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Old 06-01-2011, 11:01 AM   #41
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Great thread guys. Lots of good advice in here.

I pretty much agree with everything snikwad has said. The bottom line is that OP is 19 and now is not the time to be chained to a girl with these kind of issues. You will look back and regret it.

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Originally Posted by SLVR JDM View Post
From what I'm reading this chick has a fear of intimacy and is going to be scared no matter what. She's using the bc thing as an excuse because she's truly terrified of the act of sex. If she doesn't want to be touched, scared of skeet, telling her folks about everything, etc. she has something wrong with her way of thinking about the whole act. This isn't going to be easy to change and could be a sign of her lack of interest and fear of intimacy and/or sex.

She sounds like isn't educated on the subject at all outside of the mental hurdles. Decide whether this possible long term issue is worth waiting for this girl. You both have to be happy in your relationship or it isn't going to work anyway.

Also - it isn't likely that you will stay together anyway. 19yr olds in relationships aren't exactly long term material most of the time. It can happen, but more than likely this will be a learning experience for you rather than a long term commitment.
But +1 on this too.

Except I would add that it's important to understand that her mental issues stem from her parents. That mom who refuses to take her to the gyno is a huge red flag. Her mindset is not her fault and it would be unfair of you to blame her for "mistreating" you by withholding sex. Don't be accusatory when discussing the subject with her. She has real issues that she needs to work through.

OP, let's get down to it... if what you're really asking us is how you can eject from this dead end relationship and find a girl who puts out without looking like a scumbag then citing your differing views on intimacy is the way to do it.

She will cry and say all you care about is sex.

Then you say: It's not simply about sex. Tell her that trust is a very important part of a relationship to you and if the trust between the two of you can't continue to evolve then you don't see how the relationship can continue. Center the conversation around your differences in emotional maturity and divergent views on personal responsibility. Blame the age difference if you have to.

Then dip out and go get laid.
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Old 06-01-2011, 11:03 AM   #42
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Tell me this, how often do you make out, get her naked, and suck her boobies? If it's not almost every time you're alone together then there is a problem and it is not you.


but i agree, if you aren't sucking them tittays and finger blasting her multiple times a week right now, not having sex at 19 will be the least of your problems. stay with her and this non sex will turn into not sex as married adults in your 20's. GET OUT NOW!
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Old 06-01-2011, 11:09 AM   #43
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You can get into a major car accident this evening and die a virgin...is that how you want your life to end?
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Old 06-01-2011, 11:29 AM   #44
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I wouldn't jump to any conclusions.

I dated a Catholic High School teacher who was saving it for marriage. She was definitely nervous and a bit immature emotionally about it when we finally did have sex, but she wasn't a victim growing up of sexual abuse.
lol I know. I'm just messing around. Kinda.

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you should cheat on her but keep her on the side until she comes around. that way you'll both be happy with the pressure of sex out of the relationship. and if she finds out, tell her that you agree that sex isn't an important part of the relationship and thought she wouldn't mind
hahha omg

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but i agree, if you aren't sucking them tittays and finger blasting her multiple times a week right now, not having sex at 19 will be the least of your problems. stay with her and this non sex will turn into not sex as married adults in your 20's. GET OUT NOW!
Seriously man. I'm curious how often they "mess around"
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Old 06-01-2011, 11:36 AM   #45
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You've got 2 hands of your own, so she's not bringing anything new to the table.
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Old 06-01-2011, 11:48 AM   #46
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OP, I was in a similar situation as you. When I was 17 i had a girlfriend that wouldnt even make out with me let alone sleep with me. Stricly lip kissing. It didnt bother me at first but it got repetitive fast. Cause I lost my virginity when i was 15 so I had been having sex for a while and I mean its fun. But i never pressured her to do anything cause i wanted to be a good guy and respect her. Well, she broke up with me and her very next boyfriend started fvcking the **** out of her not even 3 months after we broke up. I was a little pissed like "Why didnt she do that ish with me?" But i quickly found a girl that was DTF and i was all good.


Long story short. She will most defiantly start sleeping with the next guy she is with. All these guys have given great advice. Use it.
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Old 06-01-2011, 12:22 PM   #47
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I'm going to have to break with the majority of opinion in this thread and say you should not break up with because she won't have sex with you. It is not a question of you being a selfish a**hole. It is a question of just how much sex matters to you and just how much you value everything else in your relationship besides sex.

I would ask you these two questions:

Apart from your lack of sex, are you happy with your relationship?
Do both of you share common interests and enjoy each others company?

A relationship can exist without sex. Although it seems impossible to many currently in their late teens and twenties to whom sex has been hyped and sold in the media as the end all and be all, you can have a fulfilling relationship without sex. If you enjoy her company and love her as much as you say you do I would think you'd be willing to wait. Besides, she is giving you handjobs. And while they have become boring for you, given her attitudes as you described them, I would not be surprised if she was still quite uncomfortable with even giving you them, even if she doesn't say it. It strikes me that by giving you handjobs she is recognizing that you want to have sex and even though she doesn't want to, she is trying to compromise.

You are in a relationship with this girl and you have to expect to make a few compromises here and there. It comes with the territory.

Finally, a word about studying abroad in Italy. Get this all clearly resolved and make sure you are both know where you stand before she leaves if you still want to maintain a relationship with her. If you both love each other, her stay in Italy will be extraordinarily painful for you both. I've found from personal experience that long distance relationships will break weak couples and bind strong couples together even more firmly.
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Old 06-01-2011, 12:28 PM   #48
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I'm going to have to break with the majority of opinion in this thread and say you should not break up with because she won't have sex with you. It is not a question of you being a selfish a**hole. It is a question of just how much sex matters to you and just how much you value everything else in your relationship besides sex.

I would ask you these two questions:

Apart from your lack of sex, are you happy with your relationship?
Do both of you share common interests and enjoy each others company?

A relationship can exist without sex. Although it seems impossible to many currently in their late teens and twenties to whom sex has been hyped and sold in the media as the end all and be all, you can have a fulfilling relationship without sex. If you enjoy her company and love her as much as you say you do I would think you'd be willing to wait. Besides, she is giving you handjobs. And while they have become boring for you, given her attitudes as you described them, I would not be surprised if she was still quite uncomfortable with even giving you them, even if she doesn't say it. It strikes me that by giving you handjobs she is recognizing that you want to have sex and even though she doesn't want to, she is trying to compromise.

You are in a relationship with this girl and you have to expect to make a few compromises here and there. It comes with the territory.

Finally, a word about studying abroad in Italy. Get this all clearly resolved and make sure you are both know where you stand before she leaves if you still want to maintain a relationship with her. If you both love each other, her stay in Italy will be extraordinarily painful for you both. I've found from personal experience that long distance relationships will break weak couples and bind strong couples together even more firmly.
yeah that's called friends.
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Old 06-01-2011, 01:52 PM   #49
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Are you serious. The kid is 19 what's all this meaningful sh1t u speak of. They won't Much longer once she starts working on her "plan".
You know how women get with their plans.
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Originally Posted by Osprey View Post
I'm going to have to break with the majority of opinion in this thread and say you should not break up with because she won't have sex with you. It is not a question of you being a selfish a**hole. It is a question of just how much sex matters to you and just how much you value everything else in your relationship besides sex.

I would ask you these two questions:

Apart from your lack of sex, are you happy with your relationship?
Do both of you share common interests and enjoy each others company?

A relationship can exist without sex. Although it seems impossible to many currently in their late teens and twenties to whom sex has been hyped and sold in the media as the end all and be all, you can have a fulfilling relationship without sex. If you enjoy her company and love her as much as you say you do I would think you'd be willing to wait. Besides, she is giving you handjobs. And while they have become boring for you, given her attitudes as you described them, I would not be surprised if she was still quite uncomfortable with even giving you them, even if she doesn't say it. It strikes me that by giving you handjobs she is recognizing that you want to have sex and even though she doesn't want to, she is trying to compromise.

You are in a relationship with this girl and you have to expect to make a few compromises here and there. It comes with the territory.

Finally, a word about studying abroad in Italy. Get this all clearly resolved and make sure you are both know where you stand before she leaves if you still want to maintain a relationship with her. If you both love each other, her stay in Italy will be extraordinarily painful for you both. I've found from personal experience that long distance relationships will break weak couples and bind strong couples together even more firmly.
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Old 06-01-2011, 02:02 PM   #50
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you should cheat on her but keep her on the side until she comes around. that way you'll both be happy with the pressure of sex out of the relationship. and if she finds out, tell her that you agree that sex isn't an important part of the relationship and thought she wouldn't mind


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A relationship can exist without sex.
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yeah that's called friends.
God I love this forum
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Old 06-01-2011, 02:41 PM   #51
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Apart from your lack of sex, are you happy with your relationship?
Do both of you share common interests and enjoy each others company?

A relationship can exist without sex. Although it seems impossible to many currently in their late teens and twenties to whom sex has been hyped and sold in the media as the end all and be all, you can have a fulfilling relationship without sex. If you enjoy her company and love her as much as you say you do I would think you'd be willing to wait.

.
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yeah that's called friends.
DylloS has it right. Thats just a chick friend.

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Originally Posted by Penguin Koolaid View Post




God I love this forum
Stuff like this is why I come check the love line from time to time.




But im still in for how aften do you get a Handjob and get her naked and all that. Cause if its rarely then your fighting a uphill battle sir.
If its often, then **** stick it in she'll go and problem solved. But dont rape her obviously. Just a little coaxing. I had girl simalr to you before she would give me head, handjob and all but wouldnt sleep with me, one night a little coaxing ended in a very good night. She was a Friend with benifits for a while untill she found her curent BF. Was great stuff.

Oh and Im 20 so im right in your age. Man, even without game college is a breading ground for girls that just want to fvck. Hit a few Parties and you will be golden.
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Old 06-01-2011, 03:14 PM   #52
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I'm going to have to break with the majority of opinion in this thread and say you should not break up with because she won't have sex with you.

-snip-

1) Life is too short to waste time being miserable in a relationship that isn't fulfilling your needs.

2) This kid is 19. This girl will be no where to be found by the time he's late 20's and actually looking to settle down. And he will be a completely different person with different needs. He doesn't know that yet but we all know it's true.
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Old 06-01-2011, 03:33 PM   #53
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can't get her prego in the poop shoot.

dude, you're 19, you think you know what love is, but you haven't experienced enough to be honest, break it off, go have fun, or you're going to stray later on in life when you are married. get out there and go wild, then settle down. Don't start with being settled down or you'll go buck wild later.
about the poop shoot ahahaha
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Old 06-01-2011, 03:49 PM   #54
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Here's advice from a recently married guy: if this is a hang-up for you where you're unhappy, break up. It's painfully obvious that she's too immature for sex right now, and that's also fine-everyone gets there at different times.

You also have no idea how young 19 is. I started having sex a few years before that (26 now) and I was probably two people removed from who I am now. I hadn't slept with a ton of women before I got married (less than 20/pretty sure our generations avg is in the 30's) but I didn't need to. There's very little you'll wonder about exploring when you find the right partner, which you don't have (sexually anyway) right now.

Finally...you need to get out there and find what you like before you start settling. I mean, if you were on a deserted island and only ate a crap sandwich every day, that would taste just fine to you, until someone came from another island with an ice cold beer and some BBQ.

All I'm saying is that you're in sandwiches right now and somewhere out there is BBQ. And friendship too. My wife is not only my best friend, she's a fantastic cook (and an animal in the sack to boot). If you just get out there and look, you can find that. And any strange ass you pick up along the way will just be a fridge magnet along your journey.

Good luck, honestly.
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Old 06-01-2011, 03:50 PM   #55
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I am in a happy relationship. We have our disagreements but we get along great and always enjoy each other's company. During college, she would dorm in the city so we'd see each other every weekend. We'd get naked and do our fake sex, I suck her tattas, and she would finish and then she would give me a handjob. Now that she is home, it will still hopefully happen as often, I just have to bring her to my house and lock the door.

However, we spoke last night and she brought up how she feels like every time we are together, all we are doing is making out.

Just thinking about breaking up with her really hurts me. I really do care about her. I just have to tell her how I feel about sex.
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Old 06-01-2011, 06:16 PM   #56
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I am in a happy relationship. We have our disagreements but we get along great and always enjoy each other's company. During college, she would dorm in the city so we'd see each other every weekend. We'd get naked and do our fake sex, I suck her tattas, and she would finish and then she would give me a handjob. Now that she is home, it will still hopefully happen as often, I just have to bring her to my house and lock the door.

However, we spoke last night and she brought up how she feels like every time we are together, all we are doing is making out.

Just thinking about breaking up with her really hurts me. I really do care about her. I just have to tell her how I feel about sex.
Have you actually thought when her plan happens and what you'll be doing?

Is she the type to hold your hand around a bunch of people or kiss you or anything like that?
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Old 06-01-2011, 06:33 PM   #57
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Have you actually thought when her plan happens and what you'll be doing?

Is she the type to hold your hand around a bunch of people or kiss you or anything like that?
Idk what we'd be doing.

She's not show offy in front of people.
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Old 06-01-2011, 09:13 PM   #58
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I say drop her and move on. She's in a different place mentally.
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Old 06-01-2011, 11:21 PM   #59
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Didn't read the thread, but LOL'ed at the OP. Thanks for the laughs, buddy. Also, she is probably blowing some dude now right while getting her pooper destroyed by some dude on the basketball team.
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Old 06-01-2011, 11:41 PM   #60
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Tell her you need head or you gotta bounce. It's a guy thing tell her.
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