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Love Line

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Old 05-14-2014, 12:08 AM   #1
JetLif3
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Friends with benefits, advice?

So this girl and I have a decent history, we've had a "friend with benefits" thing off and on for about 3 years now. We've never dated but it always gets to the point where we're practically dating by the end of the summer. This being because she goes to school in another city, but comes home for the summer.

It started out with just hooking up but then became where we are with each other all the time. I don't deny having emotional attachment, but it sucks because I know she's going to leave after a few months.

After not talking to her for most of this year, things are back on once again and it's just as it always is. But during that break I've been going out with different girls and came to the conclusion that I would definitely like to have a relationship with her. I haven't actually dated a girl in 5 years, just hooked up.

Problem is, she still has several years at her university which is about a 2 1/2 hour drive from me. On top of this, I know her feelings are mutual but she downplays them and thinks dating isn't for her. I know she cares about me, but she's been hurt and used before and builds a wall.

So I need advice, should I play it cool and if things go well again, try to date? Or just keep the friends with benefits thing, or cut her off completely?


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Old 05-14-2014, 08:55 AM   #2
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Getting a girl to fall for you is easy, you have already got the hard part done...Try to spend more time with her this summer and be honest and tell her exactly how you feel. Even if she doesn't want to date you, don't change a thing or be a douche' about it. Continue to be nice to her, hook up and keep being a chill guy. It will work out.
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Old 05-14-2014, 08:59 AM   #3
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If you want a relationship you need to be upfront with her like now about it. That gives you the summer to develop your relationship before she leaves in the fall. 2.5 hours away isn't bad, that's an easy weekend trip but certainly won't be an every night type of thing.
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Old 05-14-2014, 09:11 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by Green_Shine View Post
Getting a girl to fall for you is easy, you have already got the hard part done...Try to spend more time with her this summer and be honest and tell her exactly how you feel. Even if she doesn't want to date you, don't change a thing or be a douche' about it. Continue to be nice to her, hook up and keep being a chill guy. It will work out.
I almost told him to play the game and become distant but that sh1t gets exhausting lol.

OP. Talk to her. If it works it works.
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Old 05-14-2014, 11:16 AM   #5
JetLif3
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DylloS is right, playing games won't help me with her. It's weird though, I never thought about wanting a relationship since high school, haven't even tried. She's just always been my main squeeze and it turned into something I didn't expect.

I'm not sweating it, I already get most of the good parts of a relationship without the bad, and I feel like we'll eventually end up together anyway even if it isn't this year. Things just click well.


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Old 05-19-2014, 01:06 AM   #6
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So a little update.

We've been hanging out every 3 days or so, but she basically just comes over for sex and leaves. We don't talk much in between.

Maybe she's just adjusting to being back home and not at college, idk. I've been trying to hang out or talk more but I don't want to annoy her or seem needy. Perhaps I'm just antsy since I've decided I'd like a relationship, and maybe pressing her too much.

Should I just fall back and keep it the way it is for now? It sucks because normally I was the one who would just hit it and send her home but now the tables have turned lol. She doesn't know I want to date her, I'm waiting until things are more mutual like they use to be. Is it a lost cause or should I just wait it out and see?

She's not my only option but she's the one I want, and we've been banging almost exclusively for the last 3 years so it's practically my gf, but she isn't.

Feels suck.




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Old 05-19-2014, 08:23 AM   #7
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do either of you give any signs that you want something else?
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Old 05-19-2014, 08:30 AM   #8
JetLif3
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We did last summer, but when she went to college I just let her do her thing and chilled with her when she was in town and on holidays. Now that she's back it seems different but it's only been a few weeks.

But for us to have this thing going for this long, there has to be something there worth trying, I just need her to give it a shot.


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Old 05-19-2014, 09:05 AM   #9
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We did last summer, but when she went to college I just let her do her thing and chilled with her when she was in town and on holidays. Now that she's back it seems different but it's only been a few weeks.

But for us to have this thing going for this long, there has to be something there worth trying, I just need her to give it a shot.


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had a thing with my recent ex. Lasted 13 years. Glad we tried but seemed we're better at just hooking up and hanging out without labels.

All you can do is try.
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Old 05-19-2014, 09:18 AM   #10
217Bimmer
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first, post a pic. it's the rule.

comes over for sex and then leaves? dude, this girl is getting stuffed with literally thousands of dix while away for school. she is not gf material, unless you like being cheated on. let me guess, her parents are divorced and her dad is an asshole.

ps - get yo'self tested.
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Old 05-19-2014, 09:27 AM   #11
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She's not my only option but she's the one I want, and we've been banging almost exclusively for the last 3 years so it's practically my gf, but she isn't.
False.

You think she goes months and months in between seeing you without finding some dude to help her with her "needs"?
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Old 05-19-2014, 11:09 AM   #12
JetLif3
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Lol you guys are funny. This was her first year at college and like I said, I saw her every 3-4 weeks. Before that we were together all the time. It wouldn't matter if she was seeing other people since we aren't dating, and I've been with other girls as well, so I can't care.

Griffin has seen pics he can vouch.


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Old 05-19-2014, 11:46 AM   #13
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Banging exclusively does not mean seeing other people or did I miss a few too many english classes?

If griffin has seen pics then we should be able to as well.
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Old 05-19-2014, 12:27 PM   #14
JetLif3
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I guess you did since you missed the "almost exclusively" part. I'm not naive, if she were getting stuffed with thousands of dix then I wouldn't be asking for advice, I would just dead it. I never asked if she were getting around at college, but thanks for your input.

What kind of pics do you want?


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Old 05-20-2014, 08:14 AM   #15
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Should I just fall back and keep it the way it is for now? It sucks because normally I was the one who would just hit it and send her home but now the tables have turned lol. She doesn't know I want to date her, I'm waiting until things are more mutual like they use to be. Is it a lost cause or should I just wait it out and see?

Keep it the way it is. Like I said earlier, don't be a douche' about it or you'll push her away. Try to talk to her more and do stuff with her. Like she comes over, ask her if she wants to grab some food before you guys fawk.
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Old 05-20-2014, 11:11 AM   #16
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Originally Posted by JetLif3 View Post
We've been hanging out every 3 days or so, but she basically just comes over for sex and leaves. We don't talk much in between
She's got someone that is filling the emotional need and fulfilling future stability needs.

She's comparing both of you sexually right now.

Give it to her like you've never given it to her.

Ride this out because soon enough she is going to pick emotional connection and a stable future or a good nights slaying.

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Old 05-20-2014, 12:37 PM   #17
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She's got someone that is filling the emotional need and fulfilling future stability needs.

She's comparing both of you sexually right now.

Give it to her like you've never given it to her.

Ride this out because soon enough she is going to pick emotional connection and a stable future or a good nights slaying.

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You do not know this.
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Old 05-20-2014, 12:43 PM   #18
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You do not know this.
I don't...

But neither do any of the folks sidelining this, time will tell.

OP I wish you the best of luck.

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Old 06-02-2014, 06:25 PM   #19
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Hey OP, if things doesn't work out with your chick would you be interested in buying a used fleshlight?


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Old 06-06-2014, 12:35 PM   #20
M3Inline6
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OP, I'm going to agree with those who suggested that you have an honest conversation with her about how you feel and what your intentions are towards her. You two have a connection (..and I'd wager that at this point it has gone beyond the superficial), so you really have nothing to lose by trying to take the extra step with her. With that said, prepare yourself for a "No!" Not because she isn't interested or because she doesn't have feelings for you, but because of the school/distance issue (..which I agree isn't vast, but is a consideration nonetheless) and the fact that there are some emotional demons there. What those demons are is anybody's guess, but they are present. Good luck! Keep us posted.



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Hey OP, if things doesn't work out with your chick would you be interested in buying a used fleshlight?


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I was waiting for one of these types of comments to pop up in a serious thread.

Last edited by M3Inline6; 06-06-2014 at 12:37 PM.
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