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Old 07-14-2010, 08:31 AM   #1
'busa
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Stupid noob situation, but need advice [Now with pic]

I recently got out of a long relationship that meant a lot to me. Lots of ups and downs and all that stuff, but the split was amicable and we're still very, very good friends.

For a long while, I didn't even think about looking for a girl. A hook-up or flirt maybe, but I was in no rush. I'm sort of picky, too. Yeah, I know.

Anyway, this last Saturday I was out on the town with a few buddies and we drank and joked and talked to everyone possible.

I ran into this girl who was snapping pics of her friend's birthday party and we got to talking. We went our own ways a little later, but I found her before closing and got her number. She typed it into my crappy $20 phone and called herself and saved my number, too.

Two days later, I call her. I had time to check out her facebook in the meantime. She's hotter than I remember. Anyway, no answer. I leave voicemail. My hope kind of dwindles. It's in her hands now. Not a good feeling.

I go on about my day. A little after midnight, as I'm talking on the phone, a text comes in: "i got your message. just now going to bed. sry." Not bad.

I don't reply immediately. The next day it takes me until 2 pm to figure out what to send. I end up with "I had fun talking to you. Maybe we could continue someplace not quite as loud next time. Can I entice you with coffee or ice cream." Could be better, certainly could be worse.

Here's the problem. No reply since. The rub? I upgraded my phone to the new iPhone yesterday. On top of me losing service for a little while, there was also a 4 hour AT&T outage yesterday due to some idiots cutting some communication cables.

So, I don't want to contact her twice in a row without her contacting me. At the same time I wonder if maybe she might have made an attempt.

She replied the first time, when it would have been the easiest to blow me off. Why wouldn't she now?

Just some pathetic thoughts on my mind this morning... I should act my age, I know.

Is it stupid to try to get in touch with her one more time?
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Old 07-14-2010, 08:45 AM   #2
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just let it play it out....it should fall into your hands eventually
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Old 07-14-2010, 08:46 AM   #3
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wait a day, then send then FORWARD the exact same message again (remove the FW part) if she cant return texts within days, you dont want her. if she judges you for making sure she got a message, you don't want her. etc.
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Old 07-14-2010, 08:58 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hayabusa55 View Post
I recently got out of a long relationship that meant a lot to me. Lots of ups and downs and all that stuff, but the split was amicable and we're still very, very good friends.

For a long while, I didn't even think about looking for a girl. A hook-up or flirt maybe, but I was in no rush. I'm sort of picky, too. Yeah, I know.

Anyway, this last Saturday I was out on the town with a few buddies and we drank and joked and talked to everyone possible.

I ran into this girl who was snapping pics of her friend's birthday party and we got to talking. We went our own ways a little later, but I found her before closing and got her number. She typed it into my crappy $20 phone and called herself and saved my number, too.

Two days later, I call her. I had time to check out her facebook in the meantime. She's hotter than I remember. Anyway, no answer. I leave voicemail. My hope kind of dwindles. It's in her hands now. Not a good feeling.

I go on about my day. A little after midnight, as I'm talking on the phone, a text comes in: "i got your message. just now going to bed. sry." Not bad.

I don't reply immediately. The next day it takes me until 2 pm to figure out what to send. I end up with "I had fun talking to you. Maybe we could continue someplace not quite as loud next time. Can I entice you with coffee or ice cream." Could be better, certainly could be worse.

Here's the problem. No reply since. The rub? I upgraded my phone to the new iPhone yesterday. On top of me losing service for a little while, there was also a 4 hour AT&T outage yesterday due to some idiots cutting some communication cables.

So, I don't want to contact her twice in a row without her contacting me. At the same time I wonder if maybe she might have made an attempt.

She replied the first time, when it would have been the easiest to blow me off. Why wouldn't she now?

Just some pathetic thoughts on my mind this morning... I should act my age, I know.

Is it stupid to try to get in touch with her one more time?
Try switching to Verizon. Better monthly rates and way more reliable than AT&T.
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Old 07-14-2010, 09:03 AM   #5
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ahh that's rough. just resend it if you're not sure. then it's in her hands. no reply, then move on. i hate over-thinking in these situations.
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Old 07-14-2010, 10:00 AM   #6
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Try once more then move on. I guess the good thing nowadays is that texting is prevalent in relationships, so you don't have to face the rejection face to face or even on the phone. Not a bad progression on the rejection front.
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Old 07-14-2010, 10:28 AM   #7
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1. Stop thinking about her. Apparently she isn't thinking about you. You have given her chances - she hasn't taken them.
2. Move on. If she is interested - she will let you know (I wouldn't stay up waiting for that call however).
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Old 07-14-2010, 10:41 AM   #8
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Old 07-14-2010, 10:47 AM   #9
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I wasn't going to start by texting. I called, but got her voicemail so I left a message. To which she replied! Why reply to that and not now?

I'm considering giving her a call in the afternoon today. Worst case scenario I'll get the answering machine again and I'll leave another message. At least I'll know she got it.
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Old 07-14-2010, 11:26 AM   #10
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busa, you've been around here long enough to know that you can't expect rational help without posting pics of the girl.

With that said, you should just resend the message. From the looks of it, she's not too interested otherwise she would have CALLED you back. That's what a normal person would do IMO. If you don't hear back from her, don't sweat it. Go out with the guys and find yourself a different nice girl.
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Old 07-14-2010, 11:35 AM   #11
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busa, you've been around here long enough to know that you can't expect rational help without posting pics of the girl.

With that said, you should just resend the message. From the looks of it, she's not too interested otherwise she would have CALLED you back. That's what a normal person would do IMO. If you don't hear back from her, don't sweat it. Go out with the guys and find yourself a different nice girl.
Well, she did reply at almost 1 a.m. That might be why she didn't call. Or she's shy. Why reply at all?

I don't know. I can dispense advice easily, but I suck when I'm in the situation myself. It's not a huge deal. This weekend is gearing up to be pretty good anyway, but I do like this girl.

Yes, I've been here long enough. Here you go, facebook pic is all I got:



I'm still thinking one more phone call and that's it.
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Old 07-14-2010, 11:58 AM   #12
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busa you do come through. One more phone call might make it seem like desperation (or come of creepy). It's a tough call, only you can judge it. Good luck.

Last edited by kushy; 07-14-2010 at 12:01 PM.
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Old 07-14-2010, 12:23 PM   #13
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Something I forgot to mention. One of my buddies apparently talked to her friend and befriended said friend. He mentioned to me that the group may be doing something this Thursday (tomorrow) for one of the girls' birthday again. Just extra info.

The way I see it, my options and possible outcomes are:

A. Text
- Low effort
- If she received the text and didn't reply, it might seem a bit desperate
- Involves me waiting again
- Could possibly result in something if she answers
- Might seem a bit needy

B. Call
- She could answer
- I could get voicemail, in which case I leave it again, but at least it's more effort than a text
- Voicemail involves waiting
- If she received the text and didn't reply, it might seem a bit desperate
- I could get a date
- I might make myself look needy

C. Do Nothing
- She's just late and she'll contact me
- She doesn't care and nothing happens
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Old 07-14-2010, 12:26 PM   #14
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go with option c
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Old 07-14-2010, 12:32 PM   #15
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You could send out a mass text to your friends about your new phone and include her. That might get the ball rolling again.
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Old 07-14-2010, 01:01 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by hayabusa55 View Post
I recently got out of a long relationship that meant a lot to me. Lots of ups and downs and all that stuff, but the split was amicable and we're still very, very good friends.

For a long while, I didn't even think about looking for a girl. A hook-up or flirt maybe, but I was in no rush. I'm sort of picky, too. Yeah, I know.

SaturdayAnyway, this last Saturday I was out on the town with a few buddies and we drank and joked and talked to everyone possible.

I ran into this girl who was snapping pics of her friend's birthday party and we got to talking. We went our own ways a little later, but I found her before closing and got her number. She typed it into my crappy $20 phone and called herself and saved my number, too.

MondayTwo days later, I call her. I had time to check out her facebook in the meantime. She's hotter than I remember. Anyway, no answer. I leave voicemail. My hope kind of dwindles. It's in her hands now. Not a good feeling.

I go on about my day. A little after midnight, as I'm talking on the phone, a text comes in: "i got your message. just now going to bed. sry." Not bad.

TuesdayI don't reply immediately. The next day it takes me until 2 pm to figure out what to send. I end up with "I had fun talking to you. Maybe we could continue someplace not quite as loud next time. Can I entice you with coffee or ice cream." Could be better, certainly could be worse.

Here's the problem. No reply since. The rub? I upgraded my phone to the new iPhone yesterday. On top of me losing service for a little while, there was also a 4 hour AT&T outage yesterday due to some idiots cutting some communication cables.

So, I don't want to contact her twice in a row without her contacting me. At the same time I wonder if maybe she might have made an attempt.

She replied the first time, when it would have been the easiest to blow me off. Why wouldn't she now?

Just some pathetic thoughts on my mind this morning... I should act my age, I know.

Is it stupid to try to get in touch with her one more time?
dude, I just went through your timeline and you need to just chill out! If I'm correct you texted her Tuesday = yesterday afternoon, and you are freaking out this morning? I put in bold the days of your communication above. Lay low and see what happens.

edit - she is hot! nice pic.
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Old 07-14-2010, 01:06 PM   #17
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Really? I shouldn't expect a reply to a text within 24 hours?
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Old 07-14-2010, 01:14 PM   #18
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I don't know. Do you know her schedule? Where she works, what else she has going on? Took her a day to get your voicemail. I've let texts sit for days, granted they were from girls I had no interest in ****ing, but still. Maybe she's on some knitting OT forum asking for advice on replying to your text and she hasn't come up with anything witty yet.

If you haven't heard back by tomorrow and want to contact her I would call her Friday evening with specific plans in mind for Sat night. That means asking her out on a date. Be assertive and ask her to dinner, a show, some other specific event. This vague texting leaves too many outs.
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Old 07-14-2010, 01:16 PM   #19
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C. Do Nothing
- She's just late and she'll contact me
- She doesn't care and nothing happens
-She cares, just playing it slow...

Wait to see if you get to see her again tomorrow, when you can talk her face-to-face. If not, call her Friday and see if she got your text.
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Old 07-14-2010, 01:43 PM   #20
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Funny... Just got a text from her: "hey! sorry for my lack of quick response."

Not much to go on, but at least she's alive and somewhat interested... How long will I sit on this now?

Forgot to mention that she's leaving sometime next month for a semester. Can't delay too long.
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