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Old 09-27-2012, 12:12 PM   #41
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How about being the guy that's 'there' for everyone and 'goes after/talks to' everyone, and introduces everyone to everyone, etc. You're thinking about this wrong, stop focusing so much on the girl and focus more on socializing in general. The women will come!


this is pretty much how I do things.
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Old 09-27-2012, 01:32 PM   #42
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OP, you could always be the "nice guy" that is open, honest, caring, compassionate, listens to girls problems, listens to them rant about how their boyfriend sucks and, at most, maybe gets a sympathy kiss from the girl that he sits around moping with all day....

NOT! And that's why the "nice guy" thing is bullcr@p. Girls will sit and vent to their "guy friend" about how big an ass their boyfriend is and how wonderful he is (the nice guy who provides the role of the listener). She'll say things like "if only my bf was like you".. but guess what? That guy will NEVER get with the girl. Instead, the girl will be banging on the door of the guy who doesn't pay her a lick of attention begging him to come down and speak with her so that she can then blow him for an hour straight.

When "thinking about how to behave with women" learn that "thinking" doesn't process on their side of the fence. You can tell a girl this and she'll immediately tell you that you don't know what you're talking about (they will deny it all day).. but they're dead wrong. Women FEEL and men THINK.. this is why we work on different levels and why guys who try hard always fail... unless you're trying to fit a mold that you realize will attract women (which requires understanding what goes on, or more importantly DOESN'T go on in their head).

As a dating guru has said for years, "attraction isn't a choice"... and it's spot on. Ask a woman what they want in a significant other and you'll get X... see them out on a date and you see Y. Reason being, they BELIEVE they are into a certain behavior type but that's what they actually want to settle down with.. it's not what attracts them. And ironically enough, the type of behavior they want, isn't attractive... it's repulsive. The "warm, sensitive, loving, caring, honest guy" won't get an ounce of attention from a drunk girl at a party... as a result, he'll never get in a position where he can be the one that she learns to want long term.

So be the guy that they are attracted to not the one they "want to be with"... Then you get lots of dates, lots of girls interested in you, and THEN YOU CAN PICK which girls you will spend time with.... all the sudden, the dynamics change. You're in charge of the social scene rather than trying to figure out how to cling to the attention of a specific girl. Then you can be the selective one and guess what happens? Now ALL the girls want you because you're the one all the other chicks are trying to get to... you ever notice how many girls will carry the same exact purse? They'll crave this boring a$$ cr@p that looks identical to a handbag that costs a fraction the price... reason being they want what others have.. they want to be the one with the cool, in style, trophy.. and guess what guy is the "in style dude"? It's the one with lots of chicks interested in him. You can be a 5'4, scronny, balding, unathletic wimp without a dollar to your name but if you have a girl or two or three that's into you, you'll start drawing a crowd. So you want this one girl? You want her really bad? Get others in her social circle talking about you and how bad they wish they were with you... chat them up at parties, make them envy whoever is able to tie you down... and then this one girl you really want will come begging for a date.

Those saying otherwise are too old, with much more mature girls (and out of touch with "younger girl's behavior"), or simply never learned how the game works.
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Old 09-27-2012, 10:07 PM   #43
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OP, you could always be the "nice guy" that is open, honest, caring, compassionate, listens to girls problems, listens to them rant about how their boyfriend sucks and, at most, maybe gets a sympathy kiss from the girl that he sits around moping with all day....

NOT! And that's why the "nice guy" thing is bullcr@p. Girls will sit and vent to their "guy friend" about how big an ass their boyfriend is and how wonderful he is (the nice guy who provides the role of the listener). She'll say things like "if only my bf was like you".. but guess what? That guy will NEVER get with the girl. Instead, the girl will be banging on the door of the guy who doesn't pay her a lick of attention begging him to come down and speak with her so that she can then blow him for an hour straight.

Those saying otherwise are too old, with much more mature girls (and out of touch with "younger girl's behavior"), or simply never learned how the game works.
Agreed with this post.

I screwed around sophomore year with a couple girls who I thought had interest. One ended up screwing around my back when we were "exclusive" and the other is now one of my best friends.

The one who is my best friend is exactly how it happened above. I was with another girl, she lived next door (dorm-ish type housing) and when the girl I was with wh0red out...I tried to move on and get with her.

It happened, but she said alcohol was the factor. I took her texts completely different the way she did, but I was always willing to go to the engineering building and study..etc, etc. Her boyfriend broke up with her, I was her rebound.

I realize the faults I did prior and now I could care less about giving her the time of day. My actions are never going to reverse myself, so why even try? I wasted a year when in my mind I thought I had a chance, and got friend zoned hard.

Now this girl has moved through guys like none other. I find it funny, because realistically I thought she was an innocent girl (at least sophomore year) but now she just uses guys to her advantage. She claims that she wants to find someone perfect, but I fail to believe that.

Cliffs: Be yourself and don't trying to change the way you act around girls. I did that trying to think that's what they wanted, and it's ended up with me in senior year regretting the sh!t I use to go for. I go out to be with my friends, if a girl comes by I'll engage...I stopped trying to figure out what they want and trying to make it happen.
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Old 09-30-2012, 02:41 PM   #44
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Cliffs: Be yourself and don't trying to change the way you act around girls. I did that trying to think that's what they wanted, and it's ended up with me in senior year regretting the sh!t I use to go for. I go out to be with my friends, if a girl comes by I'll engage...I stopped trying to figure out what they want and trying to make it happen.
THIS. If you focus on yourself and your interests, you automatically seem more "disinterested" like what Collins was saying, because you do have your own interests and are not putting 100% of your effort into chasing X girl.

This thread is adorable
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Old 10-02-2012, 04:18 PM   #45
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This thread is adorable
I just like how Alex thanks everyone in this thread for the awesome advice.
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Old 10-02-2012, 08:21 PM   #46
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lol @ people trying to be a hard ass and acting too cool for a girl, that reeks of insecurity and over thought and you look like douche...I slept with countless women and meet my wife in college by being simply chill, having crazy fun and a great network of friends. I'm also 6'4" so that def helped lol.

Women dig a cool dude who is not a d!ck, listens and picks up signs...If she is signaling for a date -take her on one. If she is signaling for a doggy style pounding on a balcony (I see ya solly) well make it happen. Don't over think.
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Old 10-02-2012, 10:08 PM   #47
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Not one person ITT said to be a hardass and be too cool for a girl.
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Old 10-03-2012, 11:50 AM   #48
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There are tons a ghey theories in here about acting disinterested, display having more options of women then said girl and flat out playing games - basically to cool. I cannot help but apply the theory "those that can do and those that can't coach" Bunch of coaches in here.
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Old 10-03-2012, 12:11 PM   #49
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Not one person ITT said to act disinterested. We stated to focus on yourself, while showing interest. That's just how your insecurities are seeing it by pointing out other insecurities to make yourself feel better. If you don't think a girl seeing you with another girl works, I highly doubt you ever got laid as much as you brag.

Edit: and when I say "another girl," I'm not saying a girl on your hip like a girlfriend. I'm just saying being seen mingling with other girls shows lack of fear, confidence, and more options than just her.
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Old 10-03-2012, 12:31 PM   #50
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My insecurities? I never had to lie to a girl about my availability to give the impression I'm busy or hang on other girls to make someone jealous. This reminds me of ghey teen movie plotting on vag. Just act right and experience sets in.
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Old 10-03-2012, 12:42 PM   #51
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My insecurities? I never had to lie to a girl about my availability to give the impression I'm busy or hang on other girls to make someone jealous. This reminds me of ghey teen movie plotting on vag. Just act right and experience sets in.
Your insecurities want what I'm saying to be what you think it is. Instead of listening to what I'm saying and realizing it works. But, you're not being rational and logical, you're being emotional. I never said "hang on a girl to make another jealous," that's just your take on something you never did. I said to focus on you, and don't put all your eggs in one basket like most people do. Don't be afraid to meet multiple girls in one night, show your have many options. You're not literally looking at the other girls hoping they see it, you're showing that all you care about is your well-being. Stop generalizing with jersey shore bull sh1t, and try to think psychologically. I can give dozens of ways acting cool can fail, or even being too direct. Nothing is concrete.
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Old 10-03-2012, 12:55 PM   #52
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Your insecurities want what I'm saying to be what you think it is. Instead of listening to what I'm saying and realizing it works. But, you're not being rational and logical, you're being emotional. I never said "hang on a girl to make another jealous," that's just your take on something you never did. I said to focus on you, and don't put all your eggs in one basket like most people do. Don't be afraid to meet multiple girls in one night, show your have many options. You're not literally looking at the other girls hoping they see it, you're showing that all you care about is your well-being. Stop generalizing with jersey shore bull sh1t, and try to think psychologically. I can give dozens of ways acting cool can fail, or even being too direct. Nothing is concrete.
It must suck not being an alpha male and having to always be conscious of your every move when talking with women. When you're mature, the things you preach will be natural to you.
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Old 10-03-2012, 01:03 PM   #53
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It is natural to me, hence my knowledge of it at such a young age. Not quite sure how "only caring about you" translates to worrying about what you say to others, but I guess that's how your brain works. I can also assure maturity has nothing to do with it, as I have members on here that will confirm I'm a lot more mature than others my age. I'm also talking about picking college girls, that aren't mature, versus an established, mature one. I have many scenarios and techniques to go along with them. But you must of ignored me saying that 3 times in ITT.
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Old 10-03-2012, 01:27 PM   #54
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If maturity has nothing to do with it why are you telling me you're mature for your age? Also women are typically more mature than men, this includes college women.
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Old 10-03-2012, 01:44 PM   #55
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Quit the bickering. This isn't the political subforum

<- Nice, friendly guy who only found success via pure dumb luck until I learned to "play the game". Spent my sophomore year of college learning how "the game" worked and crushed it all junior and senior year. I'm a moral dude and have high standards when it comes to women so my # may not be as high as others but I'm very confident in my skill set in this area.. and I can assure you that "the game" must be played if you'd like to be successful with a large number of women.

There is certainly an argument to be made that one should just be themselves.. after all, why start up a relationship on a fake note. But often "ourselves" are not the sexy guys that women will go for. And that's not a result of some people (myself included) being lame, but rather being too polite and following too closely the advice given to us by mom and dad when we were growing up (holding doors, talking about waht they want to talk about, not pushing too quickly, etc).

One of my best friends is AMAZING with women and always has been. He slept with a dozen or more women a year in college and that was just the ones he would talk about (there were tons of others). HE IS A JERK. Many of my friends don't get why I hang with him as he's not a very friendly person (unless he knows you and is invested in you).. but he does amazingly well with women. And yet, you'd hear nothing around campus but "oh he's an ass" from the girls.. and the same girls that would say that woudl then be sucking his....... and why? Not because he was "playing a game" but because he naturally behaved in the manner that they went for.

So I'm not ashamed when I say that I "acted" when picking up girls (now am in a serious relationship and don't play those games anymore).. because to acknowledge that I didn't need to play a game or act a certain way would be me admitting to being a jerk (because that's what girls go for).

I'm sure there are guys on here that are just incredibly good looking, tall, strong, whatever guys and they don't need to do anything because of their looks or natural charm. But to provide advice to the masses and say "be yourself" is just not going to help anyone.

Trust me OP and follow my posts in here. You'll be fine
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Old 10-06-2012, 02:40 PM   #56
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Dude
You are thinking too much
I skimmed through most of what you wrote... don't try to fake anything
Just handle your business
You are in college
Go to class, hang with friends, and hang with this girl when you can and want


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Btw I met Collin in person, probably one of the chillest guys on this forum.

Edit: and Alex just be yourself and be comfortable in your own shoes. You have time man.
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Old 10-06-2012, 02:46 PM   #57
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Braaahh you drive a lsb m3 and dont have beeshes chasing you, better replace your cooling system !!!!
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Old 10-08-2012, 10:40 PM   #58
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this thread escalated pretty quickly.
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Old 10-10-2012, 07:05 PM   #59
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Collins hands down has the best posts on this website. Great advice like always man, if you had a twitter, i'd follow you haha
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no offense to the owners on here, but I've never met a 350Z owner that wasn't a douche. are you a douche?
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Old 10-13-2012, 07:37 PM   #60
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OP, easy.

No need to pretend or anything hopefully and by the sounds of it you ahve a life outside of her.

If she's nearby and you have some down time and it's convenient for you ask her to join you. no biggie if she can't. She says she can't multiple times let her reach out to you. If she doesn't be glad you didn't waste your time. Don't take it personally
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