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Love Line

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Old 09-20-2010, 07:50 AM   #21
DylloS
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Originally Posted by NOVAbimmer View Post
"should she be mad?" is irrelevant. She is mad. Life lesson here: she's going to get mad at things you don't understand, you'll get mad about things she doesn't understand.

The real question is this: while you're working this hard, taking all these classes, and getting smashed, how much time are you giving to her? A relationship is a lot more than "I'll call you when I'm not busy to see if you wanna hang out", and I could be wrong, but that sounds like what you're treating it as.

This is yet another problem that needs to be solved with open honest communication with your gf. It sounds like she has higher expectations of this relationship than you do. You need to clarify with her what your expectations are, and what hers are. If they're too far seperate, then there's not much hope for a relationship right now.
exactly

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Originally Posted by yousharenow View Post
I work full time, and crank out 9 hours of college at night. Whatever free time I have left gets chopped up between chores, homework, friends, and her.

The issue is that We just honestly don't see eachother much. We sat down and wrote out expectation lists of what we wanted in the relationship about a month ago. I hold her to the list I wrote, but she says her list doesn't count as "she didn't have much time to write it"..


Its just more excuses of the same..its sad when I have more fun hitting the bar, and playing disc golf with my friends then I do hanging out with her. We have been off-and-on together for a long time, I'm just tired of the drama and complaining to be honest.


(1) No we don't live together
(2)I'm a pretty boring guy, I can't remember the last time I went out and had some drinks on a weeknight was
(3) Yes I encourage her to go out and have fun with her friends...we work way to hard to not enjoy yourself once in a while without catching flack.


I think I'm just going to go back to the single life for a while..I am taking some high level programming, engineering, and math courses this semester and thats where my focus needs to be...I don't need to be dealing with this between work and school. She is a priority in my life, but my schedule with her doesn't fufill me...I don't want to spend all weekend sitting around with her...I'd rather be out with my friends at the pool, or at a DG course, or watching the game...and I don't feel bad about it.

I'm in college, and I don't feel bad about it...this relationship just isn't conducive to us right now.
then end it. You're obviously not in to it.
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Old 09-20-2010, 04:52 PM   #22
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Yes, I invite her out to play DG, drink with us, and enjoy the weekends. I have told her time and again where on my list she falls. She is in the "everything else" category below work and school.

Unfortunately I don't have the necessary time to dedicate between work and school to sit around and swoon over a girl..just not my style. I have bigger fish to fry. I'm pressing forward...this girl was bat sh!t crazy anyways.
Newsflash: If you have this mindset, your relationships are going to fail every single time. Telling a chick she gets the leftover scraps of your time is pretty crappy and if she is smart she will dump you.
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Old 09-20-2010, 05:03 PM   #23
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i'm not sure how much time you spend with her... but if it is an amount that you two can agree on, then you did nothing wrong

put it this way

you already have one mother
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Old 09-20-2010, 06:44 PM   #24
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Originally Posted by SLVR JDM View Post
Newsflash: If you have this mindset, your relationships are going to fail every single time. Telling a chick she gets the leftover scraps of your time is pretty crappy and if she is smart she will dump you.
So I should just lie to her and tell her to call me 50x a day at work and in school? I don't have time to raise a girl, I simply don't have the cycles. Either be on board with my schedule and what I can offer, or don't. No harm no foul either way. I'm in college and I have a career, I don't need a needy girl. Categorization of a busy guy into a relationship failure group is a bit of a reach.


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i'm not sure how much time you spend with her... but if it is an amount that you two can agree on, then you did nothing wrong

put it this way

you already have one mother

Was thinking this today, THANK YOU.



It's pretty civil, but convincing a 21 year old girl that you can only see her on weekends and once or twice during the week after 9pm is a hard sell.

I'm in college right now, there are no shortage of hot women in Texas but my priority right now in life is to get out of school..nothing else. Losing sight of it will do nothing but delay it.
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Old 09-20-2010, 09:49 PM   #25
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well then you need to do what is right for YOU... explain that to her (in a nice way,) and if she can't handle that, well then she'll have to be the one to leave
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Old 09-20-2010, 09:59 PM   #26
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Originally Posted by yousharenow View Post

It's pretty civil, but convincing a 21 year old girl that you can only see her on weekends and once or twice during the week after 9pm is a hard sell.

I'm in college right now, there are no shortage of hot women in Texas but my priority right now in life is to get out of school..nothing else. Losing sight of it will do nothing but delay it.
Like I thought. This is not a relationship. This is "I'll call you when I'm not busy and I want to hang out". AKA "friends with benefits".

That is not "busy guy" that is "too-busy-for-you guy". You don't belong in a relationship right now. If you were up front with her about all of this (no ), then I'm really surprised she wants anything to do with you. Something tells me either:
A: you weren't up front with her about what you want from her
B: she wasn't up front with you about what she wants from you

Again, open and honest communication.
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Old 09-20-2010, 10:02 PM   #27
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Sounds like married life. Btw she's always right so get used to it
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Old 09-22-2010, 04:26 PM   #28
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i get this too man, some women are controlling. this issue pisses me off every single time, time to set her ass straight
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Old 09-22-2010, 05:15 PM   #29
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This is a simple fix smother her.. Spend every waking second you have free with her for a week. Then ask if you can hang with your boys. She will be so sick of you she wont beg for your attention. It may backfire and she may still give you shi* if so decide whether or not to dump her.
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Old 09-22-2010, 08:18 PM   #30
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Decision is done...shes too young and controlling right now man...she has a dog she can boss around.

I'm not going to apologize for success or ambition..my life=school right now..if that is NOT enough for you then no harm no foul, its just not the right time.
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Old 11-20-2010, 04:26 PM   #31
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disregard females, acquire currency.
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