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Old 04-05-2013, 10:48 PM   #1
lownslowb7
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Need help with girls (srs)

Well I am a active member here but don't really wanna reveal myself.

I am having a serious problem that I am embarrassed to talk about with my friends or family. I am 20, I am good looking, I have nice things , I am not a outcast or anything but I am having a huge problems with girls and this suddenly escalated this year.

During high school I had a few girlfriends but one that I really liked. I really liked that girl, I had no problems talking to girls in high school, it was easy and natural. After 2 years of being with the girl, she was having sex with one of my "good" friends. After that, I was very hurt, I started seeing another girl and a year later same thing happened. Two times in a row, I was very hurt by this point.

After those two incidents I started distancing myself from girls and most of my friends (which I didn't realize at the time). Final years of high school started and I was thinking something might be wrong with me because this happened twice in a row. I could not understand what was wrong with me and why both girls cheated on me. I started focusing more on my car, I would mod my car all the time and order parts for it, go to meets, met new people. I met some really cool people. Anyway high school was coming to an end and I started realizing how nervous girls make me feel now. I figured its because this is the same school where those girls and my so called "friends" ****ed me over and everything would change in college

College started, I made some really cool new friends but I started noticing something. I became even more nervous girls. I started thinking stupid thoughts like "they must think I am ugly", "they think I am a loser", "they must think I am stupid". It pains me to even have a conversation with a pretty girl now without thinking these thoughts. I am haunted by previous memories and I am getting so sick and tired of it. There were a few girls this semester that were interested in me and everyone told me and I could see it but I just had no idea what to do. I cant even keep a simple conversation going, I start becoming nervous, my lips dry, its sooooooooo embarrassing and so frustrating. I can only talk about whats going on in class nothing else, I keep thinking they will think I am stupid, sometimes I don't even know what I am thinking. and it messes me up. Everything that was so natural to me is so hard and frustrating now.

I honestly don't know what happened. I can't talk to girls or approach them anymore. I see the girls that were interested in me, I can tell they want to talk but I just keep on walking or ignore them thinking whatever I will say will be stupid or they will think I am ugly or something. If a good looking girl is waiting with me for something I can't make any conversation so I just pretend to play on my phone.

Its getting so frustrating, I lay in bed all night thinking what a loser I am. I started blaming everyone for the way I have become, I took off all the mods on my car and gave them all away because I started hating it, nothing gives me joy anymore. I just want to go back to my old self but I can't. It pains me so much to see all my friends having fun and having no problems talking to all these girls and here I am getting all nervous and not knowing what to say. I fear this will only get worse and worse. Right now no one thinks much of it, when I go out and party I am fine when I am a bit drunk LOL. But when normal, its really a struggle to make conversation.

I really want to become normal again with girls. Its eating me up inside, since nothing else gives me joy anymore because I think I am a huge bafoon. Before I would work on my car or take it for a fun spirited drive or head over to a meet but now all those things disgust me, I hate my car. Does anyone have any advice or anything? I can't ask my friends or family or anything like that, they will think I am weird.

Hope you guys can give me tips and advice and help me out.
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Old 04-05-2013, 11:11 PM   #2
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I know you've mentioned this many times, but you dont have a best friend you can talk to about this? A true friend wouldn't judge you. I dont even know you and I'm not judging you.
He could be your wing man and help you get back in the game
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Old 04-05-2013, 11:14 PM   #3
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Old 04-05-2013, 11:14 PM   #4
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You need to stop being so soft and self-loathing. It is extremely unattractive to any girl. Be confident, be yourself. It's an age old cliche but it's 110% true.

edit: You're 20. Lmao. There's gonna be plenty more heartbreaks and lessons of love coming your way. Dust off your shoulders and be a man, seriously...
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Old 04-05-2013, 11:19 PM   #5
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You need to stop thinking of girls as some sacred beings and just be yourself. Fact is, those girls that cheated on you were b1tches.

Now laugh at this.
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Old 04-05-2013, 11:25 PM   #6
lownslowb7
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Thanks for the replies guys.

I do have some close guy friends but we are all at different schools now. The new guys I met here I am close with but I don't want to say anything like that, I guess its just me thinking stupid again.

I know the best way to avoid this is to stop thinking girls are sacred beings, but how I can just stop, it always comes back to me. My lips get dry, I get nervous all of a sudden, I can't think of what to talk about. SMH
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Old 04-05-2013, 11:29 PM   #7
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It's all about inner game man, relax, be outcome independent. When you talk to a girl don't think about how hot she is and how to impress her, just have a casual conversation like you would have with your friends. Girls are not any different than your guy friends or you, they also have insecurities and fears...
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Old 04-05-2013, 11:29 PM   #8
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Do you think about a relationship with every girl you see? Maybe you should just stick to being friends with girls. Like no sex relationships. Maybe that can allow you to become more comfortable with girls again. Things are a lot easier with girls when sex isn't on the table.
Start with no risk relationships. Just hangout with some girls. Go to lunch or bowling with other friends. Don't rush into a relationship. If one is meant to be it will come in time but for now just make friends.
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Old 04-05-2013, 11:30 PM   #9
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Mods please dont ban or delete this post, I really want to get help here, I am not a troll or anything. God that 40 virgin year old video made me feel like such a loser SMH but I am just wondering why it was easy before and now not so much. If I see a random girl what would I even ask a question about
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Old 04-05-2013, 11:32 PM   #10
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I stopped thinking about relationships with girls LONG AGO lol. I don't think like that I just think they are going to judge me for absolutely no reason at all. I know if I get that out of my head everything will become easy again.
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Old 04-05-2013, 11:35 PM   #11
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Also to add to what I said above, try your best not to separate guys from girls. I assume you're ok talking to guys? Just think of girls the same way for a while. I don't want to sound shallow but maybe try talking to less attractive girls. You need to get the idea of sex and relationships out of your head. Get comfortable on a friend level and the rest will come
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Old 04-05-2013, 11:37 PM   #12
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disregard females acquire currency.
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Old 04-05-2013, 11:44 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by mistrzmiasta View Post
disregard females acquire currency.
Sounds like he already has a lot of currency.
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Old 04-05-2013, 11:45 PM   #14
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Sounds like he already has a lot of currency.
not enough to disregard females......


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Old 04-05-2013, 11:45 PM   #15
lownslowb7
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Originally Posted by peytonracer4 View Post
Also to add to what I said above, try your best not to separate guys from girls. I assume you're ok talking to guys? Just think of girls the same way for a while. I don't want to sound shallow but maybe try talking to less attractive girls. You need to get the idea of sex and relationships out of your head. Get comfortable on a friend level and the rest will come
Not shallow at all dude, thats what I am doing. I didn't want to make my post a huge paper for everyone to read. but i am OK with the "less attractive" girls they don't bother me at all.

And totally fine with guys.

I have tried you know thinking I was talking to my guy buddy but still doesn't work. I guess keep trying and once that period passes all will be well again. I hope.

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Old 04-05-2013, 11:47 PM   #16
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Also, http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction
A wealth of information if you want to be really serious about it.
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Old 04-05-2013, 11:50 PM   #17
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I prey this is a troll thread. If not this guy needs to smoke... do yoga.. do w/e the fuk u gota do to zen out....

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Old 04-06-2013, 12:04 AM   #18
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Smoke more weed turtle. Seriously.
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Old 04-06-2013, 12:22 AM   #19
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Lol
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Old 04-06-2013, 12:27 AM   #20
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I know a bunch of girls who date guys like you. I get balls deep in them on a regular basis.
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