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Love Line

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Old 01-25-2013, 02:13 PM   #581
mcr_driver
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You guys are awesome, srsly.

Say I stop talking to her via texts, but still stay 'polite' when I see her on campus. What should I do if she's the one who texts me first? Some would probably say don't even respond, some would say to be very short...

Ideas? For all I know, it won't ever happen, which is also fine
Does it really matter? It just validates that she is reaching out for attention and not actually for you. Don't ignore her, move past her, she's not worth the effort.

I'll even play devils advocate for a second and show you the 15 chess moves of how this plays out.
Let's assume she is interested in you now and wants to make the effort. This is only gonna happen again down the line and you'll be back at square one.
What if she doesn't, then it's a matter of are you both willing to put in the effort?
Considering the facts as they are she isn't and perhaps in a way you aren't as well because you may have a jaded perspective now because of her past actions.
There are so many what if's in a relationship whether it's a week old or 15 years old. The bottom line is how much of a balance both people are investing in to the relationship. That starts from day one with your foundation.
Honestly speaking my ex and I had a horrible foundation it was not as balanced as I thought and it eventually showed itself. I wasn't looking at things clearly and it bit me in the ass. Take a step back and if what all of us, not just me, is saying makes sense, 9/10 times it's the truth. Going by what I know, you and her do not have a solid foundation either and eventually, not only will it waste your time but it will also lead you to headache and heartache as you get more and more invested.
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Old 01-25-2013, 02:17 PM   #582
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Here's what you do.

You stop thinking about scenarios. This ish will drive you crazy man. If she DOES text you first, ignore it. You are busy doing your own thing. Respond, but wait the next day. This is how you could keep yourself interesting, you have stuff going on, so you will not respond immediately like she'd expect. And just keep it that way for a while. If you notice her sending more messages, you may have gotten her to chase you. But do not expect this, let things happen as they may. Remember, ease up a bit on the situation, it's not that serious. Keep it casual, just like how you'd respond with a distant friend. You never really second guess your actions with them, so do the same with her.
Also good advice
Sorry I always think more long term then short this is great short term advice as opposed to my long winded long term advice.
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Old 01-25-2013, 02:35 PM   #583
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Well long term I agree with you, stay the hell away from this girl...I didn't even consider long term perspective lol, mine is definitely for the immediate.
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Old 01-25-2013, 02:42 PM   #584
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Just be short and let her guide the conversations... if nothing there then move on. Easy.
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Old 01-26-2013, 04:11 PM   #585
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Old 01-27-2013, 01:52 PM   #586
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Well weekend check in, fri night was really fun. Texted my old fling "hey what are you up to tonight?" no response..so that one's done. Went rock climbing with the bros after work, we ended up meeting 3 hot girls starting out as beginners. Honestly they were all good looking, but the one that went for me turns out she has a kid (buddies know her previously, told me after the fact arghh.) So now I'm kinda like ehhh I wish I went for her hot blonde friend..but I'm ok with just having a fling with her. On top of this, my buddy who knows her said his good friend is her babby daddy..and he's not cool with me pursuing something..am I in the wrong at all? I just met this chick and she gave me her number..If it was MY friend's ex girl I wouldn't but c'mon this is kinda pushing it isn't it?
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Old 01-27-2013, 01:55 PM   #587
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Just going to save you some trouble. She has a kid, walk away. No vagina is that good, trust me, I've been there. Especially with baby daddy issues, she'll be looking for the prince to take her off into the sunset away from baby daddy.
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Old 01-27-2013, 02:14 PM   #588
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Just going to save you some trouble. She has a kid, walk away. No vagina is that good, trust me, I've been there. Especially with baby daddy issues, she'll be looking for the prince to take her off into the sunset away from baby daddy.
but she's reallllly hot...mannnnn why did I go for the one with the kid!!
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Old 01-27-2013, 02:21 PM   #589
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Old 01-27-2013, 02:24 PM   #590
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But let's keep in mind..I'm just trying to get some. She seemed down? I'm predicting I'm going to go down the path that you guys are predicting....and I'll be posting here to say you guys are right..

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Old 01-27-2013, 02:37 PM   #591
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Smash and dash if you can

Your friend is a clown for trying to put down the c-clamp on a girl thats not/wasn't even his. Sure the baby makes a long-term situation complicated and not worth it, but you're not in it for the long term so game on.
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Old 01-27-2013, 06:18 PM   #592
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You guys are awesome, srsly.

Say I stop talking to her via texts, but still stay 'polite' when I see her on campus. What should I do if she's the one who texts me first? Some would probably say don't even respond, some would say to be very short...

Ideas? For all I know, it won't ever happen, which is also fine
go hard neg and say "hey nice to hear from you, kind of seems like we don't really click, so I think it is best if we just try to be friends, cool?" You can still be friendly at school and converse and such; giving the cold shoulder in person will make you look childish. And genuinely, you should be fine with how things went, she made her choices and you were not one of them, life goes on; getting caught up in someone elses life is silly, focus on yours.

Also, saying that shows you are not gonna just follow her around like a dog, it shows that you understand your feelings/emotions and what you want in life, and that you are willing to walk away with absolutely no regrets or hurt feelings. Positive positive positive.

Last edited by CMT247; 01-27-2013 at 06:21 PM.
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Old 01-28-2013, 06:00 PM   #593
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Interesting weekend...Definitely seeing some warning signs that I may need to jump ship but I'll know for sure this friday. Hung out of friday had a good time went to a play slept over. Again no sex but not a big deal at the time as I figure she just has a waiting period, fair enough.

Saturday rolls around and my plans got canceled as well as hers. We spent the day rather lazily which was nice considering in the past month I've had non stop weekends trying to put out "fires." End up crashing another night at her place (Both fell asleep after a session with her and woke up at 3 am whoops no point leaving now) leading in to sunday.

Spend the morning with her, even asks me to join her for work (she does special effects make up and needed to go on site for a job to retake some photos) then we spent the afternoon at the forever hollywood cemetary. Came back ate at one of my places near her only to find out she has a crazy disdain for pork. She was traumitized by bacon during Hurricane Katrina as a volunteer. Finally leave around 8ish and she surprises me with papers for a parking permit (a bit forward of her but considerate I suppose.)

Talking to her more throughout the weekend I am coming to realize she is very emotionally and relationship immature. She may actually be a virgin in the never had sex category.

will add more later once I get home from work.
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Old 01-28-2013, 06:23 PM   #594
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have you gotten any oral sex? or given?
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Old 01-28-2013, 06:26 PM   #595
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Ran into Girl A today. Awkward encounter.

She smiled said hi, hugged, and then immediately got weird and got quiet and was looking down the whole time. I said I forgot my wallet in my car and I was going back to get it (which was true). She said ok and that she'll be on the third floor in the library. Then she said 'I'll see you in a bit' as we walked off. Lol Wat. No bish. Maybe she got a pissed vibe from me. Good
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Old 01-28-2013, 06:58 PM   #596
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Mcr... good thing you really kept the boundaries clear by spending the entire weekend with her .... /sarcasm

I want to hear about how she was traumatized by bacon
Lol


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Old 01-28-2013, 11:42 PM   #597
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both, I've never been orally fixated only one girl I knew was even remotely decent at it so I am never expecting magic from oral.

She was just around bacon and grease so much working at food centers that coupled with the stuff she saw just is a sort of PTSD I suppose...

I am thinking this is a get out before it goes south fast scenario I am seeing her again at the end of the week that would be the most apt time o break it off before she gets any more serious. Or at least to get more clarification because as it stands now she could fall very very fast for me and I wouldn't want to hurt her feelings as a result.
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Old 01-29-2013, 08:41 AM   #598
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Interesting weekend...Definitely seeing some warning signs that I may need to jump ship but I'll know for sure this friday. Hung out of friday had a good time went to a play slept over. Again no sex but not a big deal at the time as I figure she just has a waiting period, fair enough.

Saturday rolls around and my plans got canceled as well as hers. We spent the day rather lazily which was nice considering in the past month I've had non stop weekends trying to put out "fires." End up crashing another night at her place (Both fell asleep after a session with her and woke up at 3 am whoops no point leaving now) leading in to sunday.

Spend the morning with her, even asks me to join her for work (she does special effects make up and needed to go on site for a job to retake some photos) then we spent the afternoon at the forever hollywood cemetary. Came back ate at one of my places near her only to find out she has a crazy disdain for pork. She was traumitized by bacon during Hurricane Katrina as a volunteer. Finally leave around 8ish and she surprises me with papers for a parking permit (a bit forward of her but considerate I suppose.)

Talking to her more throughout the weekend I am coming to realize she is very emotionally and relationship immature. She may actually be a virgin in the never had sex category.

will add more later once I get home from work.
Can I ask what is bad about this situation? You guys seem to click very well and she seems cool so why not give it a chance. How old are you guys?
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Old 01-29-2013, 09:15 AM   #599
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26(her) and 27(I.) I just wouldn't want her to fall for me and I'm not at the same level of attraction. I just feel that relationship immaturity could go very badly, and she could either become a clinger or something far worse. I'll be getting a second opinion on friday. I am inviting her to a dinner with friends and one of my good female friends will be there to give me her thoughts on her.
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Old 01-29-2013, 11:10 AM   #600
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26(her) and 27(I.) I just wouldn't want her to fall for me and I'm not at the same level of attraction. I just feel that relationship immaturity could go very badly, and she could either become a clinger or something far worse. I'll be getting a second opinion on friday. I am inviting her to a dinner with friends and one of my good female friends will be there to give me her thoughts on her.
you seem to be looking at this at the wrong way I think. Think of dating as trying things out until they go bad. Don't look for the bad to happen before it's here. You may convince yourself that she isn't as good for you as she might be. Good call on involving friends though. That's always a deal breaker for me and luckily they all like my new girl.
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