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Old 04-29-2014, 07:27 AM   #1
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Guy messages me on FB saying hes been dating my gf....

So i was randomly going through my FB messages and clicked on the "other" inbox. Where all the spam and other crap goes. I see this message from a few weeks ago and it states this...

"Turns out you and I are dating the same girl again. Seems like we've gone through the same thing before and she keeps apologizing saying she's not gonna date anyone else. Too bad we've been "exclusively" dating the past 3 months. You can have her man. I'm done with her."

Made me start shaking when i was reading it and right away confronted her. She denies even knowing who this dude is started crying hysterically after i didnt believe her saying she would never ever do anything like that the hole 9 yards. I went through her phone(Calls,texts,instagram,etc) and her Facebook and there was no sign of this guys name or anything that i would consider shady like flirting with someone or anything. At any time she lets me go through her phone if i ask but i never do so she doesnt come off shady by locking her phone or somethings its always open to me. What the hell do you guys think? Shes apparenlty blocked on FB from this person. I literally see her almost every day for the last 7+ months and i talk to her from when she wakes up to when she goes to bed every single day. She tells me im the most amazing boyfriend shes ever had and how much shes in love with me all the time etc. She never comes off shady like where she randomly doesnt answer her phone or whatever. I always know where she is or what shes doing who shes with etc and she willingly tells me as well as me tell her where i am and etc. Whats weird is it didnt send to my normal FB messages folder it sent to my "Other" folder thats why i didnt see it till just now. I messaged the guy back saying to show me proof and havent got an answer(Will update if i do). But what do you guys think? Should i beleive her? Or is this super shady? She goes to school Tuesday-Thursday and works Sat-Monday and usually has Fridays off and we go out and do something. I dont see her even having time to pull something like this but then again anything is possible. I just dont get it. And it sucks cause everything was going so well for so long. Any advice will be very welcomed thanks guys!
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Old 04-29-2014, 08:18 AM   #2
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what da hell? you confronted her before the other guy gave you proof?

haha... good luck man.. this is weird.
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Old 04-29-2014, 08:19 AM   #3
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Sounds like your a douche for making her cry. Relationships are simple. Trust each other 100% or move on.
Don't over complicate things. Be upfront in the beginning. Don't make exceptions on cheaters. They never change.

If you trust her and really like her then you should have asked if it was true. Then moved on and let it go. #1 she would have thought you were awesome for just letting it go becz of trust. And your relationship would keep getting better.

#2 she would have thought your easy to lie to and mess up again shortly, at this point you simply grow balls be a mam and move on.

Life is simple, don't over complicate things. I have been married to the same woman for 18 yrs. I trust her 100%. She knows there are no take backs or forgiveness.

That's my life and my rules tho. Make your own and life by them. People don't screw you over then you do what you say.



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Old 04-29-2014, 09:07 AM   #4
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yikes; you can't let your emotions get out of order. If you truly appriciate this girl then you'll trust her for what she has shown you so far. It is shaddy that this random dude hits you up and all the details would make any man nervous but he shouldn't have any problem showing proof if all of this is true. She may feel like you don't trust her the way she thought you did and that could be the start to a fall out man..... Take a step back and make sure you have all the facts first. I hope it works out.
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Old 04-29-2014, 09:10 AM   #5
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well this would make me a little uneasy too. But unless this dude can give you 100% proof then I'd move on and apologize to the gf.
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Old 04-29-2014, 09:23 AM   #6
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i remember one time i got a spam mail that said "Diane thinks you are too small"... of course i was dating a girl named Diane at that time.. but I also knew that subject didn't make sense AT ALL
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Old 04-29-2014, 09:23 AM   #7
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well this would make me a little uneasy too. But unless this dude can give you 100% proof then I'd move on and apologize to the gf.
yes and apologize to gf; forgot about that.
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Old 04-29-2014, 09:46 AM   #8
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i remember one time i got a spam mail that said "Diane thinks you are too small"... of course i was dating a girl named Diane at that time.. but I also knew that subject didn't make sense AT ALL
hahah that's hilarious.
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Old 04-29-2014, 09:47 AM   #9
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You overreacted over a FB message that could very clearly be spam, I hope you didn't let your emotions get out of control and "attack" her in a confrontational way. As I don't know how you went about it I wont make assumptions, however hope you approached the situation as calmly as you could.

I understand how it would shake you and have gotten weird things like that that hit quite close to real things in your life. Much like Joe said above about the email, I can't verify accurateness though :eeks: The internet and ability to gather information these days allows spammers to know much more personal information about us.

I'd apologize to her but express your reason for concern, if your relationship is strong then hopefully this will be able to just be something laughed about. Unless he comes back with some concrete evidence don't let a FB rando go and ruin your relationship.
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Old 04-29-2014, 09:57 AM   #10
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social media is a relationship killer ! ask me how I know :eep:
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Old 04-29-2014, 09:58 AM   #11
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So i was randomly going through my FB messages and clicked on the "other" inbox.

Made me start shaking when i was reading it and right away confronted her.

She denies even knowing who this dude is started crying hysterically after i didnt believe her saying she would never ever do anything like that the hole 9 yards.

I went through her phone(Calls,texts,instagram,etc) and her Facebook and everyting else and there was no sign of this guys name or anything that i would consider shady like flirting with someone or anything.

She tells me im the most amazing boyfriend shes ever had and how much shes in love with me all the time etc. She never comes off shady like where she randomly doesnt answer her phone or whatever. !
Expect to be dumped.
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Old 04-29-2014, 10:07 AM   #12
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I think op should show this thread to gf and say he is sorry and over reacted. She might give him points for being called out for it on here.

Then show her all Griff's post and if she is cool with it, then keep her.
If not then move on. Haha.

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Old 04-29-2014, 12:47 PM   #13
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was this guy a nigerian prince?
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Old 04-29-2014, 01:03 PM   #14
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#2 she would have thought your easy to lie to and mess up again shortly, at this point you simply grow balls be a mam and move on.
No!
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Old 04-29-2014, 02:01 PM   #15
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yikes; you can't let your emotions get out of order. If you truly appriciate this girl then you'll trust her for what she has shown you so far. It is shaddy that this random dude hits you up and all the details would make any man nervous but he shouldn't have any problem showing proof if all of this is true. She may feel like you don't trust her the way she thought you did and that could be the start to a fall out man..... Take a step back and make sure you have all the facts first. I hope it works out.
I didnt let my emotions get out of hand. I confronted her about it sure but it wasnt like i was yelling at the top of my lungs. She was crying because she said she feels now that i dont trust her and i explained that im sure if the terms we switch she would be just as concerned as i am right now and she understood.

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well this would make me a little uneasy too. But unless this dude can give you 100% proof then I'd move on and apologize to the gf.
I still havent heard back from the guy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by joedaddy View Post
i remember one time i got a spam mail that said "Diane thinks you are too small"... of course i was dating a girl named Diane at that time.. but I also knew that subject didn't make sense AT ALL
See thats what i was thinking. And as me and her last night were trying to figure out who he was i feel like it could have just been some persom trying to spam/troll

Quote:
Originally Posted by IdahoToyo View Post
You overreacted over a FB message that could very clearly be spam, I hope you didn't let your emotions get out of control and "attack" her in a confrontational way. As I don't know how you went about it I wont make assumptions, however hope you approached the situation as calmly as you could.

I understand how it would shake you and have gotten weird things like that that hit quite close to real things in your life. Much like Joe said above about the email, I can't verify accurateness though :eeks: The internet and ability to gather information these days allows spammers to know much more personal information about us.

I'd apologize to her but express your reason for concern, if your relationship is strong then hopefully this will be able to just be something laughed about. Unless he comes back with some concrete evidence don't let a FB rando go and ruin your relationship.
Thanks for the input. If i dont hear from this guy today im just going to forget about the whole thing and tell her sorry eventhough i already did apologize. Cause she even told me if this guy doesnt ever respond that she wants an apology and i agreed. She keeps saying how much our relationship means to her and that she would never do something like that even if she was mad at me or under any cercomstance.

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Originally Posted by GlockMan View Post
Expect to be dumped.
No

Quote:
Originally Posted by zooter2002 View Post
I think op should show this thread to gf and say he is sorry and over reacted. She might give him points for being called out for it on here.

Then show her all Griff's post and if she is cool with it, then keep her.
If not then move on. Haha.

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Lol

Thanks for everyones input really appreciate it i will keep you updated. Now i feel like a dick for even bringing it up but still i think it was fair for me to act that way at first dont you think?
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wat?? guys with turbo M3's don't have woman troubles...

try adjusting your wastegate
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Old 04-29-2014, 02:56 PM   #16
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Checking my other inbox now! lol








Think you overreacted a little, if she's a cheater, she will eventually get caught.
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Old 04-29-2014, 04:16 PM   #17
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Checking my other inbox now! lol
Just did this b/c of the thread, how long has "other" mailbox been a thing on FB Had two or three messages from people (who I am not friends w/ but know personally) looking to get in contact/get some information from me that I had no idea ever sent anything. These messages were from a year ago...oopsies

No cheating GF shenanigans though. Bummer
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Old 04-29-2014, 10:33 PM   #18
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Confronting her w/o proof is one thing, I would have asked the dude prior to asking her.

You going through her instagram etc is childish. I cannot imagine ever doing something like that.
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Old 04-30-2014, 02:56 AM   #19
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Confronting her w/o proof is one thing, I would have asked the dude prior to asking her.

You going through her instagram etc is childish. I cannot imagine ever doing something like that.
I confronted her like a normal person asking her what it was. I dont feel its childish although now i regret doing it. I see more of a problem if a GF/BF doesnt let you see their phone and locks it then it seems like there is something to hide. I feel like i need to work on myself about trusting people more though.

Update. Still no reply from this dude. I appologized and everythinhg is fine now. Just going to forget about this whole thing. Thank you all for your input i appreciate it.
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wat?? guys with turbo M3's don't have woman troubles...

try adjusting your wastegate
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Old 04-30-2014, 05:43 AM   #20
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- when they want something
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