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Old 07-24-2013, 02:51 PM   #1
yousharenow
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Back so Single :(

Spent a year with who I thought was the perfect woman but as time went on more and more of the "little" things started to weigh down on me.

One of the biggest things is that we speak different love languages. I'm a "touchy-feely" kinda guy and she expressed it through things like trips to Jamaica and Tag Heuer watches. She isn't really the kinda girl to walk up to me and give me a hug and a kiss, its just not really "her".

So what happened is that we had a real bad blow out back in march. We were at a bar drunk and the thing is, I dunno if its because she is an Alpha personality (and so am I) or she is a successful woman in business, or an athlete, but she will go toe toe with me in little humor until someone gets hurt. Anyways this initial blow up started as we were at a bar and she got offended at some point with what was being said and left and went home out of now where, told nobody, nothing. I go to her house and just drunk blow the F up. I don't remember it but I said some mean things to her and like flipped her off and got my keys and went home.

That did a huge amount of damage to us. Shes the kinda girl that takes a LONG time to get over stuff.

She has a bit of a distant personality for my tastes in a relationship. She is one who prefers to go to a bar and sit there on her phone and not talk, especially if its just small talk. She isn't touchy feely, and after months of this I continually felt like she was emotionally unavailable in the relationship.

What it really was is me essentially getting frustrated I couldn't FEEL her because I wasn't giving her enough time to mentally "get back to a good place" with us. So Saturday night we were at a bar, she was with her friend in the corner and I just lost it. I pulled her outside and told her we were done.

I go into these episodes with her and its terrible, but it's not because I'm a drunk ass or anything like this. It's because I can't date someone who isn't emotionally available. She isn't a very warm person naturally, and again, IDK if its the business woman/athlete/alpha personality combo, or what it is but I got tired of being what felt like emotionally abandoned in the relationship.

So we talked on Sunday and of course shes pissed off and doesn't want to get back together because we just made eachother miserable over the past few months. It's like we never could just get back to having simple fun or something.

I really don't know what caused us to start just picking at eachother like we did, on paper we are a perfect match for eachother - we just like so many different things I wonder if we are too different.

She doesn't dance, like at all - comes from a super conservative family, doesn't like to talk politics or about anything really unless there is a "point" to it..it's just frustrating because I really, really thought this was the one, I really truly did. And now, because I know how she is once she sets her mind to something, we are done forever and it sucks - but we both deserve to be happy.

I keep asking myself this question but is it possible to have a warm professionally successful woman? I mean I live in the south so a lot of women just want to be stay at home wives, but I have always had a sweet spot for nurses as they fit that bill. She told me early on that she was worried I am too emotional for her and I think that fed into a lot of what it is.

Is it too much to ask for the woman in your life to come sit on the couch with you and give you a hug and a kiss, or rub your back just because?

And she only enjoyed night sex, no morning sex or anything =[

Feels bad man.
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Old 07-24-2013, 02:54 PM   #2
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Back so Single :(

Sorry to hear dude but like everyone else on here, you'll do better without her and you'll find a woman that suits you better.


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Old 07-24-2013, 02:55 PM   #3
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where the pics at? im surprised you lasted a year with her.
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Old 07-24-2013, 02:56 PM   #4
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where the pics at? im surprised you lasted a year with her.
It wasn't always like this. A lot of it was our resolve to just be together because we made sense - we just did...we just couldn't really get along.

It's almost like we just annoyed eachother lol.

Pics are over in the gf page. She's a bomb dude it sucks.
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Old 07-24-2013, 02:59 PM   #5
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On to the next one
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Old 07-24-2013, 03:32 PM   #6
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We were at a bar drunk...I go to her house and just drunk blow the F up...I don't remember it but I said some mean things to her and like flipped her off and got my keys and went home.

She is one who prefers to go to a bar and sit there on her phone and not talk, especially if its just small talk.

So Saturday night we were at a bar, she was with her friend in the corner and I just lost it. I pulled her outside and told her we were done.

I go into these episodes with her and its terrible, but it's not because I'm a drunk ass or anything like this.
Hmmmm...
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Old 07-24-2013, 03:37 PM   #7
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well if she isn't touchy feely like you are it's not a good match. Was she just like that in public or was it at home too?
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Old 07-24-2013, 03:47 PM   #8
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Re: Back so Single :(

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Sorry to hear dude but like everyone else on here, you'll do better without her and you'll find a woman that suits you better.


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I am with you 100% 'solidjake' and for 'yousharenow' ,i just got out of a similar relationship and felt like ****, as you should when you actually cared for the person, but its best to take it in stride, learn what you can from it, and the key is to keep yourself busy with things you enjoy doing, and maybe add another hobby to your list, and with time, maybe weeks of a couple of months you'll see your a better off with the way things turned out. And you seem to have been with the wrong girl if what you look for is warmth from her but she's the dry type, sounds just like my ex. Move on.

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Old 07-24-2013, 03:48 PM   #9
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"I'm a "touchy-feely" kinda guy"......

"She isn't really the kinda girl to walk up to me and give me a hug and a kiss"....

"She has a bit of a distant personality for my tastes in a relationship"....

"She isn't a very warm person naturally"....

These things stood out to me because they either represent the type of person that I am (..or have become), or they represent - to a lesser degree - how I feel or have felt about my current girl. Credit to you for lasting a year. I'm giving my current relationship until the end of the summer to show signs of improvement in those areas (...I've giving her time to open up because that is what she said that she needed). If I don't feel like I'm being met in the "emotional middle" by then, I'm dialing my emotional investment way down, and will just treat it like I'd treat someone that I'm involved with casually and start to see other people.

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Old 07-24-2013, 03:52 PM   #10
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These things stood out to me because they either represent the type of person that I am (..or have become), or they represent - to a lesser degree - how I feel or have felt about my current girl. Credit to you for lasting a year. I'm giving my current relationship until the end of the summer to show signs of improvement in those areas (...I've giving her time to open up because that is what she said that she needed). If I don't feel like I'm being met in the "emotional middle" by then, I'm dialing my emotional investment way down, and will just treat it like I'd treat someone that I'm involved with casually and start to see other people.
same here. Those factors about his now ex would have me really uncomfortable.
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Old 07-24-2013, 04:05 PM   #11
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Hmmmm...
Rephrase to "bad drunk" - im not a mean person or asshat when drunk.

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well if she isn't touchy feely like you are it's not a good match. Was she just like that in public or was it at home too?
Everywhere. In the beginning she was warmer but as a whole, she's not an especially warm person. She was never the one to grab my hand or come give me a kiss for no reason.


I think I wrote a lot of it off because I attributed the coldness as a price tag of being a beautiful successfully accomplished woman. But then I meet these nurses (whom along with teachers, I have a soft spot for) who are smart, educated, pretty, and warm and it just makes want to go date a bunch of nurses.

A side note - her mother is like that. Her mom is a cold person emotionally and very much like a guy - as is my Ex. The catch is, I saw a study that all women turn into their mothers ~31 years old....if that is the case I couldn't not be any less interested. They are both super accommodating people, but they are cold to the touch...I'm not really sure how to describe it but they aren't very emotional women.

Last edited by yousharenow; 07-24-2013 at 04:07 PM.
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Old 07-24-2013, 04:09 PM   #12
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Rephrase to "bad drunk" - im not a mean person or asshat when drunk.



Everywhere. In the beginning she was warmer but as a whole, she's not an especially warm person. She was never the one to grab my hand or come give me a kiss for no reason.


I think I wrote a lot of it off because I attributed the coldness as a price tag of being a beautiful successfully accomplished woman. But then I meet these nurses (whom along with teachers, I have a soft spot for) who are smart, educated, pretty, and warm and it just makes want to go date a bunch of nurses.

A side note - her mother is like that. Her mom is a cold person emotionally and very much like a guy - as is my Ex. The catch is, I saw a study that all women turn into their mothers ~31 years old....if that is the case I couldn't not be any less interested. They are both super accommodating people, but they are cold to the touch...I'm not really sure how to describe it but they aren't very emotional women.
That's a very hard thing to deal with. I'm not a very overly touchy person in public but I am when we were alone. If you want updates on my situation go back a few pages in the random love line thread
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Old 07-26-2013, 08:22 AM   #13
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Hey, definitely a tough situation bro, walking away, hope you realize that drunk "spouts" are the worst... it is as if they didn't even happen (sometimes) when you wake up OR WTFF did I do... but it seems the underlying problems existed since March as you state. Hence, you cannot change someone IMO. She will be who she will be... unless you bought her a lap dog LOL... so best to cut all ties and move on at this rate... in ATL bro, there are many dimes (having lived there)! Keep us posted. Head up! Best.....

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Old 07-26-2013, 09:24 AM   #14
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You guys both sound lame

Where are the activities ? Bars?

What's next movies?!?!
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Old 07-26-2013, 12:07 PM   #15
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You guys both sound lame

Where are the activities ? Bars?

What's next movies?!?!


Even I take my wife to go putt-putt. In fact, we're going this Saturday. Aww yeaa mother fvckers.
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Old 07-26-2013, 12:15 PM   #16
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Even I take my wife to go putt-putt. In fact, we're going this Saturday. Aww yeaa mother fvckers.
lol putt-putt. I always called it mini golf
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Old 07-26-2013, 01:50 PM   #17
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lol putt-putt. I always called it mini golf
I think Putt-Putt might be a chain of mini golf places. Sort of like how people call tissues "Kleenex" or bandages "Bandaids".
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Old 07-26-2013, 01:52 PM   #18
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tl;dr

where are the pics?!!!
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Old 07-26-2013, 01:56 PM   #19
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I think Putt-Putt might be a chain of mini golf places. Sort of like how people call tissues "Kleenex" or bandages "Bandaids".
I've heard people call it putt putt before and I wonder if that is where it originated.

q-tips!
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Old 07-26-2013, 07:39 PM   #20
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You guys both sound lame

Where are the activities ? Bars?

What's next movies?!?!


We went on trips a lot and putt putt and bocce ball, darts, etc.
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