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Old 02-20-2013, 11:07 AM   #61
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I remember when I knew; and then I knew again, and again, and again.


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dude you are something else. You are so over the top it's not even funny. You are the exact type of guy that gets his heart shattered because he is too nice. You need a little more edge to you. You are a dime a dozen and she will eventually get bored of it. You then go ahead and ask her if she will appreciate this? That screamed insecurity. Something tells me this is your first crack a really pretty girl and all you want to do is show her off and show her how much you care about her. Both are dangerous this soon into a relationship. I hope I'm wrong and I know damn well that there are plenty of relationships that workout like this one but the odds are against you. I'm not trying to scare you, I'm just letting you know I've been there with plenty of girls. My game at your age was very similar. Treat a girl like gold and she'll be yours forever. lol not even close.
Even now I try to curtail that.

Treat a woman like gold and she treats you like ****, treat her like **** and she treats you like gold.
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Old 02-20-2013, 11:18 AM   #62
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Even now I try to curtail that.

Treat a woman like gold and she treats you like ****, treat her like **** and she treats you like gold.
I wouldn't go that far. Talking about quality girls now, you still have to be a good dude and not a full out assh0le. You just have to make sure you are fun, funny, confident, and valuable. Not monetarily but socially meaning people like being around you, both guys and girls. These qualities will always help you out. Being a overly nice guy that does nothing but compliment his girl will come off as insecure and make you seem like a beta male, which is right. You need to take charge, not be an assh0le but don't be affraid to say no, to be sarcastic, and go what you want at times. Lets be honest, none of us, or any normal guy for that matter is swimming in girls in the 7-10 rating range so when one comes up it's extremely hard to not be the best guy ever (which a lot of people think is super nice, do anything they want types). Just act like it's not a big deal, treat her right, and have a good time. Make her know she is the lucky one. Not the other way around. Another thing I've noticed recently is joke around and talk to the service people you're with together. They'll notice it and think of you as a nice guy in a good way. I've had my gf tell me how she's never seen someone talk to waiters, cab drivers, etc like me. I just bs with them and make them comfortable.

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Old 02-20-2013, 11:23 AM   #63
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dude you are something else. You are so over the top it's not even funny. You are the exact type of guy that gets his heart shattered because he is too nice. You need a little more edge to you. You are a dime a dozen and she will eventually get bored of it. You then go ahead and ask her if she will appreciate this? That screamed insecurity. Something tells me this is your first crack a really pretty girl and all you want to do is show her off and show her how much you care about her. Both are dangerous this soon into a relationship. I hope I'm wrong and I know damn well that there are plenty of relationships that workout like this one but the odds are against you. I'm not trying to scare you, I'm just letting you know I've been there with plenty of girls. My game at your age was very similar. Treat a girl like gold and she'll be yours forever. lol not even close.
I try to instill this into my friend, and he INSISTS "nah, i'm a nice guy and im proud of it!" He then shows me this video. This is the same guy during our study abroad trip in barbados, he was banging the hottest girl in the group...her gf told him he HAS to be kind of an asshole to her..he refused..he lost her, and STILL talks about her to this day. This was three years ago. And he claims he has no idea what happened.


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Old 02-20-2013, 11:27 AM   #64
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I try to instill this into my friend, and he INSISTS "nah, i'm a nice guy and im proud of it!" He then shows me this video.

I'll have to watch this later.

If you were to ask my gf she would tell you I am a nice guy. I genuinely am but not all nice guys are the same. Most "nice" guys are chumps that are insecure and do anything a girl wants them to. I'm a nice guy that cares about people, has manners, is empathetic etc but will never be a boring nice guy. Her definition of nice guy is not the traditional definition of nice guy.

When people like me say nice guys finish last I am talking about those push overs. Not saying to be a complete dick. That can def get you some girls but if you want a good relationship it's not going to land you anything but an insecure b1tch of a gf that probably nags the sh1t out of you.

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Old 02-20-2013, 11:29 AM   #65
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They don't want an asshole, they want someone that has their own agenda, not someone that makes the girl their only agenda.
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Old 02-20-2013, 11:35 AM   #66
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They don't want an asshole, they want someone that has their own agenda, not someone that makes the girl their only agenda.
which to the outside world can seem like an assh0le. Especially to competing nice guys. All of our mutual female friends love that we're together because they think I'm a good dude. Some of our mutual guy friends think I'm an assh0le. I am known as the assh0le of my group. Of course my friends don't think I really am. They just know I have that "i don't give a fuuck" attitude. Guess which friend always got the most girls lol.
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Old 02-20-2013, 11:52 AM   #67
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I wouldn't go that far. Talking about quality girls now, you still have to be a good dude and not a full out assh0le. You just have to make sure you are fun, funny, confident, and valuable. Not monetarily but socially meaning people like being around you, both guys and girls. These qualities will always help you out. Being a overly nice guy that does nothing but compliment his girl will come off as insecure and make you seem like a beta male, which is right. You need to take charge, not be an assh0le but don't be affraid to say no, to be sarcastic, and go what you want at times. Lets be honest, none of us, or any normal guy for that matter is swimming in girls in the 7-10 rating range so when one comes up it's extremely hard to not be the best guy ever (which a lot of people think is super nice, do anything they want types). Just act like it's not a big deal, treat her right, and have a good time. Make her know she is the lucky one. Not the other way around. Another thing I've noticed recently is joke around and talk to the service people you're with together. They'll notice it and think of you as a nice guy in a good way. I've had my gf tell me how she's never seen someone talk to waiters, cab drivers, etc like me. I just bs with them and make them comfortable.
I always ask for the servers name and chat with them. Helps out a lot. I use that previous phrase with a grain of salt. Like those poon commandments extreme but the core idea is sound.
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Old 02-20-2013, 11:59 AM   #68
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Treat a woman like gold and she treats you like ****, treat her like **** and she treats you like gold.
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...you still have to be a good dude and not a full out assh0le. You just have to make sure you are fun, funny, confident, and valuable.
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They don't want an asshole, they want someone that has their own agenda, not someone that makes the girl their only agenda.
Women want what they want. Just don't lose sight of who you are as a person. There is no point pretending to be something you're not.

That said... if your thing is to Dutch Oven a girl every chance you get, then you might be waiting longer than others to find Mrs. Right.
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Old 02-20-2013, 12:01 PM   #69
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We derailed the sh1t out of this thread
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Old 02-20-2013, 12:03 PM   #70
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what was this thread even about? lol

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Old 02-20-2013, 12:05 PM   #71
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what was this thread even about? lol
It's about insecure men feeling threatened when a woman makes more than themselves...


and assholes.
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Old 02-20-2013, 12:10 PM   #72
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dude you are something else. You are so over the top it's not even funny. You are the exact type of guy that gets his heart shattered because he is too nice. You need a little more edge to you. You are a dime a dozen and she will eventually get bored of it. You then go ahead and ask her if she will appreciate this? That screamed insecurity. Something tells me this is your first crack a really pretty girl and all you want to do is show her off and show her how much you care about her. Both are dangerous this soon into a relationship. I hope I'm wrong and I know damn well that there are plenty of relationships that workout like this one but the odds are against you. I'm not trying to scare you, I'm just letting you know I've been there with plenty of girls. My game at your age was very similar. Treat a girl like gold and she'll be yours forever. lol not even close.
I can understand where you are coming from, but with all due respect you haven't exactly got me all figured out here. All that you know is that im a complete sap for this girl. To be honest it never crossed my mind to ask a girl to pay for anything. I have had a 4 year relationship with this girl (all through highschool)



6 months with this girl...


And now my current girl....Who is in an entirely different league than my previous relationships. Naive? Absolutely. Borderline stupidity? Probably. But until things start taking a turn for the worse i want things to stay just they way they are, because i am happy. And that's what matters most....right?

Its not like i take her out every night. We work opposite schedules, so the time we do have together. I want to make it special.
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Old 02-20-2013, 12:13 PM   #73
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Old 02-20-2013, 12:16 PM   #74
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While we can all understand that the problem is that everytime you make it special it becomes an expectation that eventually no one can live up to. Let's flip the script what if EVERYTIME you saw her, she blew you with her A game stuff. Eventually you'd come to expect that same dedication and effort right? Then suppose she starts giving you B game or stops blowing you altogether. You may start thinking things like she no longer cares or she no longer lives up to the expectations you've become used to.

Now reapply that example to your situation and what you just said above by waiting for things to take a turn for the worse. You're already partially putting that scenario in motion by giving her that expectation. We all want you to be happy that's why this forum is here, to help each other out. We're just giving you our wealth of trial and error experience is all.
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Old 02-20-2013, 12:25 PM   #75
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Let's flip the script what if EVERYTIME you saw her, she blew you with her A game stuff. Eventually you'd come to expect that same dedication and effort right? Then suppose she starts giving you B game or stops blowing you altogether.

When you put it like that.....Fukdat.

I suppose i will slow down the spending. Or at least try. I can honestly say though, even if i didn't take her out. We would still be together. Shes a good girl. A really good girl.
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Old 02-20-2013, 12:32 PM   #76
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Women want what they want. Just don't lose sight of who you are as a person. There is no point pretending to be something you're not.

That said... if your thing is to Dutch Oven a girl every chance you get, then you might be waiting longer than others to find Mrs. Right.
I agree with that. I feel like the game is a bunch of nonsense if it changes you as a person. Luckily the person I am is the person girls seem to like. I sound like such a douche. Forgive me.

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While we can all understand that the problem is that everytime you make it special it becomes an expectation that eventually no one can live up to. Let's flip the script what if EVERYTIME you saw her, she blew you with her A game stuff. Eventually you'd come to expect that same dedication and effort right? Then suppose she starts giving you B game or stops blowing you altogether. You may start thinking things like she no longer cares or she no longer lives up to the expectations you've become used to.

Now reapply that example to your situation and what you just said above by waiting for things to take a turn for the worse. You're already partially putting that scenario in motion by giving her that expectation. We all want you to be happy that's why this forum is here, to help each other out. We're just giving you our wealth of trial and error experience is all.
very true

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When you put it like that.....Fukdat.

I suppose i will slow down the spending. Or at least try. I can honestly say though, even if i didn't take her out. We would still be together. Shes a good girl. A really good girl.
This is my point. Don't let her think you are doing these things to keep her around. Plus, a home cooked meal will usually go farther than taking her out. the roses and stuff was a little over the top.

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Old 02-20-2013, 01:20 PM   #77
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When you put it like that.....Fukdat.

I suppose i will slow down the spending. Or at least try. I can honestly say though, even if i didn't take her out. We would still be together. Shes a good girl. A really good girl.
No, you can't honestly say, because you've been dating a month. You know how many girls I've seen flip the b1tch switch on after a couple months? Just like you'll stop being less of a white knight over time. Stop making predictions you have zero reasoning behind other than your wants. Think logically, not emotionally.
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Old 02-20-2013, 01:37 PM   #78
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No, you can't honestly say, because you've been dating a month. You know how many girls I've seen flip the b1tch switch on after a couple months? Just like you'll stop being less of a white knight over time. Stop making predictions you have zero reasoning behind other than your wants. Think logically, not emotionally.
Dude. Its been 3 months. For living 20 years, that's a decent amount of time . And i can honestly say......Whether or not she "flips the bitch switch" i don't know... She has never asked to go out. Taking her out to dinner, or making it for her is not white knight worthy....Its a simple gesture to show that i care about her. I am an asshole, just not to women like some of you are suggesting. She doesn't drink, smoke, party, straight A student, not slutty, knows what she wants in life, awesome musician, beautiful. Everything i am doing is totally warranted and what i consider to be normal...as far as i'm concerned, its appreciated.

Edit: I understand where you are coming from, i honestly do. But having faith in another person or how a situation/relationship will turn out is a great thing to have in life.
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Old 02-20-2013, 01:40 PM   #79
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She doesn't drink, smoke, party, not slutty...
The exact opposite of what you should want when you're 20.
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Old 02-20-2013, 01:43 PM   #80
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The exact opposite of what you should want when you're 20.
Been there done that. That's what makes for a stressful relationship. Something im not interested in right now.
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