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Old 03-26-2012, 09:29 AM   #1
SPDSKTR
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I think we'll be getting an apartment together. Advice?

We've been together since late November/early December and already spend every day together (hell... we practically live together). I'm not paying rent (yet), but I do buy groceries and dinners and help out with things around the place (walk her dog when she asks, keep the sink empty, cook every now and then, etc.). We've considered just getting an apartment together, but I don't want my name on the lease in case something goes awry.

So a few questions for those of you who have moved in with your girlfriends/had your girlfriends move in with you...

1) Good experience or bad experience for you? I know that I'll be learning more about little habits that may annoy me or I may appreciate, so I've pretty much mentally prepared myself the best I can for anything of that nature.

2) What's the best way to keep my name off the lease?

3) How long have you dated before deciding moving in together was a good idea?
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Old 03-26-2012, 09:47 AM   #2
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Absolutely not dude.

Don't move in unless your about to get hitched, and if you are at that point 5 months in then you deserve what you get lol.

1) Bad Experience, the only good experiences of people living with their girls are the ones that MARRY them.
2) You can't, if you get caught your fuqed.
3) 2 years minimum, and at that point it should be marriage bound or your wasting everyones time
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Old 03-26-2012, 10:02 AM   #3
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Absolutely not dude.

Don't move in unless your about to get hitched, and if you are at that point 5 months in then you deserve what you get lol.

1) Bad Experience, the only good experiences of people living with their girls are the ones that MARRY them.
2) You can't, if you get caught your fuqed.
3) 2 years minimum, and at that point it should be marriage bound or your wasting everyones time
Sounds like someone got snakebit...
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Old 03-26-2012, 10:28 AM   #4
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We've considered just getting an apartment together, but I don't want my name on the lease in case something goes awry.
Most leases are drafted to include language stating any individuals of 18 years of age or older who are permanent inhabitants must be included on the lease agreement.

Unless you plan on getting married and married soon, I wouldn't recommend it.
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Old 03-26-2012, 10:31 AM   #5
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So a few questions for those of you who have moved in with your girlfriends/had your girlfriends move in with you...

1) Good experience or bad experience for you? I know that I'll be learning more about little habits that may annoy me or I may appreciate, so I've pretty much mentally prepared myself the best I can for anything of that nature.

2) What's the best way to keep my name off the lease?

3) How long have you dated before deciding moving in together was a good idea?
Since you have been together for less than 6 months, I'm going to go with this is a bad idea. But to answer your questions:

1.) Good experience, we are getting married next year. There are lots of things you'll learn about the other person when you live together both good and bad.

2.) There isn't, your name has to be on the lease if you are a permanent resident.

3.) 3.5 years before we moved in together. Got engaged about a month before.
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Old 03-26-2012, 10:36 AM   #6
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Sounds like someone got snakebit...
Numbers don't lie.


You're going to do it anyways, but you aren't going to get the nods from us as you were expecting.


'Tis not a good idea.
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Old 03-26-2012, 10:37 AM   #7
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Numbers don't lie.


You're going to do it anyways, but you aren't going to get the nods from us as you were expecting.


'Tis not a good idea.
Well... I don't trust anyone else enough to be my roommate, so there lies the problem. I also don't make enough to comfortably live solo and haven't had a raise in over a year (despite landing many more credentials).

I'm going to save you guys the rant about how lousy the company I work for is.
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Old 03-26-2012, 10:48 AM   #8
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Just went back and looked at PK's "We moved in together!" thread.

"Good luck!"
"Congratulations!"
"Post this in regular OT and watch it get called stupid."

You're worried about your name being on the lease. I'm worried about what style tuxedo to wear. That's the difference.
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Old 03-26-2012, 11:54 AM   #9
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Didn't you say post November 1 you become single until February 15?
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Old 03-26-2012, 12:21 PM   #10
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Didn't you say post November 1 you become single until February 15?
Thanksgiving through Valentine's Day, typically. We met within a few days of Thanksgiving, so I made an exception.
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Old 03-26-2012, 01:14 PM   #11
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Married almost 4 years now, together 6. She moved in 6 months after dating. We lived across the hall from each other so it only made sense when her lease was up to move her from her 1 bedroom across the hall to my 2 bedroom. We put her name on the lease due to our apartment complex's policy. Breaking lease is expensive but thankfully the policy was that if one tenant moved out and you were forced to downgrade, as long as you stayed in the complex, you could get into a 1 bedroom and not break lease with the other tenant able to move out entirely.

My advice would be to be realistic and speak about the chance something goes wrong. Agree to be mature and handle it like adults and even though that's not a guarantee, it will help take some stress out of the "what if" worries.
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Old 03-26-2012, 01:16 PM   #12
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Married almost 4 years now, together 6. She moved in 6 months after dating. We lived across the hall from each other so it only made sense when her lease was up to move her from her 1 bedroom across the hall to my 2 bedroom. We put her name on the lease due to our apartment complex's policy. Breaking lease is expensive but thankfully the policy was that if one tenant moved out and you were forced to downgrade, as long as you stayed in the complex, you could get into a 1 bedroom and not break lease with the other tenant able to move out entirely.

My advice would be to be realistic and speak about the chance something goes wrong. Agree to be mature and handle it like adults and even though that's not a guarantee, it will help take some stress out of the "what if" worries.
Thank you. I know how rough patches can be with relationships (I'm sure we all do), so SHTF is expected at some point.

See how hard that was, guys?
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Old 03-26-2012, 01:19 PM   #13
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Financially, it would make sense for the both of us. She wants a job as an x-ray tech at a hospital in Birmingham and I work in Birmingham already. I drive 43 miles to work every morning and 43 miles home. I'd actually save money by renting an apartment and riding my bicycle to work a couple days a week. With our combined income, we'd be living comfortably.
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Old 03-26-2012, 01:26 PM   #14
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Financially, it would make sense for the both of us. She wants a job as an x-ray tech at a hospital in Birmingham and I work in Birmingham already. I drive 43 miles to work every morning and 43 miles home. I'd actually save money by renting an apartment and riding my bicycle to work a couple days a week. With our combined income, we'd be living comfortably.
This is certainly a perk of any roommate/live in girlfriend...however you should make sure you don't get so comfortable that you come to DEPEND on that person.

I did when I was younger and it sucked. My brother and I lived together for a couple of years and we were both comfortable. I bought cars that were really outside of my means and my monthly payment was perfect with cheap rent, but when my brother moved out to live with his fiance, I was in the crapper.

When you live with your girlfriend, if you got really comfortable financially and started depending on her and she leaves, you're left with not just the emotional burden of a breakup, but a financial too.

I've only lived with two girls...the first I was mooching off of so when I moved out it was more like I was gaining my independence and I welcomed it. The second I married....so I hope it works out for you!
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Old 03-26-2012, 01:26 PM   #15
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Financially, it would make sense for the both of us. She wants a job as an x-ray tech at a hospital in Birmingham and I work in Birmingham already. I drive 43 miles to work every morning and 43 miles home. I'd actually save money by renting an apartment and riding my bicycle to work a couple days a week. With our combined income, we'd be living comfortably.
Money should never be a reason to move in with someone. Like Solly said, you need a roommate.
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Old 03-26-2012, 01:28 PM   #16
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This is certainly a perk of any roommate/live in girlfriend...however you should make sure you don't get so comfortable that you come to DEPEND on that person.

I did when I was younger and it sucked. My brother and I lived together for a couple of years and we were both comfortable. I bought cars that were really outside of my means and my monthly payment was perfect with cheap rent, but when my brother moved out to live with his fiance, I was in the crapper.

When you live with your girlfriend, if you got really comfortable financially and started depending on her and she leaves, you're left with not just the emotional burden of a breakup, but a financial too.

I've only lived with two girls...the first I was mooching off of so when I moved out it was more like I was gaining my independence and I welcomed it. The second I married....so I hope it works out for you!
Assuming we go through with it (both of us have our own hesitations which need to be discussed), we plan on trying to find a place around $500 a month with water/sewer included (since the county we'd like to move to has a sewer debt in the billions... ), so if something DOES happen, one or the other can still make ends meet, depending on who's left.
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Old 03-26-2012, 01:32 PM   #17
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I take it you plan on marrying this girl.
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Old 03-26-2012, 01:32 PM   #18
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Assuming we go through with it (both of us have our own hesitations which need to be discussed), we plan on trying to find a place around $500 a month with water/sewer included (since the county we'd like to move to has a sewer debt in the billions... ), so if something DOES happen, one or the other can still make ends meet, depending on who's left.
Sounds like a sound thought process. That being said, I don't know what the market is like in AL, but around here, 500 a month for a place will get you smack dab in the middle of the ghetto.
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Old 03-26-2012, 01:35 PM   #19
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I take it you plan on marrying this girl.
It's not the end of the world if he doesn't.

If one or the other can afford the place by themselves and doesn't have to have two people on the lease, the breakup will only result in some awkward days of moving stuff out...

or in my case your crazy nutjob ex girlfriend jumping on your back after you get the last of it out and make your way for the door. That girl was craaaaazy.
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Old 03-26-2012, 01:37 PM   #20
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i got an apertment with a gf after 5 months of dating, 9.5 years later still together and married

forget all ne negative nancies, it does work!
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