing if she doesn't know who a call is from. That said, I don't delete texts or calls because I don't have anything to hide, and I want her to know that.

My wife is beautiful, blonde and plenty of guys would like to have her. But I just let it go. In fact, it's a compliment in my eyes... what if they didn't look or want her? It sure wouldn't do any good to try and control her and how others respond to her.

In any case, it sounds like your trust is forever broken unless you two make the decision to trust each other... which you could do. But it would need to be totally mutual.

If that doesn't happen, get the healing started now, and be done with her. Time will heal it, so rip off the scab now....
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Old 07-23-2010, 09:19 AM   #33
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OP you will have to leave her.

i dont care if she's hot. Even the prettiest girls are unattractive when they have huge flaws like this
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Old 07-25-2010, 05:11 AM   #34
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He already said they broke up^

And OP yeah move on she probly found someone she THINKS is better at the moment and once that fails she will be coming back to you like every other b!tch. Dont take her back for your own self. Sorry to be mean kinda.
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Old 07-27-2010, 01:54 PM   #35
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she probably isn't cheating on you. it's unfortunate you took that trust away in the beginning, it's kinda hard to get it back. perhaps she just can't deal with not trusting you anymore. better for both you. maybe in your next relationship you'll be a better person.
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Old 07-27-2010, 02:48 PM   #36
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Ages: Me 35, her 37.

Normally I would say she is mature and down to earth. However lately, the last ~5 weeks something has been off. She use to be very affectionate and 'there'. Over the last 5 weeks she has become distant, less involved, and less interested in sex. Which is a bit flag...she use to always be into it. We both have gone through some very difficult issues together....issues on my end which she had supported me through, and also issues on her end which I supported her through. I had thought we had what it took to sustain and have an enduring relationship. However lately, I feel like either there is someone else or something.

So last night she ended it on the phone with me. Said she can't trust me and we have had too many disagreements lately and she is just worn thin from all the work this relationship is taking. Asked me to get her stuff together and leave it in a bag on my porch and she will pick it up.

Yeah. I am convinced something is going on. Especially because her good friend's wedding is this Saturday, I was to be her date. Makes ya go hmmm right? But really there is nothing I can do but move on. I bagged up her stuff, left it on the porch and am just going to move on. No need for drama to inflate her ego. Just taking the high road, walking away as she wants and not looking back. Sucks but long ago I vowed never to lose my dignity over a woman.
Dude, you are taking this like a man with some big a$$ cojones. I have yet to see one of the guys on this forum suck it up like you do.

Respect my friend, respect.
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