E46 BMW Social Directory E46 FAQ 3-Series Discussion Forums BMW Photo Gallery BMW 3-Series Technical Information E46 Fanatics - The Ultimate BMW Resource BMW Vendors General E46 Forum The Tire Rack's Tire Wheel Forum Forced Induction Forum The Off-Topic The E46 BMW Showroom For Sale, For Trade or Wanting to Buy

Welcome to the E46Fanatics forums. E46Fanatics is the premiere website for BMW 3 series owners around the world with interactive forums, a geographical enthusiast directory, photo galleries, and technical information for BMW enthusiasts.

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact contact us.

Go Back   E46Fanatics > Everything Else > The Off-Topic > General Off-Topic

General Off-Topic
Everything not about BMWs. Posts must be "primetime" safe and in good taste. You must be logged in to see sub-forums.
Click here to browse all new posts.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rating: Thread Rating: 8 votes, 5.00 average. Display Modes
Old 06-26-2012, 09:17 PM   #1
DylloS
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: NY
Posts: 672
My Ride: nothing
So...I fuucked the fleshlight NWS

Original thread
http://forum.e46fanatics.com/showthr...ght=fleshlight

As some of you know, this thing was ordered and sent to my house. No friends owned up to doing it, and I'm not sure how it would be fraudulently purchased and sent to my address either. I was told by the bank to send it back but knowing how the banks work, they didn't do any real research so it just sat in the box on my dresser because I was lazy to actually bring it to a ups box.

I recently received a letter stating that the fraud case was closed and my money was back in my account for good. I guess pending investigation they could take out the $80.

So the other night I was thinking, why not? Open the sh1t up and see what it's like.

It's a very flimsy soft rubber "sleeve" that goes into the plastic. Luckily this thing came with lube because the fit is very tight. I tried to shoot right into it to make my "session" clean as possible but it just wasn't happening. To avoid dick burn and pulling the sleeve from the "holster" I just dropped some lube in.

I was pretty embarrassed trying this thing out but I just went for it. I said "who gives a sh1t".

This little invention just changed the masturbation game. IT IS AMAZING. I know there are a lot of virgins around here so if you're wondering what vagina feels like go ahead and get one of these things. It's more work than you're conventional spank but it's worth it. It has a very tight feel but it's a little cold. Maybe one day I'll put it out in the sun for a few minutes. Cleaning it is super easy though. Just run it under the sink with some soap and it's like you never banged it. I have yet to give it a cream pie though. I just can't bring myself to do it yet. Possibly in the near future.

I'm paranoid I'm going to leave this thing out by accident though lol.

I'm opening up the floor for questions so ask away.

Last edited by DylloS; 12-13-2013 at 11:33 AM.
DylloS is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-26-2012, 09:21 PM   #2
Swish
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: NorCal
Posts: 285
My Ride: 2004 M3 Vert
__________________

"If you want to move past racism, you have to STOP LABELING EVERYTHING BY RACE / 2000_328CI"
Swish is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-26-2012, 09:22 PM   #3
DylloS
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: NY
Posts: 672
My Ride: nothing
Someone tell me where the photoshopped pic of my riding the fleshlight is so I can post it in the original thread
DylloS is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-26-2012, 09:25 PM   #4
GhostFlame
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: oceans
Posts: 193
My Ride: LSB/HPF
Did you take it out for dinner and drinks first?
GhostFlame is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-26-2012, 09:27 PM   #5
mkodama
Registered User
 
mkodama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 33,171
lol
__________________

mkodama is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-26-2012, 09:27 PM   #6
ThaHooch
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: at home
Posts: 238
My Ride: e46
__________________

** Political sig removed **
ThaHooch is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-26-2012, 09:29 PM   #7
AC815
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: ITTB
Posts: 455
My Ride: Lawnmower
If you wear a condom you won't have to pull out


__________________
AC815 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-26-2012, 09:29 PM   #8
XKxRome0ox
Black and Proud
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: los angeles
Posts: 10,371
My Ride: is totaled
On a scale of 1-10 (10 being the best "sex" of your life)
What would you rate it?

Posted from Skyrocket using BimmerApp
__________________

Quote:
Originally Posted by VaderDave
Fill that hole in your soul by buying more material goods
http://forum.e46fanatics.com/showthread.php?p=15286051
buy my sedan rear seats (gray leather)

sell me sedan A pillars!! (black fabric)
XKxRome0ox is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-26-2012, 09:32 PM   #9
DylloS
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: NY
Posts: 672
My Ride: nothing
Quote:
Originally Posted by XKxRome0ox View Post
On a scale of 1-10 (10 being the best "sex" of your life)
What would you rate it?

Posted from Skyrocket using BimmerApp
7. It's up there with the tightest I've done so the pressure is amazing. The coldness knocks it down a few spots but in all honesty, if my eyes were closed, and it was warmer I would not be able to tell the difference.
DylloS is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-26-2012, 09:34 PM   #10
GhostFlame
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: oceans
Posts: 193
My Ride: LSB/HPF
So are you guys like dating now? Does she have any say in this?
GhostFlame is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-26-2012, 09:34 PM   #11
CollinsE90
Registered User
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: The bar
Posts: 340
My Ride: 330i
dm;hs
__________________
CollinsE90 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-26-2012, 09:35 PM   #12
kuksul08
Registered User
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: California
Posts: 2,108
My Ride: M3
holy sh1t this is hilarious
__________________

Look at that subtle jet-black coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my God, it even has a 6mt.
S54 Valve Adjustment Spreadsheet & Info: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/28231781/S54...ent%20info.zip
S54 VANOS DIY Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SkT2j3jsU0
kuksul08 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-26-2012, 09:36 PM   #13
DylloS
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: NY
Posts: 672
My Ride: nothing
Quote:
Originally Posted by GhostFlame View Post
So are you guys like dating now? Does she have any say in this?
your jokes are horrible. Bring something more to the table or my first cream pie will end up in a pm to you.
DylloS is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-26-2012, 09:36 PM   #14
budman
-not a mod-
 
budman's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: South Flo Rida
Posts: 31,567
My Ride: is your mom
Send a message via AIM to budman Send a message via Yahoo to budman
Whats her name?
__________________
-Gunnar
budman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-26-2012, 09:37 PM   #15
Lair
Registered User
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Sea level
Posts: 321
My Ride: e90, cheap Boxster
Quote:
Originally Posted by DylloS View Post
7. It's up there with the tightest I've done so the pressure is amazing. The coldness knocks it down a few spots but in all honesty, if my eyes were closed, and it was warmer I would not be able to tell the difference.
Next time put it in the microwave.
__________________

Quote:
It's the best years of your life they want to steal.
Congratulations.
Lair is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-26-2012, 09:37 PM   #16
GRIFFIN
NWS
 
GRIFFIN's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: California
Posts: 1,700
My Ride: 04 330i zsp,zpp,zcw
LoL

Sent from my phone.
__________________

** Removed - Please stop - Tim330i **
*NWS GIF REMOVED*
*GIF REMOVED*
* Continuing to put animated images in your sig will get you banned - Tim330i *
**You make me so horny.- Tim330i **
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedges View Post
I can honestly say that because of Griffin, i am desensitized to alot of wierd stuff!
GRIFFIN is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-26-2012, 09:38 PM   #17
JonJon
Tinfoilhatatarian
 
JonJon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: One of the most evil states ever to exist
Posts: 3,479
My Ride: .
Send a message via AIM to JonJon
This thread makes it feel like OT circa 2004-05

Feels good!
__________________
Malo periculosam libertatem quam quietum servitium

Quote:
Originally Posted by 'busa View Post
I agree with JonJon.
JonJon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-26-2012, 09:39 PM   #18
DylloS
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: NY
Posts: 672
My Ride: nothing
Quote:
Originally Posted by JonJon View Post
This thread makes it feel like OT circa 2004-05

Feels good!
i like to think I used to have some good threads and I was scrolling today at the main page just sad. I said I have to make this thread.
DylloS is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-26-2012, 09:39 PM   #19
cd330
ModZombie Moderator
 
cd330's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Dr. Satan's House of Horrors
Posts: 35,389
My Ride: manual stl gry 330i
at least you didn't post a pic of you penor, I would hate to ban you but....

__________________
cd330 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-26-2012, 09:40 PM   #20
JonJon
Tinfoilhatatarian
 
JonJon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: One of the most evil states ever to exist
Posts: 3,479
My Ride: .
Send a message via AIM to JonJon
Quote:
Originally Posted by DylloS View Post
i like to think I used to have some good threads and I was scrolling today at the main page just sad. I said I have to make this thread.
I started a gym in my garage because of you

love it
__________________
Malo periculosam libertatem quam quietum servitium

Quote:
Originally Posted by 'busa View Post
I agree with JonJon.
JonJon is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Censor is ON





All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:38 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
(c) 1999 - 2011 performanceIX Inc - privacy policy - terms of use