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Love Line

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Old 03-26-2013, 12:31 PM   #1201
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Moving in with the other person before marriage is a good idea in my opinion. There is a huge difference between "practically" living with someone and living with someone. Getting married isn't suddenly going to make a person more compatible to live with. It only makes it more complicated when you realize you're not.
agreed
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Old 03-26-2013, 01:19 PM   #1202
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You could have. She def doesn't seem not to like you.


Not really an update on my part but I'm still getting a weird vibe. My gut tells me this is ending soon. She just told me she is overwhelmed with some stuff but still isn't telling me what other than her step moms father having a heart attack and stroke. Her mood could be because of me, which she swears is not, or problems could be something she is worried will scare me off. I'm going to lay back and see how she reacts. I'm not going to chase her for info. I'm just going to do my thing and see if she shows me reasons not to think her head is out of this now. Like I said yesterday, she is super affectionate and shows me that she is into it but I just sense a weird vibe. It's hard to explain. If it ends soon so be it, I just don't want to be strung along if that's the case. If she is out of it I don't need to hear "i don't want you to leave" when I'm getting out of her bed to go to work. That's just malicious lol.
doesn't seem not to like me, true, it is nice to say the least and a definite confidence booster.

Good luck with your situation it's always a tough call to make when the other person is reserved on what's really going on and you're stuck putting a puzzle together without all of the pieces. I know for me I inherently want to fix things but some people aren't like that nor do they need that "white knight" scenario. If what you're doing seems to be working no sense changing it up now right?

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Originally Posted by casino is no lie View Post
Moving in with the other person before marriage is a good idea in my opinion. There is a huge difference between "practically" living with someone and living with someone. Getting married isn't suddenly going to make a person more compatible to live with. It only makes it more complicated when you realize you're not.
Definitely agreed.
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Old 03-26-2013, 01:22 PM   #1203
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Not really an update on my part but I'm still getting a weird vibe. My gut tells me this is ending soon. She just told me she is overwhelmed with some stuff but still isn't telling me what other than her step moms father having a heart attack and stroke. Her mood could be because of me, which she swears is not, or problems could be something she is worried will scare me off. I'm going to lay back and see how she reacts. I'm not going to chase her for info. I'm just going to do my thing and see if she shows me reasons not to think her head is out of this now. Like I said yesterday, she is super affectionate and shows me that she is into it but I just sense a weird vibe. It's hard to explain. If it ends soon so be it, I just don't want to be strung along if that's the case. If she is out of it I don't need to hear "i don't want you to leave" when I'm getting out of her bed to go to work. That's just malicious lol.
It's probably because you ran out of things to tell her.
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Old 03-26-2013, 01:34 PM   #1204
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Old 03-26-2013, 01:42 PM   #1205
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It's probably because you ran out of things to tell her.
hahahha omg
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Old 03-26-2013, 11:33 PM   #1206
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You could have. She def doesn't seem not to like you.


Not really an update on my part but I'm still getting a weird vibe. My gut tells me this is ending soon. She just told me she is overwhelmed with some stuff but still isn't telling me what other than her step moms father having a heart attack and stroke. Her mood could be because of me, which she swears is not, or problems could be something she is worried will scare me off. I'm going to lay back and see how she reacts. I'm not going to chase her for info. I'm just going to do my thing and see if she shows me reasons not to think her head is out of this now. Like I said yesterday, she is super affectionate and shows me that she is into it but I just sense a weird vibe. It's hard to explain. If it ends soon so be it, I just don't want to be strung along if that's the case. If she is out of it I don't need to hear "i don't want you to leave" when I'm getting out of her bed to go to work. That's just malicious lol.
honestly man, girls just aren't good at handling chaos. Just chill, be unaffected, and let things go where they may... if it ends, it ends, but I don't think there is anything direct you can do, except to continue to be easy-going... be the uncomplicated thing in her life.
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Old 03-26-2013, 11:36 PM   #1207
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Originally Posted by casino is no lie View Post
Moving in with the other person before marriage is a good idea in my opinion. There is a huge difference between "practically" living with someone and living with someone. Getting married isn't suddenly going to make a person more compatible to live with. It only makes it more complicated when you realize you're not.
Yeah, all I can say is, when it is right, it is right. I also think that on some levels, living together for the first time can maybe be an even bigger step than marriage? Maybe I am crazy to think that? I am really enjoying the thought of seeing her every night. Hope it works out
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Old 03-27-2013, 08:30 AM   #1208
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honestly man, girls just aren't good at handling chaos. Just chill, be unaffected, and let things go where they may... if it ends, it ends, but I don't think there is anything direct you can do, except to continue to be easy-going... be the uncomplicated thing in her life.
You're right. We spent last night together. Cooked dinner, watched tv, and just chilled. Everything seemed back to normal. I think I was just over reacting. There were 0 signs that she wasn't happy last night. Lots of talk about her excitement for our vacation in May, talking about a few other plans we have in a few weeks too. So my mood today is 100x better than it was yesterday. I was honestly preparing for it to end and today I feel much different. Yea, I know anything can change but she showed me a lot last night to convince me we're still doing very well. I made sure I didn't act weird or like anything was bothering me.
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Old 03-27-2013, 09:51 AM   #1209
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congrats on keeping your cool sir.

The more and more I read here the more and more I feel like an idiot for ruining my last relationship with my behavior and reactions/responses. But that's life we learn take the test first and learn the lesson after. At least this time around I won't be repeating my mistakes again for the most part
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Old 03-27-2013, 10:30 AM   #1210
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congrats on keeping your cool sir.

The more and more I read here the more and more I feel like an idiot for ruining my last relationship with my behavior and reactions/responses. But that's life we learn take the test first and learn the lesson after. At least this time around I won't be repeating my mistakes again for the most part
you may have ruined it because subconsciously you didn't want to be in it. When I think about my last relationship I remember my not giving a fuuck attitude always coming out and her getting annoyed by it. It was literally because I did not give a fuuck lol.
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Old 03-27-2013, 10:40 AM   #1211
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It's water under the bridge but at the same time I can't help but be annoyed at myself for making such simple mistakes. The constant pursuit of bettering oneself I suppose.


Off course I could be this guy

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sux. i gotta work and study a lot these next 6 weeks and i just dont wanna put my body through sleep deprivation, stress, etc. cause ive been chillllinnnn past year or two. anyone do this long term and does it damage your body if youre under 30 and reasonably healthy?

the avg college student seems unhealthy as ****. poor diet, lots of caffeine, little sleep, stress, lots of drinking, etc. and from the mens bathroom, most ppl are really dehydrated (if its yellow you gotta drink water)
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Old 03-28-2013, 02:33 AM   #1212
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you may have ruined it because subconsciously you didn't want to be in it. When I think about my last relationship I remember my not giving a fuuck attitude always coming out and her getting annoyed by it. It was literally because I did not give a fuuck lol.
Glad you had a good night. So, why do you think you over-analyzed the situation (which it looks like was not even a situation to begin with)?

I ask this because I have definitely felt that sigh-of-relief-I-was-clearly-over-reacting-feeling in the past. What brings that on? Is it your sub-conscious reacting to something you can't yet see?

I guess I don't understand why we/I act so insecure at times. How do you go beyond analyzing the **** out of everything and truly chill? We can tell/trick ourselves into "not giving a ****," but maybe it is just a joke/facade?

My relationship is great with the gf, but I still find myself freaking out every so often... even though time and again it turns out to be nothing to worry about. I don't know, maybe it comes down insecurities?
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Old 03-28-2013, 02:37 AM   #1213
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It's water under the bridge but at the same time I can't help but be annoyed at myself for making such simple mistakes. The constant pursuit of bettering oneself I suppose.
So there is an opportunity to learn from this, but it can be scary-easy to fall back into the same pattern... and once again you end up F****** things up.

We are creatures of habit as much as we hate to admit it; it is all about breaking from that mold. Do things the right way next time... listen to the people on this sub-forum and everything will be alright.
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Old 03-28-2013, 08:37 AM   #1214
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Glad you had a good night. So, why do you think you over-analyzed the situation (which it looks like was not even a situation to begin with)?

I ask this because I have definitely felt that sigh-of-relief-I-was-clearly-over-reacting-feeling in the past. What brings that on? Is it your sub-conscious reacting to something you can't yet see?

I guess I don't understand why we/I act so insecure at times. How do you go beyond analyzing the **** out of everything and truly chill? We can tell/trick ourselves into "not giving a ****," but maybe it is just a joke/facade?

My relationship is great with the gf, but I still find myself freaking out every so often... even though time and again it turns out to be nothing to worry about. I don't know, maybe it comes down insecurities?
Definitely over analyzed. Last night she said "it's great we like each other the same". Meaning one of us isn't into the other more than the other, which we often see.

It must be some kind of insecurities. I honestly think I am a catch to most girls. I will never say I am great looking but I like to think I'm better than the average joe, caring, funny, have a pretty good job, and just a normal good dude. But that still doesn't mean a girl will stick with me so I guess I just kind of get worried when I find a good thing. I also think it may have to do with the fact that I think my gf is beautiful and fuucking amazing and any dude would love to be with her. Every single time we go out multiple guys try to talk to her, never had a problem until some random old dude started rubbing her back. I got in his face and said "don't touch her, walk away". I don't mind as long as they don't cross the line but I know she has a ton of options. She doesn't seem to be the type to bounce from guy to guy though and she really does seem happy with me so I need to just chill out and stop over thinking every little thing.
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Old 03-28-2013, 09:18 AM   #1215
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Rant.....wonder if this is the beginning of the end for my rship. Been together over 7 months now. Starting to have more riffs and disturbances than we should. Lately we always seem to step on each other's toes or just not 'get' each other. Plus not feeling as into her as I use to. She is the outspoken type that doesn't always use a filter before words come across her tongue. Me on the other hand I am tact and mannered with my words. Her abruptness is starting to erk me. Example when we were out for a Vday dinner she spoke up in a snarky tone "I sure hope this place improved since I was here a couple years back" "About time they have a larger mixed drink menu". Yet she confesses she loves me and states he wants a future with me. However the thought of living with her sort of makes me cringe with all of our differences. In the beginning the differences seemed minor....now they are starting to tip the apple cart.

We have a getaway planned this weekend, leaving in 6 hours. Planning to see how the weekend goes as an indicator or what's next.

The frustrating thing, when we are together with my 3yo son things are great. She is attentive, she has those great wife / mother skills that I value. But when it is just her and I we don't seem to mesh. Even the sex has gone down hill.

Add to that an ex from years back has been asking about me. Of any of the ex gfs, I had the best connection with this one.
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Old 03-28-2013, 09:20 AM   #1216
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Old 03-28-2013, 09:29 AM   #1217
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You definitely think way too much. Have to chill out before you start showing insecurities and her seeing that.
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Old 03-28-2013, 09:29 AM   #1218
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Rant.....wonder if this is the beginning of the end for my rship. Been together over 7 months now. Starting to have more riffs and disturbances than we should. Lately we always seem to step on each other's toes or just not 'get' each other. Plus not feeling as into her as I use to. She is the outspoken type that doesn't always use a filter before words come across her tongue. Me on the other hand I am tact and mannered with my words. Her abruptness is starting to erk me. Example when we were out for a Vday dinner she spoke up in a snarky tone "I sure hope this place improved since I was here a couple years back" "About time they have a larger mixed drink menu". Yet she confesses she loves me and states he wants a future with me. However the thought of living with her sort of makes me cringe with all of our differences. In the beginning the differences seemed minor....now they are starting to tip the apple cart.

We have a getaway planned this weekend, leaving in 6 hours. Planning to see how the weekend goes as an indicator or what's next.

The frustrating thing, when we are together with my 3yo son things are great. She is attentive, she has those great wife / mother skills that I value. But when it is just her and I we don't seem to mesh. Even the sex has gone down hill.

Add to that an ex from years back has been asking about me. Of any of the ex gfs, I had the best connection with this one.
That type of stuff is a deal breaker for me. imo it goes deeper and I can't help but think people like that are just miserable pricks.
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Old 03-28-2013, 10:13 AM   #1219
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Old 03-28-2013, 10:17 AM   #1220
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Rant.....wonder if this is the beginning of the end for my rship. Been together over 7 months now. Starting to have more riffs and disturbances than we should. Lately we always seem to step on each other's toes or just not 'get' each other. Plus not feeling as into her as I use to. She is the outspoken type that doesn't always use a filter before words come across her tongue. Me on the other hand I am tact and mannered with my words. Her abruptness is starting to erk me. Example when we were out for a Vday dinner she spoke up in a snarky tone "I sure hope this place improved since I was here a couple years back" "About time they have a larger mixed drink menu". Yet she confesses she loves me and states he wants a future with me. However the thought of living with her sort of makes me cringe with all of our differences. In the beginning the differences seemed minor....now they are starting to tip the apple cart.

We have a getaway planned this weekend, leaving in 6 hours. Planning to see how the weekend goes as an indicator or what's next.

The frustrating thing, when we are together with my 3yo son things are great. She is attentive, she has those great wife / mother skills that I value. But when it is just her and I we don't seem to mesh. Even the sex has gone down hill.

Add to that an ex from years back has been asking about me. Of any of the ex gfs, I had the best connection with this one.
Every relationship has the time after the "honeymoon" phase. For me, I had the same feelings and thoughts as you but they weren't enough to make me want to break things off with her. 5 years later and I'm really glad that I didn't.

Maybe just a rough spot, maybe it's not meant to be...only you can make that call.
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