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Old 10-09-2010, 10:52 AM   #1
AP#M3
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What should I do?

Hey guys,
Met this girl a few years ago back in year 9 at a party.
People told me she wanted to hook up with me but I got with some other chick so that kinda never happened.
Ever since then I've always wanted her. Three years on and still nothing. We are friends and talk with eachother every now and then.
Here's the problem...she's my good mates sister. They're twins as well. (age wise)
Situation is I really wanna try getting with her but I don't wanna risk making a move, being rejected and then getting into strife with my mate.
I've had my chance more than a few times but decided against it.
What would you guys do? And how would you go about it?
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Old 10-09-2010, 11:38 AM   #2
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Have you rejected her before? Directly or indirectly doesn't matter, but have you?
If so, do you think she perceives your value/self-worth as higher than her own?
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Old 10-09-2010, 05:16 PM   #3
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No i haven't rejected her. Actually there was one time where we were literally about two cm away from locking lips when her brother walked in....so that kinda wrecked the night.
After that night she knows how much I want her and is always flirtatious with me but I don't know what to do.
Her brother who is a real good mate has probably said something to her....but I can't be sure.
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Old 10-09-2010, 06:23 PM   #4
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No i haven't rejected her. Actually there was one time where we were literally about two cm away from locking lips when her brother walked in....so that kinda wrecked the night.
After that night she knows how much I want her and is always flirtatious with me but I don't know what to do.
Her brother who is a real good mate has probably said something to her....but I can't be sure.
Alright, first things first... tell your friend your intentions. Tell him not tell her anything though, tell him that you serious about him not telling or indicating anything to her. If he's a good friend he'll probably try to help you out but you DO NOT want his help, just tell him you'll make it happen on your own! There is a good reason for this and I could explain it to you but for now just take my word on it and make sure he understands this!

Now that your friend/her brother knows, you can get started...

The first thing you need to do is determine how she views your value. Someones value is ALWAYS higher than the others so if you could only pick one of these two answers which one do you think it would be...

1. She thinks she is to good for you.
2. She thinks you are to good for her.

I realize that these are exaggerations but again, if you had to pick one... which one do you think is MOST true according to her?
Don't over think it either, just tell me your first instinct on this! Keep in mind that neither answer is a bad one, figuring out the answer will simply give you or me as the case may be, an idea of where to start.

Also are you sure you haven't rejected her even if only indirectly before, because this kinda tells me otherwise...
"I've had my chance more than a few times but decided against it." If you have then the answer will most likely be number two above, this is why I'm asking.
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Old 10-09-2010, 06:57 PM   #5
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I would approach your "mate", and ask what he would think if you were to ask her out on date
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Old 10-09-2010, 08:34 PM   #6
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Alright so my first instinct was that she thinks she's too good for me...and thinking about it I actually look back on a few drunken nights where I may have rejected her without even knowing.
My mate knows and he doesn't mind that much...he's pretty good about it..except he told her I want her... :/
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Old 10-09-2010, 11:16 PM   #7
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Alright so my first instinct was that she thinks she's too good for me...and thinking about it I actually look back on a few drunken nights where I may have rejected her without even knowing.
My mate knows and he doesn't mind that much...he's pretty good about it..except he told her I want her... :/
He told her, which means she knows she could if she wanted to sorta speak, this lines up with your first instinct so that's good. Though you saying you may have rejected her doesn't but whatever, we'll just assume the later.

So first thing you need to do is raise your value. Once she perceives your value to be higher than hers, she will become interested/attracted. There are two ways to raise your value and they are to DHV (demonstrate higher value) and to IOD (demonstrate indicators of disinterest).

All DHVs should revolve around these main fourů

1) Leader of men.
2) Pre-Selection.
3) Protector of loved ones.
4) Willingness to emote.

Some other DHV examples...

- being unaffected
- being none needy
- having a strong sense of self
- having a life, being social
- having good friends
- having other women want you

Be subtle in DHVing however, you DO NOT want it to come off like you are bragging!

Here are some examples of IODs now...

- walking away while she is talking to you, you can come back or not but if you do act like it wasn't a big deal.
- when she's talking to you, look somewhere else.
- when she flirts tell her YOU are not HER type, that she probably needs a nice guy that will kiss her ass, then point out some random guy and say, "see, that guy over there looks perfect for you, he'd probably buy you flowers and everything." Be sure to say this with a smile.
- if she touches you look at her like WTF!!! "do I need to start a tab here or something, this **** isn't free you know!" Hell you could walk away at this point as well.
- if she touches you say, "wow, slow down... I'm not easy you know!"
- Fart while she's talking to you and walk away BUT DO NOT LAUGHT!!

Some of this stuff sounds ridiculous but combined with DHVs it will be lethal in raising your value and lowering hers!

Another important thing I should go over is negs. Negs are a form of IODing but in a more subtle way.
For example...

- Your shoes look comfortable.
- While she's talking to you flinch your head, wipe your face and make it look like she spit on you.
- I like that dress, it seems to be very popular now days.
- You have something on your face.
- Laugh and say your nose wrinkles when you talk.

Negs basically will make her feel more insecure.

What type of physical contact have you two had, anything, holding hands, hugging, anything?
Does she ever do things for you when asked or not, anything at all?

Answering these questions should better help determine your value to her.

Basically here's what you need to do. You need to DHV and IOD until your value raises enough that she'll start giving you genuine IOI (indicators of interest). With that interest/attraction you are going to make her do something for you, this is called a compliance test. A compliance test can be anything from her answering a question, her giving you a kiss when asked for it, her consenting to sex, whatever. You should build up these compliance tests over time, obviously she's not just going to consent to sex right away, you have to work your compliance tests up to it. Sex is just a compliance test.

If she fails a compliance test you give her an IOD, start DHVing again and then simply try again. The idea is that the IOD will make her feel more uncomfortable than you made her giving her the compliance test she failed.
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Old 10-10-2010, 02:38 AM   #8
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Thanks mate...I've actually done that with other girls without ever knowing about that dhv stuff. Interesting to know.
To answer your question I usually greet with a hug or kiss on the cheek. Also I've danced with her which pretty much means I've had my body up against hers and stuff.
Does this help?
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Old 10-10-2010, 03:48 AM   #9
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Thanks mate...I've actually done that with other girls without ever knowing about that dhv stuff. Interesting to know.
To answer your question I usually greet with a hug or kiss on the cheek. Also I've danced with her which pretty much means I've had my body up against hers and stuff.
Does this help?
Of course you've done it before, all this these things I have or will talk about are things that happen naturally all the time. The key is figuring out WHEN to DHV, IOD, NEG, SOI, SOD, kino, give compliance tests, body rock out, freeze out, etcetera, etcetera. You know the chest pieces you just need to learn to play the game now sorta speak.

Physical touch is what we call kino. You have kinoed which is good as she will be used to your touch. It seems like either you or her are in the friend zone. The fact that kino takes place will make it much easier to transition out so that's good.

First thing you should do is start DHVing and IODing. If you possible do this before meeting through text, email or whatever.

I'm gonna suggest to just go ahead and try a kino compliance test. Next time you see her give her a hug as usual but make sure YOU are the one that ends it. What I mean is after a second or two push her away again (not hard obviously), this is an example of an IOD. As soon as you hug and push her off again, turn your head sideways and pat your cheek implying to her that she should kiss it (I don't mean in the way people greet each other, I mean in the way a teenage girl would kiss a guy on the cheek she has a crush on). This will be the compliance test, just go ahead and do it right upon meeting after the hug! Don't ask for it just turn your head and do the pat on the cheek!

Honestly, from the what you wrote so far she'll most likely comply the first time. If she does then you'll have just took a huge step forward and for the most part you might as well consider yourself out of the friend zone now. And people say it's hard

Only give her like two seconds to comply though, if she hesitates say, "you lost me" and simply walk away! Go to the bathroom, kitchen or whatever but walk away!! The idea is such that you walking away will make her feel more uncomfortable than she would have just giving you the kiss. When she finds you or you come back continue DHVing and IODing for a few minutes acting like nothing happened then simply try again or you can just wait until you're leaving and saying your goodbyes to try again... watch her rush in to do it this time

The reason she'll do it now is because she doesn't want to feel that discomfort when you walked away again.

Be sure to go through this a few times before hand, you want everything to come out naturally and congruently. So practice, use a mirror if need be.
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Old 10-10-2010, 05:04 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by CRSmoak View Post
He told her, which means she knows she could if she wanted to sorta speak, this lines up with your first instinct so that's good. Though you saying you may have rejected her doesn't but whatever, we'll just assume the later.

So first thing you need to do is raise your value. Once she perceives your value to be higher than hers, she will become interested/attracted. There are two ways to raise your value and they are to DHV (demonstrate higher value) and to IOD (demonstrate indicators of disinterest).

All DHVs should revolve around these main fourů

1) Leader of men.
2) Pre-Selection.
3) Protector of loved ones.
4) Willingness to emote.

Some other DHV examples...

- being unaffected
- being none needy
- having a strong sense of self
- having a life, being social
- having good friends
- having other women want you

Be subtle in DHVing however, you DO NOT want it to come off like you are bragging!

Here are some examples of IODs now...

- walking away while she is talking to you, you can come back or not but if you do act like it wasn't a big deal.
- when she's talking to you, look somewhere else.
- when she flirts tell her YOU are not HER type, that she probably needs a nice guy that will kiss her ass, then point out some random guy and say, "see, that guy over there looks perfect for you, he'd probably buy you flowers and everything." Be sure to say this with a smile.
- if she touches you look at her like WTF!!! "do I need to start a tab here or something, this **** isn't free you know!" Hell you could walk away at this point as well.
- if she touches you say, "wow, slow down... I'm not easy you know!"
- Fart while she's talking to you and walk away BUT DO NOT LAUGHT!!

Some of this stuff sounds ridiculous but combined with DHVs it will be lethal in raising your value and lowering hers!

Another important thing I should go over is negs. Negs are a form of IODing but in a more subtle way.
For example...

- Your shoes look comfortable.
- While she's talking to you flinch your head, wipe your face and make it look like she spit on you.
- I like that dress, it seems to be very popular now days.
- You have something on your face.
- Laugh and say your nose wrinkles when you talk.

Negs basically will make her feel more insecure.

What type of physical contact have you two had, anything, holding hands, hugging, anything?
Does she ever do things for you when asked or not, anything at all?

Answering these questions should better help determine your value to her.

Basically here's what you need to do. You need to DHV and IOD until your value raises enough that she'll start giving you genuine IOI (indicators of interest). With that interest/attraction you are going to make her do something for you, this is called a compliance test. A compliance test can be anything from her answering a question, her giving you a kiss when asked for it, her consenting to sex, whatever. You should build up these compliance tests over time, obviously she's not just going to consent to sex right away, you have to work your compliance tests up to it. Sex is just a compliance test.

If she fails a compliance test you give her an IOD, start DHVing again and then simply try again. The idea is that the IOD will make her feel more uncomfortable than you made her giving her the compliance test she failed.
Dr.Phil up in here man..

some of this sh1t is just stupid man..
there is a guy i go to uni with and he does all of the above sh1t u just mentioned.. i just laugh at him..

there is one thing i do alot though that u mentioned and that is "point out some random guy and say, "see, that guy over there looks perfect for you, he'd probably buy you flowers and everything." Be sure to say this with a smile" .. just because its funny..


LMAO@ compliance testing
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who da F done that?
prestige warehouse or who?
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Old 10-10-2010, 01:19 PM   #11
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Dr.Phil up in here man..

some of this sh1t is just stupid man..
there is a guy i go to uni with and he does all of the above sh1t u just mentioned.. i just laugh at him..

there is one thing i do alot though that u mentioned and that is "point out some random guy and say, "see, that guy over there looks perfect for you, he'd probably buy you flowers and everything." Be sure to say this with a smile" .. just because its funny..


LMAO@ compliance testing
Lol, well damn man. If your gonna try to call me out at least explain your reasoning in why you think it's stupid...

That way... I can explain it in a way that'll be easier for you to understand
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Old 10-10-2010, 03:31 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by YGOAMG View Post
Dr.Phil up in here man..

some of this sh1t is just stupid man..
there is a guy i go to uni with and he does all of the above sh1t u just mentioned.. i just laugh at him..

there is one thing i do alot though that u mentioned and that is "point out some random guy and say, "see, that guy over there looks perfect for you, he'd probably buy you flowers and everything." Be sure to say this with a smile" .. just because its funny..


LMAO@ compliance testing
well it works, so..... I guess you lack the social intelligence to understand these things...a lot of people are like that though, so don't feel bad. I am not ripping on you.. I really am serious, some people just don't have it

And compliance testing is a huge deal man
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Old 10-11-2010, 03:34 AM   #13
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Anyone got any other methods of how to go about this since theres som doubt in the air?
Im not saying your info is bad or rong by any means...just wondering if anyone else would take a different approach
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Old 10-11-2010, 07:52 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by CRSmoak View Post
Lol, well damn man. If your gonna try to call me out at least explain your reasoning in why you think it's stupid...

That way... I can explain it in a way that'll be easier for you to understand
alright ill show u what i think is wrong with ur advice
see below..

Quote:
Originally Posted by CRSmoak View Post
He told her, which means she knows she could if she wanted to sorta speak, this lines up with your first instinct so that's good. Though you saying you may have rejected her doesn't but whatever, we'll just assume the later.

So first thing you need to do is raise your value. Once she perceives your value to be higher than hers, she will become interested/attracted. There are two ways to raise your value and they are to DHV (demonstrate higher value) and to IOD (demonstrate indicators of disinterest).

All DHVs should revolve around these main four...

1) Leader of men.
2) Pre-Selection.
3) Protector of loved ones.
4) Willingness to emote.

Some other DHV examples...

- being unaffected
- being none needy
- having a strong sense of self
- having a life, being social
- having good friends
- having other women want you

Be subtle in DHVing however, you DO NOT want it to come off like you are bragging!

Here are some examples of IODs now...

- walking away while she is talking to you, you can come back or not but if you do act like it wasn't a big deal.
- when she's talking to you, look somewhere else.
- when she flirts tell her YOU are not HER type, that she probably needs a nice guy that will kiss her ass, then point out some random guy and say, "see, that guy over there looks perfect for you, he'd probably buy you flowers and everything." Be sure to say this with a smile.
- if she touches you look at her like WTF!!! "do I need to start a tab here or something, this **** isn't free you know!" Hell you could walk away at this point as well.
- if she touches you say, "wow, slow down... I'm not easy you know!"
- Fart while she's talking to you and walk away BUT DO NOT LAUGHT!!

Some of this stuff sounds ridiculous but combined with DHVs it will be lethal in raising your value and lowering hers!

Another important thing I should go over is negs. Negs are a form of IODing but in a more subtle way.
For example...

- Your shoes look comfortable.
- While she's talking to you flinch your head, wipe your face and make it look like she spit on you.
- I like that dress, it seems to be very popular now days.
- You have something on your face.
- Laugh and say your nose wrinkles when you talk.

Negs basically will make her feel more insecure.

What type of physical contact have you two had, anything, holding hands, hugging, anything?
Does she ever do things for you when asked or not, anything at all?

Answering these questions should better help determine your value to her.

Basically here's what you need to do. You need to DHV and IOD until your value raises enough that she'll start giving you genuine IOI (indicators of interest). With that interest/attraction you are going to make her do something for you, this is called a compliance test. A compliance test can be anything from her answering a question, her giving you a kiss when asked for it, her consenting to sex, whatever. You should build up these compliance tests over time, obviously she's not just going to consent to sex right away, you have to work your compliance tests up to it. Sex is just a compliance test.

If she fails a compliance test you give her an IOD, start DHVing again and then simply try again. The idea is that the IOD will make her feel more uncomfortable than you made her giving her the compliance test she failed.
DVH examples arnt too bad imo
But showing that uve got other women around that u want...
i think thats not a good move... why would she want to be with someone who wants other girls..

the "IODs" or what ever u call them.. they are straight out dissrespectful..
for instance "walk away while she is talking to u.."
i wouldnt do that to someone i hated.. let alone a friend..

then the "negs"
wtf is that sh1t man... is that basically think of the dumbest sh1t u can think of and say it?
"your shoes look comfortable" wtf? when you u say this? would u say it sarcastically when she is wearing massive heels that obviously would be uncomfortable?
"that dress seems to be very popular these days"
unless u happen to know a thing or two about fashion.. dont talk about it.. coz u end up looking like a wanker..



but u know what.. im actually going to try this, just as a matter of principle.. ill let u know how it goes..


OP.. how old are u?
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Quote:
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who da F done that?
prestige warehouse or who?

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Old 10-11-2010, 09:53 PM   #15
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kind of feel like you are taking those too seriously (maybe that isn't the right word) YGOAMG...

-walking away from girl... you don't just walk away, in my opinion, just tell them to "hold that thought" and then do it.
-being with other girls... this doesn't need to be stated directly, but there are other ways to show it, without actually saying it
-Comfy shoes...yes, sarcastic
-I probably wouldn't say the dress thing but I would do the following at times...

There are a million things you can say and I am sure smoak will reply to your comments

Last edited by CMT247; 10-11-2010 at 09:55 PM.
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Old 10-11-2010, 10:32 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by YGOAMG View Post
alright ill show u what i think is wrong with ur advice
see below..



DVH examples arnt too bad imo
But showing that uve got other women around that u want...
i think thats not a good move... why would she want to be with someone who wants other girls..

the "IODs" or what ever u call them.. they are straight out dissrespectful..
for instance "walk away while she is talking to u.."
i wouldnt do that to someone i hated.. let alone a friend..

then the "negs"
wtf is that sh1t man... is that basically think of the dumbest sh1t u can think of and say it?
"your shoes look comfortable" wtf? when you u say this? would u say it sarcastically when she is wearing massive heels that obviously would be uncomfortable?
"that dress seems to be very popular these days"
unless u happen to know a thing or two about fashion.. dont talk about it.. coz u end up looking like a wanker..



but u know what.. im actually going to try this, just as a matter of principle.. ill let u know how it goes..


OP.. how old are u?
I doubt CRSmoak would even bother replying to this one
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Old 10-12-2010, 01:04 AM   #17
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kind of feel like you are taking those too seriously (maybe that isn't the right word) YGOAMG...

-walking away from girl... you don't just walk away, in my opinion, just tell them to "hold that thought" and then do it.
-being with other girls... this doesn't need to be stated directly, but there are other ways to show it, without actually saying it
-Comfy shoes...yes, sarcastic
-I probably wouldn't say the dress thing but I would do the following at times...

There are a million things you can say and I am sure smoak will reply to your comments
Actually you're misunderstanding the concepts behind them as well.

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I doubt CRSmoak would even bother replying to this one
Lol, no honestly I can see where the confusion is now. All this stuff is really just automatic to me, I guess sometimes I forget that people new to this need better explanations to the examples to truly help them find connections in terms of practical application. There is a lot to cover though and I'm gonna be pretty busy tomorrow. I'll try to explain it better but give me some time, it's not really something easily described in the form of text. Especially the body language stuff.
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Old 10-12-2010, 02:57 AM   #18
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Actually you're misunderstanding the concepts behind them as well.
Na, I understand the underlying reasons for doing them, but I think it would be better to explain those specific examples... by saying X she is thinking X... maybe it's better to show why, rather than site specific examples (and there are a million of them)

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Old 10-12-2010, 03:31 AM   #19
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Actually you're misunderstanding the concepts behind them as well.



Lol, no honestly I can see where the confusion is now. All this stuff is really just automatic to me, I guess sometimes I forget that people new to this need better explanations to the examples to truly help them find connections in terms of practical application. There is a lot to cover though and I'm gonna be pretty busy tomorrow. I'll try to explain it better but give me some time, it's not really something easily described in the form of text. Especially the body language stuff.
ill look forwrd to ur further explanation

are studying Psychology or something?


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who da F done that?
prestige warehouse or who?
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Old 10-12-2010, 06:56 AM   #20
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Originally Posted by YGOAMG View Post
alright ill show u what i think is wrong with ur advice
see below..



DVH examples arnt too bad imo
But showing that uve got other women around that u want...
i think thats not a good move... why would she want to be with someone who wants other girls..

the "IODs" or what ever u call them.. they are straight out dissrespectful..
for instance "walk away while she is talking to u.."
i wouldnt do that to someone i hated.. let alone a friend..

then the "negs"
wtf is that sh1t man... is that basically think of the dumbest sh1t u can think of and say it?
"your shoes look comfortable" wtf? when you u say this? would u say it sarcastically when she is wearing massive heels that obviously would be uncomfortable?
"that dress seems to be very popular these days"
unless u happen to know a thing or two about fashion.. dont talk about it.. coz u end up looking like a wanker..



but u know what.. im actually going to try this, just as a matter of principle.. ill let u know how it goes..


OP.. how old are u?
I'm 18.
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