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Love Line

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Old 07-26-2013, 03:00 PM   #2361
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as the last one? Def not. There was no "break" indicated. It was over.
Didn't you kind of sit back for a while and then approach her direct?

It probably wouldn't have worked out regardless if you had let your last gf make the move, but I think it needs to be your current gf's choice... I think she already knows how you feel, so having a sit-down to discuss your feelings might not improve the situation?


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Old 07-26-2013, 03:05 PM   #2362
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Didn't you kind of sit back for a while and then approach her direct?

It probably wouldn't have worked out regardless if you had let your last gf make the move, but I think it needs to be your current gf's choice... I think she already knows how you feel, so having a sit-down to discuss your feelings might not improve the situation?


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You're right. It probably wont. I just don't want to sit on my ass wondering for weeks you know. In 2 weeks she probably wont know but 3,4,5,6 weeks out she should definitely have an idea of what's going on. I just don't want to be hopeful for that long only to be told it's not going to work. But, she may not have any clue for weeks so I might not have a choice. So waiting and seeing how she feels is probably best. I want a little silence between us but we don't have to completely ignore each other until she figures everything out

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Old 07-27-2013, 02:09 AM   #2363
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You're right. It probably wont. I just don't want to sit on my ass wondering for weeks you know. In 2 weeks she probably wont know but 3,4,5,6 weeks out she should definitely have an idea of what's going on. I just don't want to be hopeful for that long only to be told it's not going to work. But, she may not have any clue for weeks so I might not have a choice. So waiting and seeing how she feels is probably best. I want a little silence between us but we don't have to completely ignore each other until she figures everything out
Idleness is tough, I think we have all been there from time to time.

She is aware of your eagerness and excitement to move forward with the relationship; she is probably there too, but ask yourself, is there anything you can do or say right now that will improve your current situation? You are already showing high value, so I think the answer is no.

So, if you can't do anything else, then I think it is best to try and at least maintain your own sanity; keeping a positive attitude towards the situation and your own life in general will, in the very least, make you feel a whole lot better. Long drawn-out drama is really taxing stuff.

I for one wish I had slowed down at times and acted in a more easy-going and less intense manner regarding past relationship issues - I think we all want to be care free, positive, and rational when it comes to these moments, but when you are actually in it, taking those steps isn't so easy. Right now you have a perfect opportunity to go down the right path... Regardless of what happens you will feel better in the long run.

Be positive and responsive. Don't drown in the negativity... If she says something rash, address it briefly (don't ignore it) but then move on to something else.

Sexist perhaps, but women aren't always very good in intensely emotional situations, so you need to draw her away from her crappy thoughts as much as possible so she doesn't drown in them... Aka be the non-intense thing in her life and she will have an easier time getting through her current issues (her having another focus, someone positive, aka you, will be very helpful in the long run).

How many times did I use the word positive in this post? =P

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Old 07-27-2013, 02:17 AM   #2364
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Idleness is tough, I think we have all been there from time to time.

She is aware of your eagerness and excitement to move forward with the relationship; she is probably there too, but ask yourself, is there anything you can do or say right now that will improve your current situation? You are already showing high value, so I think the answer is no.

So, if you can't do anything else, then I think it is best to try and at least maintain your own sanity; keeping a positive attitude towards the situation and your own life in general will, in the very least, make you feel a whole lot better. Long drawn-out drama is really taxing stuff.

I for one wish I had slowed down at times and acted in a more easy-going and less intense manner regarding past relationship issues - I think we all want to be care free, positive, and rational when it comes to these moments, but when you are actually in it, taking those steps isn't so easy. Right now you have a perfect opportunity to go down the right path... Regardless of what happens you will feel better in the long run.


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This seems incredibly accurate for me right now.

I'm slowly becoming the person I would have previously thrown rocks at..
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Old 07-27-2013, 02:39 AM   #2365
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How did this happen! Alcohol. That's how. She showed up to the same bar as me and this happened.
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Old 07-27-2013, 02:43 AM   #2366
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Old 07-27-2013, 04:24 AM   #2367
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CMT has definitely dropped some good advice over the years in this subforum. Casual distance positive attitude and being a conduit for healing sound like the right things. I wonder what m3inline6's mystery girl's advice will be Good luck Solly you already know what we're saying makes sense and if it feels right to you then the consensus would dictate you're on the right path Now the fun part of hoping she is too
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Old 07-27-2013, 06:19 AM   #2368
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Oh god I'm drunk. Some how lots of conversation about how dumb it is to take a break happened. She said we're back together. Lets see what happens when we're sober.
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Old 07-27-2013, 06:45 AM   #2369
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Oh god I'm drunk. Some how lots of conversation about how dumb it is to take a break happened. She said we're back together. Lets see what happens when we're sober.
You should dump her now and get the upper hand.

Tell her that you didn't like the way she made you feel and that your too old to deal with that BS. Tell her its over and watch her beg for you to take her back.
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Old 07-27-2013, 09:04 AM   #2370
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Don't mean to take away from the solly discussion but I'm getting married today. It's been a good single life but I'm happy to have found my wife to be.

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Old 07-27-2013, 10:38 AM   #2371
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Don't mean to take away from the solly discussion but I'm getting married today. It's been a good single life but I'm happy to have found my wife to be.

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Happy for you man.

Sneaky, I think I handled things ok last night. I played it cool for a bit then told her I'm not playing these games anymore. If we care about each other so much there's no reason for this bull sh1t. She told me she loved me all night and called me her boy friend so we'll see how this goes. Who knows if it will last a few days or what.
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Old 07-27-2013, 11:12 AM   #2372
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Happy for you man.

Sneaky, I think I handled things ok last night. I played it cool for a bit then told her I'm not playing these games anymore. If we care about each other so much there's no reason for this bull sh1t. She told me she loved me all night and called me her boy friend so we'll see how this goes. Who knows if it will last a few days or what.
So awesome man! Congrats, I really hope it all works out...now if I can only find myself someone like that...
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Old 07-27-2013, 01:20 PM   #2373
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Good luck Solly, I really hope she has gotten past the boulders she was holding on to and if not at least now she has the hindsight not to make rash decisions that effect you like it did again.

Congrats SamDoe1 !!! Wish you the best for your marriage I'm just hurt I wasn't invited for the open bar
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Old 07-27-2013, 11:51 PM   #2374
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So I bailed on going to a birthday party tonight to avoid the most recent chick I got involved with.

Back when we first started talking/hooking up, she had told me about this other dude in our group of mutual friends. Apparently he really liked her and they went on a date before we started talking, but she didn't really like him so she friend zoned him, and thats when I came into the picture apparently. He's a nice guy, genuinely polite, but just so dull and boring, I thought I was reserved, but this dude is on another level. She and I had a lot of fun for about 2 months, but then the drama started and now we don't talk at all. Every time I see her when I'm out and we have mutual friends around, she turns into a sourpuss, as if I ruined her day by showing up. She avoids all contact with me, doesn't say hi or bye, and just disappears as much as possible even when I try to be a gentleman. I did nothing wrong in our stint, she basically dumped me because she said things were going too quickly (funny, because I never mentioned being exclusive ever, she was the one who said she was 'falling' for me on a consistent basis). Anyways. I don't want to sound like a paranoid idiot here, but I have a feeling she and that other guy are talking now because they've been hanging out a lot.

I was planning on going to this party just to fvck with her again and ruin her night by showing up, but if she and this other guy are talking now, I don't think I'm ready to see it. I feel like a pussy.
Throwback to this story... Went to a party at her house last night, apparently I blacked out because I don't remember anything past midnight. My buddy brought me home before I had any signs of getting sloppy. Woke up to see these texts, last time we talked was almost 3 months ago. Bricks were shat
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Old 07-27-2013, 11:52 PM   #2375
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Oh, and my hunch was right. She's dating that other dude now.

Apparently I apologized for not talking to her anymore. God dammit.


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Old 07-28-2013, 02:11 PM   #2376
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^Happens oh well. I wouldn't worry about it, she's dating some dude, you got other things going on. This is the advice I am trying to follow myself.

I was out last night at this club..drunk as a skunk, partied my balls off..dancing like an idiot but having fun doing it..this girl I used to date, her "crew" was there, but as far as I can tell the girl I dated wasn't there..anyway I didn't bother to say hi or go talk to them..although they kept looking at me.. I just kept dancing with my neighbor lol. cool story i know.
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Old 07-29-2013, 09:45 AM   #2377
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well we had a good weekend. Spend every night together, talked about everything. She needed a little kick in the ass to understand that timing is never perfect and when you have these issues you work through them together. I did my best not to convince her to get back with me. I wanted her to tell me she was ready. Of course I'm still going to have my defenses up these next few weeks. I want to see a little extra from her. It seems her biggest issue was that she didn't want to "do it all over again" meaning fall deep in love only to have it end. That is something no one can predict.

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Old 07-29-2013, 10:04 AM   #2378
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well we had a good weekend. Spend every night together, talked about everything. She needed a little kick in the ass to understand that timing is never perfect and when you have these issues you work through them together. I did my best not to convince her to get back with me. I wanted her to tell me she was ready. Of course I'm still going to have my defenses up these next few weeks. I want to see a little extra from her. It seems her biggest issue was that she didn't want to "do it all over again" meaning fall deep in love only to have it end. That is something no one can predict.
Glad to hear that you two are together and trying. Push through this!!!!


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Old 07-29-2013, 10:05 AM   #2379
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Oh god I'm drunk. Some how lots of conversation about how dumb it is to take a break happened. She said we're back together. Lets see what happens when we're sober.
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Old 07-29-2013, 10:13 AM   #2380
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looks like we're good.

A little more info on friday night.

Met up with some friends. Her roommate is a bartender at this bar/restaurant we were at. She was off but hanging out with us. I was positive she was telling my gf I was there. Apparently not. She just shows up and walks up behind me as I'm talking to my friends gf about her lol.

She said I was mean to her when she showed up. We talked about everything I told her what we're doing is stupid and she was pretty quite but I could tell she agreed. So we just started drinking a bit and loosening up. Went down the river to another bar and she was much more affectionate in public. She was always a little reserved at this place being that the manager there is an old friend of her ex. She apparently didn't care anymore. She talked about serious **** again like kids, marriage etc. She just needs to chill the hell out I think. She scares herself way too much about everything.

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