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Love Line

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Old 09-17-2010, 02:02 PM   #1
yousharenow
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Should she be Mad?

Looking for some other perspective on this one..


This week has been a long one already, I've had 3 18 hour days, an Engineering and Programming project due for school, a math test, and work has been even more so insane.

So last night after my class let out at 9, me and the roomie went to our local watering hole to grab a beer, or 5.

Well we got completely wasted. We took a cab for the mighty 3 mile commute back home, and was back here at work on time this am.


I feel like after a hellacious week I have completely earned a night out with the roomie getting smashed, and a few rounds of disc golf this weekend to soothe the soul.

She doesn't agree (pic are in the gf thread)

She says she find it disrespectful that I got THAT trashed at a bar, because she wouldn't do it.

This was me and my roomate, at a bar where EVERYONE knows us (srsly I feel like I'm at cheers in this place) and we took a cab home.....so whats the rub?

I have an amazing career that is VERY demanding, I'm taking 9 hours a semester at night ...so what ground does she have to say my behavior is deviant/disrespectful? I didn't act a fool and screw a bunch of girls, I didn't do anything that was out of line, and I needed to blow of steam from this week.

So what ground does she have to be upset? Or is she just pissy because she wasn't there?

Last edited by yousharenow; 09-17-2010 at 03:49 PM.
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Old 09-17-2010, 02:15 PM   #2
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how old are you?

young college undergrad, then no...live your life

30 something? then maybe
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Old 09-17-2010, 02:16 PM   #3
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Old 09-17-2010, 03:09 PM   #4
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I think you should be able to do those things as long as she's invited
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Old 09-17-2010, 03:14 PM   #5
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get your story straight- was it bus or cab
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Old 09-17-2010, 03:16 PM   #6
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Quote:
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I think you should be able to do those things as long as she's invited
i agree with this - you should have called her and tell her you would like to see her and tell her you need to chill - give her the option
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Old 09-17-2010, 03:48 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 330i ZHP View Post
i agree with this - you should have called her and tell her you would like to see her and tell her you need to chill - give her the option
Bussmocab?


It was a cab, in van form.

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Old 09-17-2010, 03:49 PM   #8
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i agree with this - you should have called her and tell her you would like to see her and tell her you need to chill - give her the option
So I have to invite her out to randomly get drinks with the roomie? She's always invited, but I guess I should have been more direct and verbally invited her out?
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Old 09-17-2010, 04:20 PM   #9
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23
tell her to chill the eff out....you don't need a second mommy

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Old 09-17-2010, 04:36 PM   #10
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dude you b1tched about "college" girls so you deserve this. wtf did you expect when your goal is to go after older more mature girls.
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Old 09-17-2010, 08:00 PM   #11
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dude you b1tched about "college" girls so you deserve this. wtf did you expect when your goal is to go after older more mature girls.
yea- either way don't expect any girl to get happy about you getting wasted because you "worked" so hard, thats no excuse
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Old 09-18-2010, 12:20 AM   #12
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Get wasted and have a good time...seems like your in college. This girl is acting like your 40 with 3 kids to feed or something. You worked your ass off during the week, she should be happy you went out and enjoyed yourself, not pissed because she had no fun this weekend. I say drop her fast bro.
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Old 09-18-2010, 01:08 AM   #13
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Need more info.

Are you married? If not how long have you two been together?

Do you two live together? If so did you give her a courtesy call to let her know what was going on so she wasn't pacing the house wondering if you were okay?

Do you do this often?

Is this a two way street? In other words does she go out with her friends and cut loose?

And lastly, if you're a hard worker, and it sounds like you are, in addition to taking classes, than hell yes you deserve to let it hang out when you want.
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Old 09-18-2010, 06:43 AM   #14
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"should she be mad?" is irrelevant. She is mad. Life lesson here: she's going to get mad at things you don't understand, you'll get mad about things she doesn't understand.

The real question is this: while you're working this hard, taking all these classes, and getting smashed, how much time are you giving to her? A relationship is a lot more than "I'll call you when I'm not busy to see if you wanna hang out", and I could be wrong, but that sounds like what you're treating it as.

This is yet another problem that needs to be solved with open honest communication with your gf. It sounds like she has higher expectations of this relationship than you do. You need to clarify with her what your expectations are, and what hers are. If they're too far seperate, then there's not much hope for a relationship right now.
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Old 09-19-2010, 04:11 PM   #15
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I work full time, and crank out 9 hours of college at night. Whatever free time I have left gets chopped up between chores, homework, friends, and her.

The issue is that We just honestly don't see eachother much. We sat down and wrote out expectation lists of what we wanted in the relationship about a month ago. I hold her to the list I wrote, but she says her list doesn't count as "she didn't have much time to write it"..


Its just more excuses of the same..its sad when I have more fun hitting the bar, and playing disc golf with my friends then I do hanging out with her. We have been off-and-on together for a long time, I'm just tired of the drama and complaining to be honest.


(1) No we don't live together
(2)I'm a pretty boring guy, I can't remember the last time I went out and had some drinks on a weeknight was
(3) Yes I encourage her to go out and have fun with her friends...we work way to hard to not enjoy yourself once in a while without catching flack.


I think I'm just going to go back to the single life for a while..I am taking some high level programming, engineering, and math courses this semester and thats where my focus needs to be...I don't need to be dealing with this between work and school. She is a priority in my life, but my schedule with her doesn't fufill me...I don't want to spend all weekend sitting around with her...I'd rather be out with my friends at the pool, or at a DG course, or watching the game...and I don't feel bad about it.

I'm in college, and I don't feel bad about it...this relationship just isn't conducive to us right now.

Last edited by yousharenow; 09-19-2010 at 04:14 PM.
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Old 09-19-2010, 04:46 PM   #16
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Here is what I know.

I am older than you and live with my fiancÚ.

I have guys nights, she has girls nights, we have couples nights and we have our nights.

Its all about communication and mutual trust and respect.

Be yourself, make her feel special, but NEVER lose friendships or your own "space."

BUT...on the other hand, don't cancel your plans with her to go hang out with the guys either.

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Old 09-19-2010, 07:45 PM   #17
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Theres you, me, and the relationship.

Gotta be fair to all 3
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Old 09-20-2010, 01:26 AM   #18
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(1) No we don't live together
(2)I'm a pretty boring guy, I can't remember the last time I went out and had some drinks on a weeknight was
(3) Yes I encourage her to go out and have fun with her friends...we work way to hard to not enjoy yourself once in a while without catching flack.


I think I'm just going to go back to the single life for a while.. (1) I am taking some high level programming, engineering, and math courses this semester and thats where my focus needs to be...I don't need to be dealing with this between work and school. She is a priority in my life, but my schedule with her doesn't fufill me...I don't want to spend all weekend sitting around with her... (2)I'd rather be out with my friends at the pool, (3)or at a DG course, (4)or watching the game...and I don't feel bad about it.

I'm in college, and I don't feel bad about it...this relationship just isn't conducive to us right now.
sounds like she's, at most, priority number 5 in your life. But probably not that high, as going out to the bar was more important, as well. So she's somewhere in the bottom half of the top 10?

Honestly, you're not being fair to her or yourself. Does she know what level priority she is in your life? Apparently you've figured it out, but have not let her know.

Do you invite her to go hang out at the pool, or play disc golf, or watch the game? Or are these "guys only" activities? Do you invite her to go out to the bar on a random thursday night?

It sounds like you may be a higher priority to her than she is to you. She would rather spend time with you, or invite you to do things she's doing. Not once in these posts have you mentioned that you enjoy spending time with her, or things that you two enjoy doing together. So is this actually a relationship? Or just a friends with benefits?
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Old 09-20-2010, 01:45 AM   #19
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http://forum.e46fanatics.com/showthread.php?t=788581

I see the issue now... You're tired of freshman girls, and want a more mature person. But, bottom line, you're not ready to commit to a mature relationship. What you really need to do is quit crying and figure out what's important in your life.
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Old 09-20-2010, 08:25 AM   #20
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Yes, I invite her out to play DG, drink with us, and enjoy the weekends. I have told her time and again where on my list she falls. She is in the "everything else" category below work and school.

Unfortunately I don't have the necessary time to dedicate between work and school to sit around and swoon over a girl..just not my style. I have bigger fish to fry. I'm pressing forward...this girl was bat sh!t crazy anyways.
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