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Love Line

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Old 10-06-2012, 11:18 AM   #101
redtoesblue
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Eh, from what you posted it seems like you were as kind as you could be. The wrong way would have been to blow up and say a bunch of cruel things. It doesn't sound like you did that. It's a sad situation, but it appears to be the right thing to do.
I was nice, and I keep replaying her facial reaction when I told her in my mind. It hurts big time.

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Okay, so the answer is simple. Renounce Islam and get baptized as a Catholic.
Thats not happening, the problem is future kids I think.

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No. She doesn't want you, so she is going to have her fun and expect you to be sitting there waiting patiently for her. Move on, meet more women, and she will quickly become just a girl to you. She knows you're weak, don't let her do that to you. You've already shown weak qualities she doesn't want in a guy, no chance you'll ever convince her otherwise.

You surrendered your entire self way too fast, and she wants someone she has to chase and convince to be with her, not a guy that falls in love that quickly. She used the Muslim part as an excuse. She was with those "guys that treated her like sh1t" because she liked it, not because she was a poor innocent girl.

Edit: not trying to be too harsh, you seem like a good guy, find a girl that sees that.
If she doesn't want me, why would she message me? Why would she say things that are caring and things she knows I lack in and to improve on?

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Agree with all above. But just one thing I thought should be brought up. Your girl got off her meds and about the same time she freaks out about the relationship. Do you know if she's gotten back on her meds know. Not trying to be smart ass but I know a few woman who use that med. Oh my god are they insane when they are off. Just a thought. The first bad you made when she started talking about the relationship not working was you turned into a woman. Like everybody else said Sorta... Walk around like your d!ck is 15 inches. Be sensitive. But Be a Man! That goes with any girl you meet. Best of luck Op.
She is not back on meds, I had a moment of weakness and spilled my emotions, I know. I just thought I could be honest & trust her with those emotions and for her not to use that against me. Perhaps that is just a natural woman response.
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Old 10-06-2012, 11:47 AM   #102
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Dude you made the right call. Speaking from experience here. Im a catholic and I dated a beautiful muslim girl from work most recently. Started out as FWB but it got messy and I screwed up and then she screwed up and it's done. We barely talk. She would send me random text like the ones the girl you were seeing was but then that stopped. It probably will between you two too. End of story. I tried to make it right between us but the chemistry went sour even though we agreed to be friends. Then I realized that trying wasn't getting me anywhere and the relationship wasn't going anywhere. Just made me weak and vulnerable. Not worth it and I hate putting myself in that position. It's very stressful on the mind. I hate that I lost a dear friend to me but there's nothing else I can do. Same goes for you. Stop analyzing every word and experience. Try to think of the good moments and not the bad complicated stuff. But better yet, don't think about her at all. Occupy your mind for the next couple months with other stuff: work on your car, business, whatever hobby.

If she comes back, worry about it then, but hate to break it to you I don't think that this has a good ending. Sorry mate. Let me know if I can help in any other way.

Stay strong. Good luck.

Last edited by najsauto; 10-06-2012 at 11:48 AM. Reason: cutting out curse words like a boss
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Old 10-06-2012, 01:04 PM   #103
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She is not back on meds, I had a moment of weakness and spilled my emotions, I know. I just thought I could be honest & trust her with those emotions and for her not to use that against me. Perhaps that is just a natural woman response.
Stop with the emotions man. Go out with a few guy friends to a bar and then a gentlemens club. The more emotion you show her right now the Worse you are making it. She is going to call/txt you to see if your still her little puppy dog. You do to want be a little puppy dog in her eyes or any other woman's eyes for that matter. There is nothing wrong with being dorky romantic with your girl. But you cant be that way all the time. Save the emotional responses for when they are meant to be used. Just remember your a man not woman. If you she wanted a woman she would be lesbian.
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Old 10-07-2012, 12:52 AM   #104
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Dude you made the right call. Speaking from experience here. Im a catholic and I dated a beautiful muslim girl from work most recently. Started out as FWB but it got messy and I screwed up and then she screwed up and it's done. We barely talk. She would send me random text like the ones the girl you were seeing was but then that stopped. It probably will between you two too. End of story. I tried to make it right between us but the chemistry went sour even though we agreed to be friends. Then I realized that trying wasn't getting me anywhere and the relationship wasn't going anywhere. Just made me weak and vulnerable. Not worth it and I hate putting myself in that position. It's very stressful on the mind. I hate that I lost a dear friend to me but there's nothing else I can do. Same goes for you. Stop analyzing every word and experience. Try to think of the good moments and not the bad complicated stuff. But better yet, don't think about her at all. Occupy your mind for the next couple months with other stuff: work on your car, business, whatever hobby.

If she comes back, worry about it then, but hate to break it to you I don't think that this has a good ending. Sorry mate. Let me know if I can help in any other way.

Stay strong. Good luck.
Damn, sorry man. I am slowly moving on.

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Stop with the emotions man. Go out with a few guy friends to a bar and then a gentlemens club. The more emotion you show her right now the Worse you are making it. She is going to call/txt you to see if your still her little puppy dog. You do to want be a little puppy dog in her eyes or any other woman's eyes for that matter. There is nothing wrong with being dorky romantic with your girl. But you cant be that way all the time. Save the emotional responses for when they are meant to be used. Just remember your a man not woman. If you she wanted a woman she would be lesbian.
Last night, I went out with a few buddies to a party, hit on plenty of girls, but I didn't like any single one of them. I ended up feeling worse at the end of the night.

The funny thing is, this whole time I was with her, I was also trying to find her replacement, testing myself to see if there are other girls I am attracted to, but I wasn't able to even with her and felt so lucky while with her that I am with someone that I am attracted to on so many levels.

Why the hell is it so hard to meet girls who have their act together?
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Old 10-07-2012, 01:05 AM   #105
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One thing I will mention, is that without you guys I would've been worse off. I would have totally been super emotional and completely lost it while there. The help has been invaluable and has given me some framework as to how to handle things in the future.

The crappy part is that she is still following me on twitter & we are friends on facebook, what should I do about that? I don't want to put up info on twitter anymore cause she will be seeing it, likewise on facebook.
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Old 10-07-2012, 01:31 AM   #106
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Defriend. Its 1 mouse click.

BTW, its HARD to be married. Even if your form the same religion. Starting from this fundamental difference is more than I'd tangle with... I've been married 25 years this year, my wife camr from a different Cristian church than me, and that caused enough Kaos, I got lucky, she decided my families church was more to her personnel belief than the more out there version she came from.

BTW pretty much most of the Cristian faith religions believe that if you don't believe in christ, you are doomed. Most of us are raised to a certain age with little choice in belief system, no matter how old you get some of that sticks with you.... If she is serious enough to want baptism ,,, there is very little chance the religious differences will pass... If she is still practicing Catholic there is NONE....

And unlike you it seems she has figured it out... If she spent an hour studying the Koran or information about the Muslim faith she would know that the Muslim religion believe the counter view...

I'd let her go, and move on. IN the long run it will save the both of you significant pain...


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Old 10-07-2012, 01:53 AM   #107
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You don't have to delete her as a friend from Facebook. You can hide her posts from your wall so you will never have to be reminded of what she is doing, but she can see what you post. This can play to your advantage. Don't let her think you stopped having fun just because she isn't around. If you normally post about what your doing and/or always tagging where you are then continue to do so.

Let her see that it's her loss. Maybe after seeing that your still doing you and meeting new people she will realize what a mistake she made. If so, she will find the correct way to approach you about fixing things. *Maybe* being the key word here.
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Old 10-07-2012, 09:50 AM   #108
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Defriend. Its 1 mouse click.

BTW, its HARD to be married. Even if your form the same religion. Starting from this fundamental difference is more than I'd tangle with... I've been married 25 years this year, my wife camr from a different Cristian church than me, and that caused enough Kaos, I got lucky, she decided my families church was more to her personnel belief than the more out there version she came from.

BTW pretty much most of the Cristian faith religions believe that if you don't believe in christ, you are doomed. Most of us are raised to a certain age with little choice in belief system, no matter how old you get some of that sticks with you.... If she is serious enough to want baptism ,,, there is very little chance the religious differences will pass... If she is still practicing Catholic there is NONE....

And unlike you it seems she has figured it out... If she spent an hour studying the Koran or information about the Muslim faith she would know that the Muslim religion believe the counter view...

I'd let her go, and move on. IN the long run it will save the both of you significant pain...


DT
We believe in Jesus in Islam as a prophet, but either way, I thought if two people who are educated and love each other could manage to find a way to make things work.

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You don't have to delete her as a friend from Facebook. You can hide her posts from your wall so you will never have to be reminded of what she is doing, but she can see what you post. This can play to your advantage. Don't let her think you stopped having fun just because she isn't around. If you normally post about what your doing and/or always tagging where you are then continue to do so.

Let her see that it's her loss. Maybe after seeing that your still doing you and meeting new people she will realize what a mistake she made. If so, she will find the correct way to approach you about fixing things. *Maybe* being the key word here.
Well, right now I would've post sad stuff, but I am going to start posting positive happy stuff. I hate that I am checking her tweets & posts too.

It seems like she is sad as well based upon her tweets.
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Old 10-07-2012, 10:04 AM   #109
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You don't have to delete her as a friend from Facebook. You can hide her posts from your wall so you will never have to be reminded of what she is doing, but she can see what you post. This can play to your advantage. Don't let her think you stopped having fun just because she isn't around. If you normally post about what your doing and/or always tagging where you are then continue to do so.

Let her see that it's her loss. Maybe after seeing that your still doing you and meeting new people she will realize what a mistake she made. If so, she will find the correct way to approach you about fixing things. *Maybe* being the key word here.
Was thinking about posting some generic tweets, like met this awesome girl, or basically tweets about meeting people. Just to rattle her cage a bit. Good idea? Bad Idea?
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Old 10-07-2012, 11:11 AM   #110
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don't make up stories, it might back fire on you. If you do meet a girl yeah why not? I know the plan right now is to get over her but remember that bridge as of right now isn't totally burned yet. The ball is in your court now, live life. If one day she wants to fix things it will be totally up you to decide if she deserves a second chance.

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Old 10-07-2012, 07:07 PM   #111
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don't make up stories, it might back fire on you. If you do meet a girl yeah why not? I know the plan right now is to get over her but remember that bridge as of right now isn't totally burned yet. The ball is in your court now, live life. If one day she wants to fix things it will be totally up you to decide if she deserves a second chance.
I am moving forward, I need to meet others and have fun. I am not sure about you guys, but I love talking to girls and really enjoy their company. So I do tweet about things as well.

Also, I buy suits, shop, etc. and check into places via 4square so she'd be seeing where I go. All of this is stuff I normally do and do not make up.

BTW, guys I am supposed to have dinner with a girl who is younger and is in school on Thursday, hopefully that goes well.
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Old 10-07-2012, 07:45 PM   #112
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You're wasting your time going out with girls if you haven't dissociated yourself from the last one. The fact that you're still doing things like check into 4square so she sees it means you actually hope that it works and she comes back running. Until you swallow the pill that she's gone, you're wasting the potential girls time, and yours, and prolonging the inevitable move away from the last one.
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Old 10-08-2012, 07:49 AM   #113
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Collin is right. You're not really detaching yourself from her. Instead you are trying these tactics as ploys to hopefully mind-phuck her to wanting you back. It doesn't work.

Sure there are tactics and mind games out there that could get her back...but it would not be lasting. The same old issues will be there in her head...and after a week or three weeks she will be out the door again. Trust us bud. Let it go and do things for you. Stop checking in, stop thinking that another girl this soon will work as a ploy. Literally fall off the radar and be you.
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Old 10-08-2012, 08:58 AM   #114
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Agree with Collin and Mark, don't make sh!t up just so she can be jealous. If those are the things you're actually doing then whatever, but don't go out of your way to make her feel bad. It won't work and you look like an idiot in the end.
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Old 10-08-2012, 10:26 AM   #115
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Agree with Collin and Mark, don't make sh!t up just so she can be jealous. If those are the things you're actually doing then whatever, but don't go out of your way to make her feel bad. It won't work and you look like an idiot in the end.
Thats not what I am doing. What I meant is going back to what I normally do which is post on twitter of stuff I do and people I meet. Nothing to make her jealous or going out of the way for.

I am hoping to meet with the new girl to get back into things and seeing people. I am not letting this situation slow me down. I know what makes me happy and if I am with someone else (friends, family, new girl, whoever), my mind is not drifting back to the old girl. Basically meeting new people as friends or whatever and moving on.

BTW, she texted the following last night:

"I miss you and this isn't easy. I just worry about you. And I know time will take care of everything. I just wanted u to at minimum know that you were on my mind."

I did not respond. Do you think that these texts are designed to see if I am still on her leash? Why would anyone who says that they cannot be with me, understood that as soon as I leave that there would be no further communication try to reach out like that?
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Old 10-08-2012, 10:44 AM   #116
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Tried that, no one responded back. Even the back up booty call
You're contradicting yourself here. You say you are completely devastated, and want nothing more than to have this girl back, but you've already contacted your 'former pipeline of girls'?

Dude, this has gone on long enough. She doesn't want you. You only need one vagina in each relationship, and she already has one. Man the f*ck up and move on with your life.
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Old 10-08-2012, 11:23 AM   #117
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BTW, she texted the following last night:

"I miss you and this isn't easy. I just worry about you. And I know time will take care of everything. I just wanted u to at minimum know that you were on my mind."

I did not respond. Do you think that these texts are designed to see if I am still on her leash? Why would anyone who says that they cannot be with me, understood that as soon as I leave that there would be no further communication try to reach out like that?
That's exactly why. She wants to remain in a position of power. Don't let her have that and keep doing what you're doing.

Also, whoever this next girl is, don't expect anything serious out of it. Heck don't even try to make anything serious out of it.
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Old 10-08-2012, 11:31 AM   #118
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That's exactly why. She wants to remain in a position of power. Don't let her have that and keep doing what you're doing.

Also, whoever this next girl is, don't expect anything serious out of it. Heck don't even try to make anything serious out of it.
How long do you think she will keep this up? Do you think that she will just come back? I am not holding my breathe or waiting for it, just curious if this would be a normal course of action.

Next girl I will not try to make it serious at all. Completely casual.
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Old 10-08-2012, 11:31 AM   #119
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As soon as a thread starts turning to these "rules of power" and "relationship game theory," I'm out.
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Old 10-08-2012, 11:54 AM   #120
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She feels guilty because she can't let herself like a good guy, she wants the asshole. That's her way of letting you down nicely. Move on.
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