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Love Line

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Old 11-05-2010, 12:31 PM   #1
TXRobd
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Some help needed, advice, what ever..

I am not young and I have been married and have two kids. I have had three very serious relationships in my life and this one I am currently and confusingly in has got me all jaded and tainted. Yes I fvcked it up with my own insecurity (not like me), but hey I have worked very hard to get back to the person I am inside. Confident, charming and a good guy in general. So on to the current:
Been with this girl for over 1 year and a half, we connected in a way that was euphoric and new to me, deep sh*t. Sex was amazing, and better we could just gaze into each others eyes and feel crazy.. well I wont give details of my failing. But I know what I did and have corrected the mental state that caused that sh*t. She broke up with me about over a month ago and I was cool. I went to my friends and discussed renting his room. All was good.

I would go out all the time meeting people and getting back in touch with old flames from before (never did sleep with them just hang out, I was not ready). So I am getting on track and fixing my unhappiness in the relationship, I did not break contact with her, in fact we lived together when we broke up and it was a little dirty at first because she wanted me to leave everything I had brought when we moved in and even things I had bought while together, I was not having that, I only really wanted my bed and my LCD TV, she wanted it all because she has kids (yes, a hot 39 year old that has 5 kids total. three that live with her and 2 that dont, and hopefully one that needs to G T F O) I am crazy, and I am ok with that, I like girls that bring some adventure in life and challenge my purpose and existence. Well out of the blue I get a text from her saying "I miss you and I miss making love to you and I crave it". I am sexual person, I am happy if I am getting on a reg basis, she did that. I reply to her with "and" she replies "I just miss you and sorry". I tell her that I am at my friends by the house to meet me at the store in 10 minutes and we will go from there. I get nothing confirming this other then, about at the ten minute mark she says she is walking into the store right now, I give it a few and go to the store casually and walk in, I see her down an isle by the entrance and she does not see me, I sneak up to her and whisper in her ear "whats up gorgeous". She responds "hey". Not the response I was looking for but hey she is playing it cool, so do I. I let her rant on how she misses me and how could I be like to her if I loved her so much (I did not cheat on her). I told her I was in a fvcked up state of mind and I had a lot going on before I met her. I told her I was sorry and that I am perfectly capable of moving forward and on because I know that was not who I am. We talk about whats been going on and she seems angered that I bought the bimmer. I took care of her and her kids and sacrificed my own fun. We make out a little and things are cool, I propose to just date each other and not have me live there. She seems into it, and she tells me she wants me so fvcking bad. I can't that night but I told her we will get together soon (this night happened about two weeks ago).

Next morning I get a text from when I was asleep saying that she loves me so much. I love her to and tell her that because she is my sunshine (ghey I know but true, I have grown so much with this chick). So I also tell her that it was good to see her last night, and to hold her and kiss her, followed with that I miss making love to her too. she gives me the mmmmm and asks when she can see me. I know how her life is with kids and how hard it will be to do what we both want if there are kids around. I tell her that I will go to the house after she drops off the kids at school and her oldest daughter (the G T F O one) leaves for college for the day. So about 9am, I will just go into work a little late, its cool. Its Monday. I get to the house at 9am and hug and kiss for a little bit and end up at the bed, doing what was expected. It was amazing for both of us.

We text a little after that and she keeps *****ing to me about what I did and I just keep telling her my mind is straight and I know what I gotta do and that its ok, she just has to forgive me. Then last friday I get a call from one of my friends who is also my exes friends bf. He is telling me he is at my exes house and that I should come over, they are drinking. When I get too drunk I am the biggest ass in the world. Vulgar, disrespectful and evil. I tell him yeah I will come for a few drinks. I get there and apparently she did not tell them we had slept together already, because my boy is telling me she is buzzing and prepped. At this point I am cool and wondering why her girl is cool with me when she supposedly was pissed at me for being bad to my ex. I am thinking setup. But I am good. They suddenly leave, because my boy keeps teeling his girl they need to go . His girl is wasted and wants to stay and even my ex is trying to get her out so we can have some "alone" time.

They leave and we go to the room (kids are at Gmas and oldest is out). We do the expected but she is trashed and its not all that. I tell her I gotta go before her oldest gets home, she will be pissed if I am here, like I said I was not the best to her, but I know what I did, I accept it and just want to fix it and move on, but I have respect for her to not have the drama. She tells me she wants me to stay and I say I cant even though I would love to just sleep again with her in my arms. I leave.

Sat. she wants to see me again, just her and I. This time I tell her that this time she comes to my place and we have a good night all alone and no worries. She cant because her youngest son (11), cant be there alone. She tells me her oldest daughter is going to be gone for most of the night. I was kind of pissed because I was going to go out with my boys, but they understand and they like my ex, she is cool. So I go over there. We have a good night, good drinks, good dinner that she cooked and no drunkeness, then right as we are about to go to the room, two of her friends (the one from the night before without her bf) come over trashed as ****, they are cool with me and the other friend is grabbing on me and sh*t, I keep pushing her off and my ex comes and holds on to me. We go outside to smoke and talk and stuff when her oldest duaghter comes home and starts tripping at me being there. Her friends both calm her down and tells her that they love each other and to let them be adults. It has been a problem of her oldest daughter the whole time we were together, she gets involved in our relationship. Well the friends end up taking the daughter and her friend to their house. We have mad crazy sex, good stuff.

Halloween I spend with her and her family and ditch a good halloween party for her, I spend about $200 on decorations because they did not have much, we take the two youngest trick or treating and the oldest daughter seems cool with me. The next day she says we are seeing each other too, much I agree, but want her to know that I am down whenever, I just understand her situation with the oldest.

This week has been nothing but her *****ing about what I did and how she loves me and shes afraid I wont change. She says that her oldest is *****ing at her and all that. I have changed and will walk this path. I assure I have and that I just went through some sh*t. Most of this *****ing went down yesterday. I am supposed to see her but here in SATX, its First Friday which is a really good time, drinking, art and the cool people from SATX come out (not the rednecks). So if she cannot accept the fact that I am changed and that it was a bad phase, I am thinking cut it off. But there is that part of me that wants to be with her bad and I love her. I want it to work this time. I did some crazy ****, reading her phone and sh*t. She is a massage therapist and though it made me a little uncomfortable at first I got to know her and she is good at it, not one of those that just does men either, she does all and in a very upscale professional place. She is the only deep tissue MT there, but I was uncomfortable that she still massaged a dude she dated before me. I seen texts between them and they were flirtatious. But since the break up she has told me that she does not see him, that nothing ever was going on with them. I trust her, I do. But damn why did it make so freaked. I still dont know and I dont care, I trust her and thats what matters, I told her I would never look at her phone again and I would be more trusting.

Today she wanted to see if I was still going to our friends birthday party because our friends husband really wants to see me (he is a friend). I said yes but now I got an invite to this crazy week long party in a town near here called Wurstfest, its a German festival that is a huge drink fest with lots of good beer. Saturday would be the only day I could go and my boys are up there camping and having a huge party. Part of me wants to go with my ex and the other part wants to go to the fest. Plus I think I will get to go out tonight because she is not feeling good. But should I go hang with her tonight or go with the guys. I mean I am there for her taking our dog to the vet, helping her out with bills right now because she is slow at work. But should I give in to her, when as of late all she does is ***** to me about what I have done?

Sorry about the book... damn guess that was a long one.

Last edited by TXRobd; 11-05-2010 at 12:33 PM.
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Old 11-05-2010, 03:44 PM   #2
TXRobd
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guess it was a long read... recap
I messed up, girl and I are kind of dating but wonder if I even should be, since I am getting crucified for my mistakes
want to know how I should play my weekend - go out with friends while she is sick or try to help her??
need advice with the issue that she probably is not going to get over my mistakes...
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Old 11-05-2010, 03:47 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TXRobd View Post
guess it was a long read... recap
I messed up, girl and I are kind of dating but wonder if I even should be, since I am getting crucified for my mistakes
want to know how I should play my weekend - go out with friends while she is sick or try to help her??
need advice with the issue that she probably is not going to get over my mistakes...
define messed up.
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Old 11-05-2010, 03:50 PM   #4
TXRobd
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I did some crazy ****, reading her phone and sh*t. She is a massage therapist and though it made me a little uncomfortable at first I got to know her and she is good at it, not one of those that just does men either, she does all and in a very upscale professional place. She is the only deep tissue MT there, but I was uncomfortable that she still massaged a dude she dated before me. I seen texts between them and they were flirtatious. But since the break up she has told me that she does not see him, that nothing ever was going on with them. I trust her, I do. But damn why did it make so freaked. I still dont know and I dont care, I trust her and thats what matters, I told her I would never look at her phone again and I would be more trusting.
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Old 11-05-2010, 04:46 PM   #5
Mayo
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How crazy did it get beyond reading her phone?
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Old 11-05-2010, 05:04 PM   #6
TXRobd
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It didn't she got pissed about me asking her to not see him professionally or not. It was a conflict of interest. She was very upset at the invasion of privacy and I get that. She is the only person I ever felt insecure with, had to do with her job. but I got over that hump but its still something in her head. I got so wrapped up in her I did not do much social interaction and neither did she. Then when she wanted to , I was like cool, I am gonna hang with the boys. She would get pissed to a point I started getting pissed about her wanting to hang with friends. that was early on and we got over that sh*t.
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Old 11-05-2010, 07:27 PM   #7
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She got mad because you felt insecure about the guy and checked her phone? She sounds pretty immature, if she was in your place I'm sure she would do the same... I don't think anyone would feel comfortable knowing their significant other keeps in touch with the ex.

You even mentioned some of the texts were flirtatious, if she has nothing to hide she wouldn't have made it a big deal
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Old 11-09-2010, 08:50 AM   #8
TXRobd
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Right, that is what I am saying. Its just a catch 22. Well update.

This weekend, I did not see her friday. She was sick, worked out for me. I went out to a friends b-day party. We met at a sushi place here in SA, within 20 minutes of being there my car got towed. Costing me $240 to get back, damn redneck fat@ss. They messed up my front bumper. Looks like I may get that M3 front sooner then I thought. Then we went to Karaoke next door from the sushi place, no I am not asian, LOL.. my friend is though hahaha.

After Karaoke we went to a friends house where we drank and drank and smoked and got all messed up till 4:30am and crashed there, met a few girls that were cool chicks. Woke up at 7:30am to get back to my house and detail the hell out of my car and try to bring my roomies FD RX-7 back to life. Well with the towing I had to find something really cheap to do on Sat night. So I had made plans to go play Poker at a friends house. No not the kind where a diamond ring is put in the pot or any real big hands... We play cash games for a $1... cool people is the best part. So I get sat next to this cool chick, artist type, eclectic and hippy to boot, my type. I mean I am after-all a hippy that has a deep passion for cars and modding them. So we are playing and I come up with a boat 3's over queens and I go all in, well well, my good friend takes me out with queens over threes. sumab*tch. I just coach the hippy chick after that, we have great conversation and my ex is telling me to come over, blah blah. She says she is alone and she did not go to that birthday because she was sick. I almost decided to go before I commited to poker. damn glad I didn't. Well girl at the poker game ends up leaving after a few hours saying she is tired, I get that most people cannot play as long as we do. We ended up playing till 4am and that was a short one due to the fact we were up till 4:30am the night before. I was beat.

Woke up at 8am on Sunday, feeling like crap. Took some stuff and thought maybe I will get to go back to sleep. hahaha, that did not happen. My ex called me and wanted me to help her with taking down halloween decorations, hey I put them up, least I could do is take them down. So I go and it was good, I played distant and all that, after I got them down I went and hung out with her in the bedroom. Where I think we can not be in there without doing it... my bad. So shortly after I tell her I gotta go do laundry. Monday I was out sick.
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Old 11-09-2010, 03:18 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by zikhkd View Post
She got mad because you felt insecure about the guy and checked her phone? She sounds pretty immature, if she was in your place I'm sure she would do the same... I don't think anyone would feel comfortable knowing their significant other keeps in touch with the ex.

You even mentioned some of the texts were flirtatious, if she has nothing to hide she wouldn't have made it a big deal
+1

LMAO, you need to trust your instincts man. No one should be sending sh1t like that to their ex. Especially after a year...really fvcking immature of her.

I can tell by your latest post that you are still pretty hurt about the situation. You sound extremely bitter toward your (now) ex. Don't take her back. Realize that you need to find a chick who can act a little bit more mature. Furthermore, you need to realize that you need to act a bit more mature before you can settle again.
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Old 11-09-2010, 03:24 PM   #10
TXRobd
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Keno, Agreed man. I am just out for fun right now. It does upset me that she can sit there and play with me. I mean I am not a game that you win or lose, there are so many different scenarios depending on how you play me. Sublime said it best with Stepping Razors, If you wanna Live, Treat me good... lol.

Life is too short to take it too serious. I mean there are nights I just wanna see my ex and live the rest of our life. Other nights I could seriously do without. But this is the joys and harms of getting with girls that are not normal... I know, I just dont know if I should cut her loose or not. There are pros and cons of each.
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Old 11-09-2010, 03:37 PM   #11
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I did some crazy ****, reading her phone and sh*t. She is a massage therapist and though it made me a little uncomfortable at first I got to know her and she is good at it, not one of those that just does men either, she does all and in a very upscale professional place. She is the only deep tissue MT there, but I was uncomfortable that she still massaged a dude she dated before me. I seen texts between them and they were flirtatious. But since the break up she has told me that she does not see him, that nothing ever was going on with them. I trust her, I do. But damn why did it make so freaked. I still dont know and I dont care, I trust her and thats what matters, I told her I would never look at her phone again and I would be more trusting.
dude you did absolutely nothing wrong. If this girl values your relationship she will see if through your eyes. She sounds ridiculous. I would laugh in my gf's face if she tried something like this and acted like it was ok.
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Old 11-09-2010, 03:41 PM   #12
TXRobd
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DylloS there was a lot of tension I put on it to when she would go to work, I would say ooohh seeing (guys name) today and stupid insecure stuff like that. But there were serious times that I would ask here WTF why cant you just nix that guy. Oh well I am moving past it and need some advise on how to approach her about her faults since I am working mine its time for her to grow up, if she cant. Then I move on.
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